I had a feeling alcohol would help at least for a little while, but I knew nothing would numb the pain of losing Alexis. I missed her—her and Sophia. And I didn’t think any amount of alcohol or time would heal that wound.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Iwas sitting on one of the lounge chairs, working on my laptop, when I realized that Sophia was quiet—too quiet. I straightened, my pulse quickening as my eyes darted around the pool. I let out a breath when I spotted her at the edge. She had her arms folded, one cheek resting on them so she was facing the pool house. It had been a few days since her party, a few days since Preston had left, and there was no denying she was in a funk.
“I’m almost done,” I said, typing out a response to an email. “And then we can go grab some lunch and do some back-to-school shopping.” I tried to infuse my voice with excitement, when all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and hide under the covers.
“Okay,” she sighed.
I read through the email one more time before hittingSend.I shut my laptop and set it aside.
“Soph, are you not excited about starting school?”
She lifted a shoulder. “I guess.”
“You aren’t excited about meeting your new teacher and seeing Brooklyn every day?” I asked, knowing how much she’d been looking forward to it all summer. “You’ll get to show off your new backpack, your new cast.” I raised my eyebrows, knowing how much she loved the mermaid design Kate had painted.
Sophia was quiet a moment before she lifted her head and looked at me. Her hair was slicked away from her face, the water reflecting back on her blue eyes, making them seem even more brilliant. “Who’s going to get me ready in the morning and take me to school? Who will pick me up?”
“I will.” I smiled. “At least, until we find another nanny.”
“I don’t want another nanny.” She pouted. “I want Preston.”
She’d taken the news that Gabby wasn’t coming back remarkably well. She’d accepted the fact that Cal had to leave in stride. But Preston…she seemed to struggle the most with the fact that he was gone.
I didn’t blame her. I was struggling with it too. I missed him; I ached for him. And though I told myself our relationship had come to its natural end, I couldn’t help but want more. Even if I was still mad at him for punching Sophia’s dad in the middle of her birthday party.
“Well,” I sighed. “Preston can’t come back because he hit someone. And it’s not okay to hit anyone, especially not a member of our family.”
She furrowed her brows. “Yeah, but…what if? Well, I thought it was okay if you were defending yourself.”
“Yes,” I said. “An exception can be made for self-defense.”
“What if Preston was defending himself?”
Huh.I hadn’t really considered that option. I’d just been so upset. So shocked. I couldn’t see past my emotions for any acceptable reason to justify his behavior. All I knew was that he’d punched Cal in the middle of Sophia’s birthday party, in front of all our friends.
“What if he was defending himself, and…and he said he was sorry? Could he come back then?” Sophia pleaded.
“I don’t know.” I didn’t want to promise something I wasn’t sure I could deliver.
Who knew what his excuse would be, or if it would justify his actions? All I knew was that he deserved a chance to explain. That was…if he even wanted to talk to me.
“Preston might be working with another family this fall,” I said, hating the thought.
I would be happy for him, of course. I knew he needed the money, but still…the idea of him moving on… Without me? Without us? I hated how we’d left things. What if I never saw him again?
“Call him, Mommy. Please call him. You have to try.”
“I wish it were that simple,” I said, needing more time to think it over.
“Hello,” Lauren called from the gate.
“Hey,” I said, relieved for the interruption. “Come in.”
“What are you girls up to?” She took a seat next to me, looking stylish in her turquoise dress and cork wedges.
“Well, we were thinking lunch and then some back-to-school shopping. Want to join?”
