“I could help.” Her voice was sultry. “Let me come over tonight and make you feel better.”
The offer was tempting, but I’d been less and less interested in her company lately. Maneuvering around my knee for sex was a pain in the ass. And it only made me feel even more powerless. More broken.
“Maybe another time,” I said, trying to evade her question.
I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but she knew where we stood. I’d always been completely honest—this was sex, nothing more. I wasn’t interested in a relationship.
“Sure.” She grinned. “Text me if you change your mind.”
She grabbed her coffee, stopping briefly at the table where Heath and some of the other guys were seated. As I stared after her, watching her smile and joke with them, I realized what an asshole I was. Here she was, offering herself up to me, and I’d turned her down. But I couldn’t do it.
I joined the group at the table, grateful for the distraction so they didn’t hear the hiss of pain when I sat.
“How’s the leg?” Heath asked.
I lifted a shoulder, trying to downplay my injury. I needed a fucking pain pill, but I’d left them at home. “Fine.”
“What’s this?” Decker grabbed the book from the table. He turned it over, skimming the back cover.
“I didn’t know you were into…Alaska.” He furrowed his brows and set the book back down in front of me.
“I’m not.” I had a feeling I was about to catch a ton of shit from the guys for this.
“Oh. Did you sign up for the new Spines for Soldiers program?” Heath asked. “I heard Dean was matched up with this chick who totally has the sexy librarian look.”
“Oh yeah?” Decker asked, suddenly interested. “How do I sign up?”
“Here—” I slid the book toward him. “You can have my spot.”
“Fuck yeah.”
“You do know you have to read the book, right?” Heath asked.
Decker passed the book back to me. “I don’t have time for that shit.”
A hush fell over the table as the realization dawned on them. The only reason guys like Dean or me had time for “that shit” was because we’d been injured. And if I wasn’t careful, I’d be sitting on the sidelines, reading books indefinitely.
Physically, my recovery was going well. Mentally, though, I was struggling. I’d let down my men, my brothers. And my conversation with Mark and Liam had only confirmed my fears. I was a liability. A loose cannon. No better than my father.
“Connor?”
“What?” I snapped my head up, only then realizing the conversation had resumed without me.
“Drinks tonight? Hot Tuna. Unless you have plans with—” Heath jerked his head in the direction of Katie.
I shook my head. “No. No plans with Katie.”
He lowered his voice. “You all right, man?”
I clenched my fist beneath the table. “I’m fine.”
He glanced over to where she was standing in the hallway, her back to us. She was pretty, nice too, but I couldn’t give her what she wanted. And the more she pushed, the more suffocating it was.
“You sure?” Heath asked.
I lifted a shoulder. “She’s getting too clingy, wanting to help me around the house, make dinner. It’s all a bit too domestic.”
“She can come help me.” He chuckled. “Hell, I’d happily get injured if she’d play sexy nurse.”
