He stepped closer, caging me in beside the wall. I searched for an escape.
“You look…” He toyed with a strand of my hair, twirling the curl. “Different.”
“Um. Thanks, I guess.” I ducked beneath his arm, sensing that he didn’t know quite what to make of the new me—the real me. “Good night.”
I hurried down the hall, shutting the door to my bedroom. When I glanced around for my phone, I realized it was still downstairs.Ugh.This was why I hated two-stories. If you forgot anything on the other level, it was such a hassle.
I was tempted to retrieve it so I could text Ethan to apologize, but I didn’t want to give Ben another chance to corner me. Though I trusted him, I was still trying to grapple with the fact that he’d left his family Christmas in Vermont to be here. Sure, he’d flirted in the past, complimented me. But that was only because he was a playboy. Right?
I stared at my reflection in the mirror over the dresser, feeling caught between two worlds. Ben said I looked different, and I evaluated the changes in my appearance. Sure, my hair was wavy—I’d always straightened it. And my face devoid of makeup. But the true transformation had come from within. I was happy, happier than I had been in a long time.
Despite my dad’s death, I felt freer, as if a weight had been lifted. And I secretly feared that returning to Boston would mean sacrificing that. I wasn’t sure which would be worse—losing my newfound freedom or Ethan.
With a heavy sigh, I climbed beneath the covers, not wanting to contemplate the loss of either. But it was impossible to ignore the empty bed and cold sheets. Was this what I could look forward to back in Boston? Ethan and I hadn’t been together long, but I missed having him beside me, whispering in my ear, making me laugh. I craved his touch, and I even missed Max’s soft snores from the foot of the bed.
What am I going to do?
I couldn’t give up everything I’d worked for to move back here. To be with him. Could I? But what was really holding me in Boston? A job I disliked. An apartment. A path I’d pursued and realized no longer suited me. My mind spun, listing pros and cons. Reasons to stay. Reasons why I shouldn’t. And when I finally fell asleep, my cheeks were wet with tears and my stomach churned with dread.
The next morning, I dressed and washed my face before heading downstairs.
Ben glanced up from his phone when I entered, giving me a once-over. “Feeling better?”
On the counter beside him were two to-go cups from Better Buzz and a bag of what I assumed were breakfast pastries. It wasn’t that late, but with the time difference, I wasn’t surprised he’d been up long enough to dress and head into town for breakfast.
I rubbed a hand over my face. “A little, thanks.”
I looked around for my phone, grabbing it off the counter. There was a new message from Emerson, but nothing from Ethan. I fired off a quick message to him, apologizing for ducking out of the party and asking him to come by later.
“I got you coffee—just the way you like. And since I didn’t know what you’d want from Better Buzz, I picked up several options,” Ben said, coming to stand behind me.
The heat of his body made me sweat, and I stepped aside and moved around the counter to grab some plates from the cabinet.
“Thank you.” I set out the dishes before going to the sink to wash my hands.
I stared out the window into the backyard, surprised by how picked up it was. Apart from the ash in the sandpit from the bonfire, it was almost as if there’d never been a party. Ethan was nowhere to be seen, Max either. And I stared out at his tiny house with a sense of longing.
“So…how’s the charm and disarm campaign going?”
“Um—” I swallowed down a bite of apple turnover, the sweet cinnamon flavor souring on my tongue. “Fine.”
“Fine as in, he agreed to sell?”
“Not exactly.” I gulped down some coffee, wishing I could go back to bed and hide beneath the covers.
The subject of the house and my future had been weighing heavily on my mind the past few days. I’d tossed and turned all night, and it was something I could no longer avoid. But it was something I needed to discuss with Ethan, not Ben.
“Well then, it’s a good thing I came to help things along,” Ben said, standing when there was a knock at the door.
I frowned, setting down my coffee cup. “What does that mean?”
“You’ll see.” He tossed the words over his shoulder as he headed for the front door.
I shook my head and stood. The front door opened and closed, and then I heard a woman’s voice. “Ben, right?”
“Yes. Nice to meet you, Vanessa. Thanks for coming, especially on New Year’s Day.”
“It’s not a problem. I know you’re only in town for a short time.”
