I closed my eyes, heart sinking. I knew I couldn’t deny him, especially not when he asked in such a gentle tone. Not when he’d been so forthcoming and open with me the past few weeks when we had our coaching sessions. He was still struggling to define what success meant for him, but he’d aced all my other assignments.
“You know how I did the Semester at Sea program?” It was on my resume, and we’d spoken about it in the past but mostly in terms of my sea and land experience, not the flight from hell.
“Yeah.” He smoothed his thumb over my hand, and I’d tell him anything if he’d keep doing that.
“Well, I had to join the group late, and my flight…” My throat clogged, my nose stinging.I will not cry. I will not.I sniffed and glanced toward the ceiling. Just like that night, the cabin lights were on, the air conditioning vents open.
“Hey,” he hushed. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”
I shook my head, a tear slipping out and falling down my cheek. “I—” I took a deep breath and stared at the back of the seat in front of me. “My plane hit some turbulence. We lost an engine, and we had to make an emergency landing.” I rushed out the rest of the story, just wanting to be done with it.
He gripped my hand tighter, and I could sense the concern radiating from him. “I had no idea. I mean, Ian mentioned your flight having some trouble, but I didn’t realize…”
I nodded. “I know. I didn’t want to freak him out, so I downplayed the seriousness of the situation. But if I’m being completely honest, I was certain I was going to die.”
“Fuck,” he said in a low voice, one I could imagine him using in the bedroom. He dragged his free hand through his hair. “Sumner, why didn’t you tell me? I never would’ve…”
“You never would’ve what? Invited me to come?” I shook my head. “That’s why I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to miss out on this opportunity. Besides…” I lifted a shoulder. “What would be the point? I knew I’d have to fly again sooner or later. And with Eric recovering from surgery, I couldn’t exactly leave you in the lurch.”
“Yeah, but maybe I could’ve done something. Helped you.”
“What? With drugs? We see how well that went,” I scoffed. “Besides, you are helping me,” I said, and I meant it. His touch, his words, they were like a balm to my soul. His kind smile helped me relax even more.
“So, what can we expect this week?” I asked, feeling a little calmer and needing to change the topic.
“We’ll have time to go over all that later,” he said, though he released my hand. “You sure you’re okay?”
I nodded. “Yes. Thank you. And I’d appreciate it if you kept this between us.”
“Of course I won’t tell anyone at the office. But—” he rubbed a hand over his chin “—I don’t like keeping secrets from Ian.”
“You know how he stresses. Especially about me,” I said, and he nodded his agreement.
“True, but—”
“What reason is there to tell him?” I asked. “What will it change?”
“Nothing, but don’t you think he deserves to know? Maybe he could help you.”
I scoffed. “Um. No. I’m a twenty-three-year-old woman who’s fully capable of taking care of herself.”
“I know, but—”
“Jonathan.” I narrowed my eyes at him.
He held up his hands in mock surrender, but his lips twitched at the corners as if he were fighting off a smile. “Okay. Okay. I promise.”
“What’s so funny?”
“I don’t know.” He lowered his hands. “I guess sometimes I see glimpses of you as a little girl, and it makes me smile.”
“Oh.” I tried not to let my disappointment show. Would he ever view me as the woman I was and not the little girl he’d known? Would he ever see me as Sumner and not Ian’s daughter?
“It’s not a bad thing,” he said.
“Mm-hmm.”
“I know.” He grinned. “You don’t like it when I mention how you were as a child. But you forget, I was there for most of your childhood, most of your life, at least until the past few years.”
