I nodded. “Yes.”
“Even if it’s only for one night?”
I nodded again, though this time, my voice was breathless. “Yes.”
“Then go for it. A few months ago, you nearly died. Do you really want to live with regrets?”
“No, but…my dad.”
“Has no room to judge. He cheated on your mom.”
I jerked my head back. “That’s…” I swallowed. “You know it’s more complicated than that.”
I wasn’t mad at my dad for what had happened. Maybe I had been at the time, but as I’d gotten older, I understood. I actually thought he’d made the right decision. And I loved Lea, even if their relationship had come at a cost.
“Yeah. Yeah.” She waved a hand through the air. “True. But the fact remains that your dad, of all people, should know better than to judge. Besides, there’s no need for him to find out, is there?”
“No, but still…it feels wrong somehow.”
“Ignoring your dad and the situation for a minute, how does it feel when you’re with Jonathan? Does it feel wrong?”
I shook my head. “Nothing has ever felt more right.”
“Then there’s your answer.”
Maybe Piper was right. Maybe…maybe my dad’s opinion didn’t matter. It had never mattered to me with the guys in my past. But he’d never had a personal connection with them. They’d never been his friend first.
“It doesn’t matter,” I finally said. “Because nothing will ever happen. Even if Jonathan wanted me, he’d always stop himself before giving in.”
“If he does,” she said, and I opened my mouth to shut her down. But she held up her hand. “If something did happen between you two, you need to be prepared.”
“I’m on the pill, and I’m sure we’d use a condom.” I wasn’t even sure why we were discussing this.
“Yeah. Not talking about birth control, but thanks for the update.” She laughed. “Good to be safe. But I’m talking about your heart—protect it.”
I had a feeling it was too late for that.
Chapter Twelve
“You really like to push yourself.” Kelli raked her nails down my chest. My cock didn’t even stir. “It shows.”
“Thank you.” I told myself to move, yet my feet remained glued to the wood floor of the empty yoga studio.
Kelli knelt to the floor, giving me the perfect view of her sculpted ass and lifted breasts. She was…exactly like the women I usually went for, I realized. Beautiful. Easy. Someone who expected no strings. Fucking her should’ve been a no-brainer.
But her voice wasn’t the one I wanted to hear moaning my name. Her hands weren’t the ones I wanted caressing my skin. And her mouth… The moment she pulled down my shorts and licked her lips, I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I wanted to. I needed a release, and my workout hadn’t done it. Jacking off in the shower this afternoon hadn’t done it. But I had a feeling this wouldn’t satisfy me either.
“Wait.” I gripped her shoulders, holding her steady. Her face was perfectly positioned. If I hadn’t stopped her, her lips would already be wrapped around my cock, sucking me down.
“What’s wrong?”
“I, um—” I backed away, tucking myself back into my pants. “I can’t do this.”
“I don’t see a ring.” She gave my hand a pointed look.
I shook my head. “I have an early meeting, and I should get to bed.”
“This will help you relax.” She reached out for me, but I evaded her grasp. “Because—no offense—but you seem pretty uptight.”
