“Did you enjoy yourself today?” he asked.
“I’m not sure enjoy is quite the word I’d use to describe it, though I did enjoy this morning.”So much for not pushing him.
“Sumner…”
The waiter came by, telling us about the specials. Jonathan ordered a bottle of wine, and I stole glances at him over the top of my menu.
“What?” He laughed after the waiter had gone.
I shook my head, returning my attention to the words printed on the page. “Nothing.”
“Now you have to tell me,” he said, pulling the top of my menu down so he could see my face.
“I guess I’m wondering…is this what it’s going to be like between us from now on? Awkward and stiff. Our conversations limited to surface matters?”
He closed his eyes briefly, his watch glinting from the table as he gripped the stem of his wineglass. “It’s not how I want it to be. Believe me.”
I toyed with my napkin while I attempted to process his confession.
“Then why are you doing this to us?” When he opened his mouth, I waved a hand through the air. “I know, I know… I’m too young, I’m an intern, I’m your best friend’s daughter.” I rolled my eyes, not even sure why I’d asked.
He glanced around as if anxious someone would overhear then blew out a breath. “That’s definitely a huge part of it, but…” He dragged a hand through his hair. “Did you know I came to the hospital after you were born? Did you realize I was there for every important milestone in your life? I watched you grow up.”
“What we did isn’t wrong,” I said, so tempted to place my hand over his before thinking better of it. Even so, I wasn’t ready to let this go. Let him go. “We’re not biologically related. You’re notactuallymy uncle.”
“Be that as it may, you have to understand why this is a terrible idea. Your dad has always been like a brother to me. He’s family, and I can’t lose him. Even if you are fucking incredible.”
I dipped my head. I wanted to bask in his compliment, but my mind kept returning to his words about my father, about family. I didn’t know everything about Jonathan’s past, but I knew enough. He really didn’t have anyone else.
Conversation returned to more “appropriate” matters—our meetings, the week ahead, registration for my fall classes, and productivity hacks. It was fine, nice even, but it wasn’t what I really wanted. If anything, it only reminded me of just how good we could be together.
The ride back to the hotel was silent, and I wondered if he—like me—was thinking of last night. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. Him on top of me, beneath me, inside me. His hands all over me.
We rode the elevator in silence, both of us retreating to opposite corners. By the time we reached our floor, I’d already resigned myself to the fact that I was going to bed alone and it was for the best. But that didn’t make it any easier.
“You don’t need to walk me to my door,” I said when he didn’t turn the opposite way to go to his. “I’m not a little girl.” It was childish, but I was hurt and frustrated and not just a little horny. I understood his reasons, but that didn’t mean I had to like them.
“No.” His voice was gravelly. “You’re not. But I’d like to all the same.”
The hallway was empty, but it scarcely seemed big enough for the tension vibrating between us. When we reached the door to my room, I already had the keycard out and ready. I held it up to the reader and stepped inside. “Good night.”
I didn’t wait for him to say anything. Didn’t want to have him reject me again or explain—yet again—all the reasons we couldn’t be together. Instead, I closed the door and leaned my forehead against it. I breathed hard, my breath warming my skin as it bounced off the door and back into my face.
Just this once, couldn’t he…
I shook my head with a heavy sigh, pushing off the door. Jonathan was nothing if not a man of his word. Once he set his mind to something, there was no use hoping otherwise.
I kicked off my shoes before pulling down my ponytail and shaking out my hair. I was halfway to the bathroom when there was a knock at the door. My heart stumbled over itself, my breath catching in my throat.
Surely…
For a minute I thought I’d imagined it, but then I heard that soft knock again. My heart started pounding, my body hyperaware. I was afraid to get my hopes up, but I couldn’t help it.
I peered through the peephole, wetting my lips at the sight of him. I swung open the door. His arms braced the doorway as if he were holding himself back. His breathing was ragged, and I could feel the storm brewing within him.
He slowly lifted his head, eyes dark and tortured. “All we have is this week.”
His words were an echo of mine from this morning, and I wondered what had changed his mind. Whatever it was, I wasn’t going to question it.
