I dropped my head, shoulders sagging. “I don’t know.” I didn’t know anything anymore. Was Jonathan the man I thought he was, or had I been played a fool again? Was he, as Piper said, Professor Dick Version 2.0?
She gripped my arms and shook me gently. “Ido. And you are. Hop in the shower, and then we’ll pack.”
“Why?” I croaked.
“Because, my friend, the world needs you.Ineed you. And it’s time for you to dust yourself off and step into your power.”
That did it. I burst into tears, and she pulled me into a hug. “I know you might not believe this, but you’re going to be okay. Now, will you please shower?” She stepped back, pinching her nose. “Because you smell.”
I rolled my eyes, but I knew she was right. A shower would do me good.
* * *
The following afternoon,I stood in the driveway, Piper’s arms wrapped around me. “You call me if you need anything, right?”
I nodded, stepping out of her embrace.
“I mean it, Sumner. Any time. ’kay?”
“Okay. Same for you.”
“Thanks. Okay…well, have a safe drive. And try to make some friends. Maybe date some guys your own age for a change.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I teased, sticking my tongue out at her.
We both knew I wasn’t going to be doing any dating anytime soon. I’d barely managed to make it through the past twenty-four hours, and that was only because Piper had been there every step of the way, holding my hand. Now, I was going to be alone. Alone with my thoughts. With the memories of Jonathan. I still couldn’t understand. I’d thought…
Never mind.
With a deep sigh, I hopped in the car and wound through the streets of the neighborhood. I accelerated onto the freeway, a weird sort of giddy anxiety bubbling up through my throat when I realized where I was headed. Without thinking, without intending to, I’d taken Jonathan’s exit. I hadn’t seen him since my last day of work, but I’d thought about him. I couldn’t stop thinking about him.
Even though I knew it was a terrible idea, I pulled onto his street, slowing as I neared his house. I hadn’t done something like this since high school, when Piper was obsessed with Steven Kingsley. I parked, and before I realized what I was doing, I was knocking on Jonathan’s front door.
I hadn’t expected him to be home, so when he answered, we both stared, a little surprised. His T-shirt clung to his chest, athletic shorts hanging low on his waist. Damn, he looked good.
“What are you—”
I marched past him, not even waiting for an invitation. He closed the door and stared at me.
“Sumner.” His tone was a warning. “I said everything I have to say. I really don’t think you should be here.”
He’d always encouraged me to speak up, to speak my mind. So I ignored him and continued on. “Do you know why you’re so unhappy?” I asked. “Because you won’t admit what you really want—not even to yourself.”
He crossed his arms over his chest. “You’re not my coach anymore. I didn’t ask for your advice.”
“I know you want me. You know you want me. So, why won’t you just say it?” I was panting, like a bull ready to charge. I wasn’t quite sure what had gotten into me, but I kind of liked it. “Say it.”
He grasped my shoulders, walking me backward until my back hit the wall. The cold surface was a jolt to my system. “Fine. I. Want. You,” he ground out. “But I can’t have you.”
I knew it.“Youcanhave me, but you won’t take me. There’s a difference.”
He shook his head, tightening his grip on my shoulders. I welcomed the bite of pain, silently begging him to stop fighting this, fighting us. And to start fightingforus. In business, he took what he wanted without regard for the consequences. Why couldn’t he do that with me?
“What happened to being daring and bold?” I turned his words back on him, thinking of all the lessons he’d tried to teach me in the boardroom. “Or does that only apply to business?”
“Fuck.” He pounded his fist against the wall beside my head. “I—” His body vibrated with tension, and it felt as if he might explode at any moment. The fuse was lit, and I was waiting for him to detonate.
“Fuck.” His voice was softer this time, almost pained. He rested his forehead against mine, loosening his grip, though the intensity remained.
