“I just…” I huffed, pacing, éclair forgotten. My body was agitated. My mind whirling. I’d been thinking about this all afternoon. “I need to practice. Like River and baseball. How can I expect to get any better if I don’t practice?”
“Practice…what, exactly?” Bennett asked, leaning against the counter and sipping some water.
“Kissing. Touching. You know—” I gestured in a circle with my hand “—sex.”
Did I really just say that aloud?There was nothing to do now but to roll with it. Roll with the fact that I’d just propositioned my brother’s best friend.
He coughed a few times. “Okay… I know you’re not a virgin. Unless you had River by artificial insemination.”
I rolled my eyes. “I’m not a virgin, though I could be. We only had sex twice before I got pregnant.”
But I got the feeling Bennett was good at sex. And the best way to level up was to work with someone more experienced than you. While I’d mostly applied that advice to my photography and my business, I assumed that logic still applied in the bedroom.
“Anyway,” I said, wanting to gloss over all that. My lack of experience. My past. “I need to practice. I’m just so bad and anxious and—”
He frowned, water bottle poised near his lips, and it sounded like he said, “I highly doubt you’re bad.”
I had no idea. That was the problem. And I knew that Bennett would be gentle with me, honest. I trusted him completely. What was more—Iwantedto experience this with him.
“I need this, Bennett. I don’t want to be single for the rest of my life. But I’m not having much luck so far. And Arlo’s the first guy—”
“Please tell me you’re not asking what I think you are.”
I stood before him. “Please, Bennett. I need your help. You’re…experienced. You know what women want.”
“I thought you were trying to date men,” he deadpanned.
“Ha-ha. Very funny.” I shifted. “Please.”
“Liam would kill me. He’d already kill me if he knew about my…coaching services. But this…” He drew in a shaky breath and looking at the ceiling as if it would give him strength. “I cannot cross that line with you, Wren.”
“We’re friends. I trust you.” I sensed him softening, so I continued. “How else am I supposed to get better? You wouldn’t expect a baseball player to practice hitting without a bat.”
“Yeah, but—” He shook his head. “That’s different. And you’re not playing with my bat.”
I wanted to crawl into a hole and die. I’d just put myself out there, and Bennett had shut me down immediately. I understood his reasons; I did. But it felt as if he were rejecting me, not just my idea.
“Wren.” His voice cracked. “It’s not that…” He paused, took a breath. “We can’t.”
“I know. I’m sorry. Please forget I ever mentioned it.”
I turned away and headed down the hall to my room, shoulders slumped. Bennett was right. We couldn’t—shouldn’t—cross that line. It was fine for him to give me advice, but touching was different. I kept telling myself that, but it didn’t lessen my disappointment and embarrassment.
He’s your friend. Your dating coach. Nothing more,I reminded myself for what felt like the millionth time. If only my heart and my body would listen.
Chapter Fifteen
Istared at the ceiling of Wren’s guest bedroom. Tick. Tick. Tick. Outside, the crickets chirped, adding their melody to the orchestra. Tick. Tick. Chirp. Tick. Tick. Chirp. I was losing my goddamn mind.
But was it really all that surprising? I’d been living at Wren’s for nearly a month. A month of teasing and laughter, a month of hanging out, of feeling like we were a family. Of falling even harder for her and her son.
Then there was the sexting this morning. I still hadn’t deleted the photo she’d sent me. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, though I knew I should. And our conversation this afternoon… All of it was just…surreal.
I tucked my arm beneath my head, struggling to get comfortable. After Wren had suggested “batting practice,” she’d avoided me the rest of the afternoon. She’d hidden in her room until River returned and then taken pains not to be alone with me. But she’d responded toBen’smessages. Had she chatted with Arlo too?
I was driving myself insane.
I kicked off the covers and reached for my water bottle.Empty.
