“What kind of final exam?” My voice was gruff, my gaze focused on her lips as lust and alcohol clouded my better sense.
“I don’t know.” She blinked up at me from beneath her lashes. “You’re the coach, not me.”
“We’ve already covered the basics—hand jobs, blow jobs, sex. What more could you need?” More importantly, what more did I have left to give? I’d given Wren everything, even my heart.
Could I really do this? Have sex with her one more time, knowing it would be the last? Could I sleep with her, knowing she’d be thinking of Arlo the entire time?
This was…Iwas fucked.
It was like being in a car while watching a truck crash into you in slow motion. You knew it was going to hurt like a motherfucker when you finally stopped spinning. But for the moment, all you could do was ride it out. That was how it felt lately with Wren—I was spinning, bracing for impact.
When my eyes met hers, I had my answer. I was going to give her a night to remember. A night that would eclipse anything that had come before or anything that would happen after. I was going to show her just how much I loved her through my actions. Our connection. And if she still wanted to go with Arlo on this romantic getaway, then I would finally let her go.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Bennett lay on top of me, lining himself up with my center. There was a new intensity to him, one I hadn’t seen before. Tonight was different. Maybe because we both knew it was the last time. Maybe it was just me and my melancholy feelings, but the way he looked at me was more tender. Almost loving.
Inwardly, I rolled my eyes at myself.Stop seeing something that isn’t there.
If he loved you, he would’ve tried to stop you from going away with Arlo. If he loved you, he’d tell you. A man like Bennett didn’t hold back with his feelings. He told River he loved him, the animals he worked with. Hell, I’d even heard him tell my brother he loved him. Why wouldn’t he say those three words to me? Why wouldn’t he ask me to stay?
Because he doesn’t love you.
Granted, I loved Bennett, and I was afraid to tell him. Which was why I’d attempted Harper’s plan. I’d even gone so far as to buy lingerie just to entice him to confess his feelings. And while I didn’t think he feared rejection like I did, perhaps he had his own reasons for staying silent. My brother came to mind as a big one.
“Be here,” Bennett said, filling me, making me whole. “With me.”
I peered into his eyes, sweeping his hair away from his face. I brushed my fingertips along his forehead, his eyebrows, his cheekbones, as we moved together in harmony. He was such a beautiful man. Such a beautiful, caring man. And when I was with him—when we were like this—it felt real.
He worshiped me with his body as we made love in silence. Our bodies doing all the talking. Connecting. Aligning.
Bennett had been living with us for almost two months now, and he’d slipped into our routine so easily, it was as if he’d always been a part of it. But this was it. The end.
All along, I’d told myself not to get too attached. Too comfortable having him around. Yet here I was…falling apart at the idea of him leaving.
“What am I going to do without you?” I asked, holding back tears.
He didn’t answer my question, instead taking my mouth in a kiss that stole my breath. I tried to shake away the crushing feeling of sadness. I tried to focus on being present—enjoying this moment with him. But it was all too much. Too painful.
But what could I say?
Don’t go. I think I’m in love with you.
There was no dirty talk tonight. No teasing and laughter. No promise of next time. Of a future.
And when I came, it was with tears in my eyes and his name on my lips. His body owning mine. He followed soon after, his cock jerking before he finally let go.
And then he pushed off me. Got up and out of bed. And went over to the bathroom.
I stared at the ceiling a moment then got dressed, quickly wiping away my tears. I did not want him to see me cry. I would not let him see me cry.
“Where are you going?” he asked when he returned to the room.
“Back to my room,” I said with my back to him.
“Oh.” He cleared his throat. “Okay.”
My heart felt as if it were shattering into a thousand pieces, and I kept waiting for Bennett to say he’d changed his mind. To ask me to stay. To tell me not to go with Arlo.
