Did I think I could do that?
“Because I want you, Halle.” His voice nearly shook from the conviction in his tone, and I felt it from the top of myhead to the tips of my toes. “I want to be a part of your life and Kai’s life. I want it all.”
“I…” My throat clogged with emotion. I wanted to, but I was scared. Scared to hope. Scared to believe it could be possible. But despite my fear, I found myself wanting to say yes.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Halle was on the edge, and my heart was in her hands. My breathing was shallow, and I was trying not to push her any more than I already had. But I was done holding back. This was my chance, and I was putting it all on the line in the hopes that she’d agree.
All in.
Come on. Say yes,I pleaded. Hoped. Prayed. I wasn’t sure I’d ever wished more for anything in my life.
“Jasper,” she sighed, and my heart sank. I’d been so hopeful, and now I was mentally preparing myself for rejection. She took her hand and placed it over my heart. Something about her action soothed me, even as I braced for impact.
“I’m… I want to be with you.Truly.” She met my eyes. “But I don’t understand why this has to be all or nothing. Why can’t we just let things evolve naturally?”
I placed my hand over hers, relieved, grateful, but also…concerned. “Maybe we could if we were a normal couple. Do you have reservations about me? About us?”
“No.” She shook her head. “This has nothing to do with you—and everything to do with our jobs.”
That was a relief. Sort of.
She gnawed on her bottom lip. “I know you want to tell our family and friends, but I’m not ready for that. And even if I were, we need to tread very carefully. This is a delicate situation.”
I wanted her to know that I took her concerns seriously. She was a single mom, supporting herself and her son. I had nothing but admiration for how hard she worked to provide for them. Let alone everything she was doing to help her parents. And I respected her dedication to my family’s company.
“I looked at your employment contract, and it guarantees you cannot be fired at will. Technically, Sloan is your supervisor, not me. While I can suggest things regarding your employment, she will always have the final say. Though obviously, the board weighs in since you’re now considered an executive.”
Halle’s shoulders seemed to relax slightly at that. “That’s good. I feel better about the fact that I don’t report directly to you.”
“So do I. I don’t like the idea of there ever being a power imbalance between us—at work or at home. I want us to be partners. Equals. And I want you to feel secure in your job, because you are important to this company.”And to me.
“Thank you.” She dipped her head. “It’s nice to work for a company that values me. And I appreciate your looking at that. My job—our roles at the company—is one of my biggest hesitations.”
“I understand that,” I said. Because truly, I did. Our relationship could be explosive—for her, for me, for the company. It wasn’t something I took lightly. “I do. And I’m not pushing for us to do a hard launch here, but I need to know that telling them is our end goal.” Because she was the end goal for me.
She peered up at me from beneath her lashes. “But we could be discreet for now, right?”
“For now,” I said, wanting to emphasize that point, even though I thought it might be best just to get our relationship out there. Part of it was impatience, but a bigger part of it was concern.
Last summer, we’d been having fun. There’d been no need to tell my family or the board because it wasn’t going to amount to anything serious. Things had changed for me during our time together, and I’d realized I wanted serious. But Halle hadn’t. Her life had been in London, and mine was in LA. She hadn’t wanted a long-distance relationship.
Now… Well, I was going into this with an entirely different mind-set. Distance was no longer an obstacle, and I didn’t want to let anything else stand in our way. I was thinking of the future—my future with Halle, with Kai. I wanted to do everything in my power to protect them. And that meant I had to think ahead when it came to our roles in the company, to Halle’s career, to how we were going to handle this with Sloan and my family, as well as Pierce and the board of directors.
“What else?” I asked, wanting to assuage Halle’s fears and reassure her. “What other concerns do you have?”
“Just—” She blew out a breath. “So many. What if things don’t work out? What then?” I could see the fear in her eyes. “What about my job? What about Kai?”
“What about him?”
“I haven’t dated anyone since the divorce. And this is all new territory for me. I don’t want to confuse him or have him get attached to you, only for things to end.”
I could understand that, even if I didn’t like how much emphasis Halle was putting on things ending. I didn’t even want to contemplate it, let alone discuss it. But I had toremember that she was divorced, and her reticence was understandable.
“Would you be okay with just being my friend or colleague for now?” she asked.
I tucked her hair behind her ear, wanting her to know that I understood her concerns regarding Kai. “He’s your son, and you know what’s best for him.”
