“I know, and it’s something I’m working on. Feeling my emotions. Expressing them.”
“But…” I tried to figure out how to best word my response. “I’m glad, really.” For him, for Kai. Hell, even for mesince I’d continue to interact with Craig until Kai was an adult. And this was certainly a much nicer version of my ex. “But what’s brought this on?”
Was he sick? Or dying? I didn’t want to jump to the worst-case scenario, but I honestly couldn’t imagine something short of life-altering to spur Craig to such drastic action. He’d always been a bit self-centered.
“Let me start by saying that I’m okay, but I had a health scare earlier this year.” He focused on the table, and I sank back down into my chair. Despite everything that had happened between us, I still cared about him. As a person. As the father of my child. “It really put a lot of things into perspective.”
“I can imagine,” I said, thinking of my dad’s diagnosis and how much it had thrown me for a loop. I didn’t know what had happened to Craig, and I didn’t need to know the specifics. “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”
“Thank you. I realized that I didn’t want to be the kind of father my dad is. I realized that I had a lot of regrets.” He gave me a meaningful look.
“I’m glad you’re okay. And I’m glad that you want to be more present for Kai. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”
“Thank you.” Something in him seemed to ease. “I know Kai needs stability, and you do a great job of providing that for him,” Craig continued, and I appreciated his saying that. “But I’d also love to spend more time with him.”
“I’m not opposed to the idea,” I hedged. Because I wasn’t. I just knew better than to take Craig at his word. He had a habit of saying one thing and doing another.
He nodded, and he actually looked…nervous? “I know what the custody agreement states, and I also know that you don’t owe me anything. But I was hoping we could come to an agreement between us, no lawyers. A weekend or two a month would be great. Or if you were going to be traveling for work, maybe I could stay with Kai. Or even if you just want a break, I could spend time with him instead of a babysitter.”
“I…” I was still completely stunned by this entire conversation. “I think we’d have to try it out first. I want Kai to have more time with you, but I need to know that you’re going to show up and follow through.” I wasn’t trying to be mean; I was trying to protect my son.
Craig considered it a moment. “That’s understandable. I know I haven’t always done the best job of that in the past. But I promise, things are going to be different this time.”
“I hope so,” I said, and I meant it.
He placed his hand over mine. “Thank you, Hal.”
“Have you told Kai yet?” I asked.
He shook his head. “I wanted to talk to you first. And I figured we should wait to tell him until it’s finalized. He’s had enough changes lately.”
I blinked a few times, seriously wondering if I’d tripped into an alternate universe. But then I spied my suitcase that needed to be unpacked and thought about all the things I needed to prep for the week, and I knew it was real. Even so, things were looking up for the first time in a long time.
Kai had spent a nice weekend with his dad, and Craig seemed to be serious about stepping up for our son. Jasper and I were going to give our relationship a chance. I’d gotten a fantastic promotion, and I loved my job. Dad was at his new facility and seemed to be settling in. So instead of dwelling on what might happen in the future, I decided to try Jasper’s advice of focusing on the present. I was going to live in the moment.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Ikept stealing glances at Jasper throughout the meeting. I’d tried to keep my attention on the head of hospitality, but I was finding it incredibly difficult to focus on anything but Jasper. We’d texted some last night before I’d gone to bed, and I couldn’t wait to be alone with him again. Not that I was sure when that would be. We both had busy schedules, and my weekends were my time with Kai.
Jasper adjusted his tie, and I wondered if he was struggling as much as I was. When he met my gaze across the table, his eyes darkened. I shifted in my seat, seeking relief from this ever-present ache. His attention darted to my legs, and he smirked.
Was I being reckless? Most definitely.
But that was the thing about living in the present. It was freeing in a way. Consequences seemed like a problem for future me.
“Unless there are any other questions,” said the head of hospitality, “I think that about covers it.”
“No questions,” Jasper said. “At least not from me. Halle?”
I shook my head, wishing I’d paid more attention there at the end. “I’m good. Thank you.”
Jasper stood, signaling an end to the meeting. “Halle, can I see you in my office after this? I want to review those numbers.”
“Of course,” I said, hoping it was a pretext to spend some alone time together.
I grabbed my things and followed him down the hall to his office, greeting everyone we passed. As soon as we were inside, and the door was shut, he pushed me up against it. I reached for him at the same time he grabbed for me, and our lips collided.
It was electric, and I felt as if I couldn’t touch enough of him fast enough. As if I’d been deprived of oxygen until now. Until him.
