If I tell Seb, I’ll not only ruin my chances of a future but his. And his is way more important than mine.
I hear the door of the bathroom open and close. No voices follow, so I assume whoever was in here has left. I close my eyes and take a deep breath before getting to my feet. I’m not sure how I’ll get through the rest of the day.
***
It's been three days since I last saw him. I know it would be stupid to show up at his dorm like he did mine. He wouldn’t let me in. He’d shut me out like I did to him. So, I stay away, knowing he needs more time to come to terms with what I told him I did. My mind replays the exact moment on a loop. Never once stopping, and I welcome it, because even though I had to make him believe what happened was my fault, I deserve it. Seeing the pain in his eyes is something I never want to witness again.
Slamming the book laid out in front of me closed, I stand and gather all the other forgotten books in front of me. Not watching where I'm going, I round the corner and down an aisle, but I bump into something hard. When I look up, Seb is standing there, a look I can’t quite decipher plastered on his familiar face.
“Seb—” I breathe out, my heart pounding hard against my chest. I take a step back but don’t get very far as he wraps his arms around me, pulling me farther down the rows of bookshelves. My eyes dart around and find not a soul in sight.
I look back at Seb. Waiting.
“You look pale, Mary. Feeling guilty for what you did? It’s making you sick, huh?” His question hits me hard.
“I-It’s not what you think, Seb. Please.” I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing I had never left my dorm room and waited a few more days. Not that this would be any easier. I can’t tell him. He would freak out, and we would both get kicked out.
I can’t fucking tell him.
No matter how badly I want to. I know it would be the easier way out, but Seb wouldn’t let this go. He wouldn’t just ignore what happened to me if I told him the truth. For now, I'll play the part of the bad guy. Like I'm the one who fucked up. Because I couldn't live with myself knowing I ruined his life even more.
I take a deep breath, readying myself for whatever hurtful words he will spew at me.
When I open them, they clash with his, and I can see everything. And it fucking hurts. But I can't let him read me.
I try hard to form some lie, but my words don't come out right. I can't think this close to him.
"What do you want?" I ask, training my voice not to shake even though all I want to do is sob into his chest until he holds me back. But I don't do that. Instead, I mask any emotion on my face and steel my back straight. Not giving anything away, even if inside my chest feels like it's caving in on itself.
"What do I want?" he repeats on a laugh that holds no humor. "I want to go back in time and change what happened at that party. I want to—" He turns and runs his hand through his black hair. "I want to go back in time and changeeverything."
Chapter 5
Sebastian
I'mboilingwithfury,my teeth grind together so hard it hurts my jaw. I stand there watching her mouth open and close. Her eyes slam closed, and her head shakes back and forth as if trying to clear her mind.
When her eyes open, she looks around the room for any escape. But there's only one, and I won't let her get near it. She knows what she did was wrong—I can see the regret written all over her beautiful fucking face.
I take her in. I've already noticed that she looks paler than usual. The dark bags shadowing her eyes, the way her hands are shaking with each passing second. I want nothing more than to pull her into my arms and comfort her the way I'm used to doing.
However, I struggle to move past what happened. How could she allow those fucking assholes to touch her in any way?
Ever since my parents died from a pill overdose, landing me in foster care at the young age of ten, Mary helped heal me from the trauma I suffered. She was the only one who was nice to mein that house. The foster parents weren’t terrible, but they often looked away when something was happening instead of dealing with it. Mary and I both stayed there for almost a year before I got kicked out because one of the other little boys was picking on her.
Seeing her cry sent me over the edge.
The anger I felt left my body the moment my fist connected with his face—over and over again—until Mary was screaming for me to stop. That finally got our foster parents' attention, and they had me removed.
The whole reason I left was because someone made Mary cry, and I ended up doing the same thing by getting kicked out. I moved in with another foster family the next day.
Thankfully, it was my last one. My best friend Ace’s parents were the ones who took me in, and that’s how I met him.
Now, the same girl who was everything to me stands there with the nerve to cry and act like a victim in the mess she made. "I want to go back in time and changeeverything." I manage to keep my voice down. My fingers itch to wrap around her throat, but I hold myself back.
No. I'll never be able to forget this.
I know Tyler and Anthony are the Dean's kids, so there’s only so much I can do without losing my scholarship. That is something I can't risk, even if I crave to feel them break in my hands. Stupid, spoiled-ass rich kids who think they can do whatever they want.
