“Not like I have a choice in that matter. So, yes.” He asks the same question every month as if I, for whatever reason, decided I'd go screaming about what happened with his sons. I don't think anyone would believe me anyway. I've never hated two men more than them—besides Dean Westwood. He's just as bad for covering for them.
He gives me a curt nod, and I stand, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. Before I pull the door open, his words stop me.
“Just remember what’s at stake. Not only his tuition but yours as well, Miss Locke.” I don’t reply as I pull the door open and exit his office. A weight is instantly off my chest, making it easier to breathe.
The trek back across campus goes fast since my mind isn’t focused on anything but the bullshit that was back there.
Six months since the worst night of my life.
Since I lost everything.
I've had to pretend for the past six months that everything is okay, that I’m barely managing to keep myself together. All my grades are slipping, and getting out of bed gets harder every day.
I’m alone in this.
No one to talk to.
No one to turn to.
Would Maddie and Tate believe me? I want to think they would, but what kind of friend would I be if I put them in a situation like that? Those girls would do anything for me, and I know they would push me to tell Seb, and I can't. I won't. It doesn't matter how much it hurts to have him hate me. One day, he'll understand.
One day, I'll tell him the truth.
***
I've had a lot of time to think about what I want. And it will always be him, which is precisely why I've been applying to other schools. Being around him every day is no longer something I can endure. I need to get away and not be reminded of what I can't fix. That's why right now, I'm sitting at a table in the courtyard, Maddie and Tate across from me.
"I'm leaving Eldridge." They both freeze, eyes growing wide.
"What do you mean?" Maddie asks, her boyfriends walking up behind her. Both of them take turns kissing her.
"Hey, Tate. Mary." Ace says as he takes the empty seats next to Maddie.
"What're you guys talking about?" he asks, leaning forward, arms resting on the tabletop. That's when Damon comes into view, heading toward Tate. Great. The whole fucking gang is here.
"Mary was just telling us about why she's leaving Eldridge." Maddie sends me a death glare, and I shake my head, not wanting to go over this with everyone here. All three of these men are friends with Seb, which means he'll find out. Not that I think he'll care. He’ll probably be happy.
"What do you mean? Like for the weekend or—?" Ace asks, stealing one of Maddie's french fries and popping it into his mouth.
"Permanently," Maddie mumbles, looking even more pissed off that I just sprung this on her. Before I can say anything, Seb comes into view, walking straight to our table. When his eyes meet mine, his stride freezes for a moment, like time stutters around us.
His fingers curl into a fist at his side as he approaches. He goes to the empty seat by Tate and settles in, not once acknowledging me again.
"What're we talking about?" he asks, and the sound of his voice sends a fresh wave of sadness washing through me. Everyone looks at me, and I shake my head, looking down at my books and notebook in front of me. I grab everything, shoving the mess of papers into my bag without caring if they get ruined, as Ace opens his big-ass mouth.
I shoot up from my seat but freeze in place when Ace announces my plans to everyone at the table—specifically the one person I didn't want to know.
"Mary was telling us that she's leaving Eldridge." His hazel eyes lock with mine, and my stomach drops like I’ve missed a step. I force myself to breathe past the sharp, traitorous tug beneath my ribs, fighting against a connection I desperately want to sever at this moment.
I spent the whole morning running through the reasons why I pretend to hate him, just as he hates me.
He thinks I cheated on him, and that's why he hates me. I pretend to hate him because it's easier to make him the villain, even when he's not. But none of that quiets the ache in my chest. Each brutal memory slashes at my heart, reopening scars that haven't yet healed.
I hate him for the sleepless nights, the tears shed, the irreparable harm to my soul. Despite everything, a flare of warmth, of familiarity, beats between us, even when it shouldn’t. It would make everything a lot easier if I could forget him. Forget everything.
Seb was the first person I’ve ever truly loved—the only one who has made me feel safe, loved, and wanted. It frustrates me to no end.
Despite our current standing, I still love him.
