Fuck, he was impressive and obviously reallyfucking dangerous.I wished I couldcompete against him like that. But if he could handle four guys atonce, then I was seriously fucked; especially since he had justspent all night fiercely fucking me before being out there at thecrack ass of dawn, training like it was no big deal while I was uphere throbbing and aching all over.He had to be an alien.There was no other explanation.
I went back inside and took a shower inDarren’s bathroom. While I waited for the water to heatup,I summoned the courage to look at myselfin the mirror and nearly cried. My eyes were red, puffy, andbloodshot from last night’s tears and lack of sleep, and a largered bite mark on the side of my neck stung like a bitch. Smallbruises marked my wrists, hips, and ribs, and my ass had small redlines across my cheeks. God, I was a fucking mess.
I barely had any energy to stand, so I satin the corner and washed myself until I felt clean enough to justsit there and rinse off. I let the spray of the hot shower raindown on me, enveloping me in a warm and wet heat. I pulled my kneesto my chest, wrapped my arms around my legs, and laid my foreheadon top of my knees. That was when I started to cry. Again.
I was in pain, both mental and physical, andI wanted everything to just go away. Last night had been horrible,and I was seriously pissed at myself for going after Darren like Ihad. He was so unfazed by me; the only thing I could successfullydo to him without failwas givehim wood. Stupid. So stupid.
After a while of just sitting there andsilently crying, I heard the shower door open and knew it wasDarren. I felt my body tremble as I tried to hide my face from him,hoping he’d just leave me be, but he hesitantly stepped in, closingthe door behind him. His steps were soft andslowas if he were afraid of scaring a wildanimal.
He crouched low beside me and placed hislarge warm hand on my shoulder. I shuddered and choked back a sobas I continued to hide my face from him. He then moved me a fewfeet from the tiled wall and stepped around me to sit down behindme, his legs on either side of my body. He then pulled me againsthis chest and wrapped his arms around my entire body, clutching meto him. It only made me cry harder that he was trying to comfort mewhen he was the source of my pain, not my solution.
For the longest time, he just held me likethat while I cried my sorrows down the drain.Eventually,he was able to pull my head awayfrom my knees to lay it on his chest. His hand cradled my face andhe patted down my wet hair while I melted into his body. I hatedhim so much, but I had never been more grateful for his unusualtenderness.
At that moment, I suddenly wanted him totake care of me, to comfort me in the aftermath of his fury. Iwanted him to show me how much I truly meant to him, that I waseverything tohim ashe had said.I wanted him to prove it. I wanted him to make me feel cherishedand special and loved so I wouldn’t notice the shadow of miserythat promised to consume me if he didn’t. I was so tired of beingafraid all the time. I just wanted to feel something, anything,other than the absolute hopelessness I felt right now as I crumbledin his arms.
Hewasbreaking me. I could feel it.I was shattering right before his eyes and I hated myself for it. Isuddenly had no desire to fight him, at least notatthis moment. I was pissed off at how fuckingweak I looked right now, but I told myself this was only temporary.I had to release my weakness if I was to become strong again andrise above it. I would regain. I would survive. I wouldn’t let himbreak me. I was Jaden fucking Wilder, and I was made of fire andsteel.
When I was done with my stupid fuckingtears, I rose off Darren and looked him dead in the eye. He had anice little red mark at the top of his cheek from my elbow, butother than that, he came out of last night completely unscathed.Zero expression on his face, Darren took my face in his hands andwiped my tears away with his thumbs. A small moment of mutualunderstanding passed between us, me showing him I could withstandhim, and him loving that I could. His eyes blazed with intensity ashis gaze met mine, but I wasn’t afraid. Not this time.
And then he leaned in, pulling my facetoward his so he could kiss me with anutmostgentle passion I had never experienced with himbefore. That kiss spoke a thousand words of need,want,lust, and absolute acceptance. Darren waswho he was, there was no changing him, and there was no changingme, but what I could do was evolve around him and he would ensurethat.
We finished our shower together in silence,and then, after carefully drying me off, Darren carried me back tohis bed and laid me down. I felt the weight of my eyelids again asI fought to keep them open, but they were quickly winning theirbattle with me. I felt Darren climb in beside me and pull me to himas he had the night before. I relaxed against him with my head onhis chest and his lips on my forehead while I finally drifted backto sleep.
~*~
I had never witnessed anything so honest andpure in all my life. When I opened the shower door, I didn’t knowwhat toexpect,but seeing Jadenhuddled in a ball and crying on the shower floor, my heart suddenlyswelled for her. I wasn’t sorry for what I had done last night, sheneeded to learn her lesson and she obviously had, but when I sawher like that, all I wanted to do was hold her and comfort heruntil the tears stopped. Andeventually,they had. They stopped because Jaden hadsomething most women I knew didn’t—resilience. When she finishedcrying and looked me right in the eyes like that, my level ofrespect for her had grown immensely.
She was showing me that, yeah, I might hurther and make her regret every fight with me, but she could take it.She could withstand my wrath, and though it might take her sometime and tears to recoup, she would always eventually come back tome with eyes blazing and fire in her heart. I loved that about her.It was exactly why I chose her. She was absolutely perfect for me,and I was never ever letting her go.
When Jaden’s breathing evened out, I gentlyeased out from under her, pulled the sheets over her shoulders, andslipped out from the room. I wanted to stay. I wanted to watch hersleepagainstme while I listenedto her soft breathing and beating heart and felt her silky skinunder my fingertips, but I had too much shit to do.
When I saw her standing on my balcony, Isuddenly ached to be at her side. I hadn’t expected her to wake upso early or to see me train the way I did. That was a normal once aweek routine for me to keep my skills sharp. Not many peoplebattled the way I did anymore these days, but I prepared foreverything and anything.
I left Jaden in my bed and decided to lether sleep for as long as she needed. She wasn’t as used to thoselongnights asI was. I changedinto a pair of jeans and a black dress shirt since I planned towork from home today. I left a note for Jaden on my nightstand andheaded to my office, punching in the code to enter through the dooras a security precaution.
My office was huge. A large conference tablewith twelve chairs sat at the end of theroomwhile two black leather sofas faced each other overa black Persian rug in the middle of the room. A long, glass coffeetable sat between the two couches with a large glass ashtray placedin the middle. Tall bookshelves adorned my walls to my right and awindow the size of the entire wall gave a perfect view of theocean. My giant black desk rested a few feet away from the windowso all I had to do when I needed a break was turn around and findthe ocean at my feet. The drawer underneath my keyboard containedseveralhandgunsand loadedmagazines, just in case. All the windows in my house werebulletproof so I could never be assassinated in my own home, but Iwas still never not in reach of an automatic weapon.
I fired up my computer and started replyingto numerous emails that required my immediate attention. Two hoursand several phone calls later, I had put out four fires and secureda new deal with an arms dealer in Texas. I had also received areport from the new manager I selectedfromthe pile my accountant recommended for thewarehouse. Apparently, things were going well and the results ofthe latest auction were currently pending, but I had been informedsales were through the roof.
Scott handled some shit for me here andthere, especially when it came to our soldiers and trainingfacilities. I had a small army at my back to command whenever shitwent down with another organization, and so far, we had never beenmatched. I’d crushed several cartels and other crime families whohad crossedme in the pastbutmade millionaires out of those who worked with me favorably. Giveme twelve hours, I could easily make you or break you. It all justdepended on how well you could negotiate and follow the rules.
I had also scheduled another appointment forJaden to meet with the Russians to redo her nails. Since I wassuddenly feeling generous, I really would let her choose her nailcolor and I’d even have them throw in a facial and hairtreatment.
I decided to leave Jaden alone for the restof the day and let her rest. She seriously needed it. I said shecould wander the house when I was home so I lengthened theperimeter for her collar so she could get breakfast when she wasready. I kept the screenonmysecurity camera in my roomup onin the corner of mydesktopso Icould watch her as she slept and know when she woke. Normally, itwas off as I didn’t need my own men watching me, but I could turnit back on whenever I wanted.
I figured it was probably time to startthinkingaboutthe strategy Iwould take to eliminate Jaden’spestof a family, either piece by piece or all at once. Iwould want every single member located before I gave the order tostrike. I’d have my men watch them for a while, study their habitsand routines – the same way we did when selecting new targets forthe auction. The when could very well be determined by Jaden’sbehavior, assuming it improved in the next few days. After today, Ihad a feeling things were going to be very different with her. Thatmoment in the shower today seemed to have clarified something forher and I hoped it would help her to accept her place. The soonershe made peace with that, the better. It would make her life withme a hell of a lot easier … for both us.
I gave Scott the order to start locating allof Jaden’s family. I wanted to, at least, obtain the leveragefirst. It was time to get the wheels of that train in motion.
~*~
I woke up several hours later absolutelystarving. I had missed dinner yesterday as well as breakfast thismorning because, when I looked back over at the clock, it was aftertwo in the afternoon. Holy fuck, I couldn’t believe I had sleptthat long or that Darren had allowed me to sleep that long. I guesshe knew I needed it. I was still sore as fuck, but sleep made mefeel well enough to leave the bed. Darren was nowhere to be foundagain, so I imagined he left me alone to sleep. I looked over athis nightstand and found a note from him.
I’ll be working from my office today.
Go get yourself some breakfast and I willfind you later.
No going outside.
