“My poor little Jaden.” He snickered. “Don’tworry. I’ll protect you from all the spiders.” He leaned over andkissed my forehead, a smart-ass grin smacked across his face.
I put my hands over my face and rubbed myeyes, groaning in absolute embarrassment. I just watched this mantake on four men witharnises, andhere I was freaking out about a little fucking spider. God, I feltpathetic, but I could never shake the trauma I felt whenever Ithought back to that moment where I wanted to rip my skin and hairout.
Darren just continued to chuckle at me andkissed my temple. “So adorable.” He smirked and then smiled down atme.
Wow, that smile was something else. Genuine,honest, and for some reason, sexy as hell. It was suddenly hard tobelieve I was looking up at the same man who had caused me so muchpain the night before, yet here he was practically beaming at meand rescuing me from my childhood fears. I hated the whiplash Ifelt when he was a complete monster one minute and a totalheartthrobthe next. I didn’t knowwhat to make of it, but I certainly appreciated theheartthrobto the monster any day.
I briefly wondered if behaving for him wouldactually keep the monster at bay, or if it would still require itsfix. Darren was easier to tolerate when he was just the cockyasshole; I could handle that. But it was when the true colors ofhis cruelty shined through that I found myself wanting to run forthe hills.
He wanted me to see both sides of him, theman and the monster, both of which he expected me to fear, love,and obey. The man was the one obsessed with keeping me while themonster was the one obsessed with hurting me. One to revel in mysubmission and the other to combat my defiance. I would have tolearn how to manage the two, to keep them in line so theyfed fromeach other and not fromme. MaybeIcould bring Darren to heel for once—show him therewards for treating me well instead of merely dismissing them.Maybe then he would forgot about my family and solely focus on me.Maybe all I really had to do was distract him from the biggerpicture. I had so much experimenting to do.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Tests and Lessons
Another month went by and itwas officially falland football season. Almostevery Sunday, Darren and I, and some days evenScott,would spend a few hours in front of thebig screen TV in the living room, enjoying a beer and watching thegame. It was amusing watching Darren react to the game, trueemotion coming out of him withoutrestraint. Sometimes it was anger, but most of the time,it was fits of thunderous joy. But for someone who was in charge ofa criminal organization, seeing him watch and enjoy football almostmade Darren seem normal—human—and it fascinated me.
Once, I made the mistake of letting him pullme into his lap during a game, and when his team scored the winningtouchdown, he had leaped off the couch with such force, I flew offhim and landed on the floor. He hadn’t even noticed until he saw meon the ground scowling at him, rushing his arm down to help me upand apologizing sincerely. It was weird to hear him apologize, butI guess if he unintentionally hurt me, he did feel bad about it.Maybe there was hope for him yet.
As far as actually watching the games, Ireally only paid attention when the Lions were playing. It broughtback so many memories with Jason, and I had to try so hard not tolet Darren see my heartbreak. Sometimes, I would need to excusemyself so I could collect my thoughts and dismiss them before theythreatened to consume me. At one point, I thought Darren wasstarting to catch on, but eventually, my memories got easier toignore.
Oftentimes,he would catch me staring out the window, lost in my own thoughtsand longing to be outside. I really wasn’t an indoor girl. I lovedto be outside and active, soaking up the sun and enjoying the worldaround me.
Ever since I had been taken, a lot more cameinto perspective—what was important and what wasn’t. I needed tostay as positive as I possibly could in this kind of situation, andthe only way to do that was to surround myself with all the thingsI loved. My only problem—Darren kept so many of them away. I hatedbeing cooped up in the house all day. Granted, my cage had expandedimmensely since my confinement to my room, but it wouldn’t beenough. It would never be enough.
During halftime, Darren noticed me leaningagainst the arm of the couch, my chin resting on my folded arms asI stared out the window. I felt his hand graze my back in a gentlesweep, and I turned my head back over my shoulder to acknowledgehim.
“What’s on your mind?” Darren asked me.
I wanted to lie. I wanted to say nothing,but he would know and then I’d be in trouble. So I spit the truthout as I usually did.
“I’m just wondering when you’re going to letme go outside when you’re gone,” I said, trying to sound aspathetic and puppy dog like as I could.
He rolled his eyes and sank backonthe couch, eyeing me intensely.
“I just gave you free roam of the house whenI’m gone, and now, you’re already pushing to go outside?”
“Hey, you asked, and I told you the truth.You can’t be mad at me for that,” I replied, my voice picking up abit.
He sighed and stared off into space for amoment before returning his gaze to the TV to finish watching thegame.Eventually,he spoke upagain after I turned my head back around to continue looking outthe window.
“Is that something that you seriously need?”He leaned forward, staring at me intently. “With more freedoms comemore rules and responsibilities.”
“Yes,” I asserted softly. “I feel like I’mstarting to suffocate in here.”
I knew there would always be rules wheneverit came to new freedoms, but eventually, they would change whenDarren could see I wouldn’t betray him. He stared at me for amoment; his face was expressionless as I searched his eyes for anyhopehe might ease mysuffering.
“I’ll think about it,” he finallysaidand turned his attention backto the game. That was meant to be the end of the discussion … but Iwas stupid, so …
“No, don’t think about it,” I replied,turning my body to him completely. “You said you wanted me to behappy. This will make me happier, and I will respond to you betterwhen you stop keeping me cooped up in the house all day.”
He quickly turned his head and narrowed hisgaze on me. I had probably stepped out of line.
“I’ve expressly told you my decisions werefinal. When I said I would think about it, I will do exactly thatand nothing more. Do not push your luck with me, Jaden,” hewarned.
I could have slumped into myself. I couldhave let his words discourage me, but I wanted to experiment withsomething and see where it got me. I leaned forward and put both ofmy hands on the couch, staring at him with a sexy yet sorry look onmy face. And then I slowly crawled over to him from the couch.
“You’re right,” I said softly. “I’msorry.”
