“Relax,” he said, his hands rubbing my armsto release the tension in my muscles.
Eventually, I just gave up my fight and sankagainst him. I was exhausted, defeated, and sore. I just wanted tocurl up in a giant soft blanket and disappear from the world. I hadnever been more embarrassed in all my life. I had lost. I hadfucking lost, and now, here he was subtly claiming his victory overme. I wasn’t going to fight him anymore today, now that I knew whathe was capable of. I would have to change my strategy—find aweakness and use it to my advantage somehow.
“Sit up,” he suddenly said, and I allowedhim to help me return to an upright sitting position. He thengrabbed a pitcher from the edge of the tub, dipped it in the water,and gently poured it over my head. The warm water poured down overmy body, completely drenching me and warming me all over. He thentook some shampoo and began rubbing it into my hair.
I wrapped my arms around my knees as Darrengently massaged my scalp with his strong fingers. It felt so good Inearly moaned. When he was satisfied, he rinsed my hair severaltimes until it was soap-free before slatheringmy ends in conditioner. He then pulled me backby my shoulders to rest against him again. He poured more soap intohis hands and began to massage and clean the rest of my body.
He started with my shoulders, then down myarms, rubbing in slow circles, until he reached my hands, massagingthem and being especially gentle around my knuckles, which werestill bruised. My internal struggle was beyond real as I foughtwith myself not to cringe away from him. I didn’t want him to touchme in the slightest, not after what he had just done to me earlier,but I had to get over my fear of him. I had to pretend it was okay.I don’t know how, but by some miracle, I was able to relax andsomewhat enjoy what he was doing to me. It must have been theeucalyptus.
Eventually, his soapy hands found their wayto my chest, and I immediately tensed and allowed a small vocalprotest to slip past my lips.
“Stop,” he said lightly, yet I could notmistake the annoyance in his voice.
I closed my eyes, biting my lip as hehandled my breasts; not in a sexual way, but simply just to cleanthem. His touch lasted only a few seconds before they made theirway down my torso and stopped at my hips. His hands grazed up anddown from my ribs to my hips, over my abs and back. Histrailsent a chill through me even though Iwas nearly neck deep in hot water.
And then his hands found my legs. He startedwith the outside of my thighs and worked his way down my calves andto my ankles. Eventually, he made his way back up on the inside ofmy legs, and my stomach began to churn with knots, fearing that hemay be seconds away from his next helping of my body.
When his hands found their way to my innerthighs, I closed my knees, hoping to deter him, but that waspointless. Darren just slid his hands back between my thighs andparted them with ease.
I made another small verbal protesting moan,but he just softlyshushedme.
“Relax,” he said and kissed me on the sideof the head.
Instead of focusing on relaxing, I tried tofocus on falling asleep. I was so tired, and I probably could haveallowed myself to fall asleep against him in the tub, but with hisventuring hands, it was a little difficult to accomplish.
His hands continued to lightly rub back andforth until he was massaging the juncture of my legs. Like somegoddamn fucked-up weed, I felt my core begin to bloom, and it mademe cringe inside that my body would want any further touch from himdown there.
His hands veered closer and closer to myouterlips, and when he finallygrazed it, I couldn’t take it anymore. Both my hands went for hiswrists, stopping him in his tracks.
“Please,” I pleaded.
“Jaden,” he prompted, that dangerous warningin his voice again that twisted my stomach.
“It still hurts so much,” I nearlywhimpered. I hated how pathetic I sounded, but I needed to know ifhe was capable of granting mercy if I milked him for it.
I felt him sigh heavily behind me. For amoment, I thought he was going to lecture me about obedience, butinstead, his arms gently snaked behind my legs and pulled me closerto him. With his chin restingonthe top of my head, I became a ball in his arms, pressed tightlyagainst his chest.
And then the unthinkable happened, somethingI didn’t think I would ever do in front of him. I started to cry.My shoulders quaked and my body shook as tears began to spill frommy eyes. I buried my face into my knees in an attempt to hide myweakness from Darren since he only valued strength, but my cryingwas beyond obvious. I wasn’t even sure why I was crying, but therealization of losing to him and living with it was too much for mypride to handle. I was embarrassed. Shameful. Weak. At this rate,Darren would eat me alive.
But instead of scolding me or lashing out,Darren remained silent, clutching me tightly to him as his handsrubbed against my skin as a means of comfort. He planted littlekisses on my head as he tried to shush me, lulling me into apassive trance, and I could feel myself giving in. My cries weresilent as hot tears poured down my face and dripped into thebathwater, mixing my sorrow with survival.
I wanted to ask him so many questions; Ineeded to know so many answers. How did he get this way? Whathorrible thing had happened to him to make him the monster he wastoday? And the mystery he was now. He could have left me there,could have told me to grow a pair, but instead, he held me closeand let me cry. It was confusing, but I was too tired to solveDarren’s riddles. I just wanted to go to sleep and pretend this daynever happened.
Eventually, I picked my head up, rubbed myface, and took a deep breath, releasing whatever grief I had leftand deciding to move on with my life. I had lost but one lowlybattle; I had not yet lost the war.
“Better?” Darren askedmeas if he knew allowing me to cry would makeme feel better. I found it strange that he cared at all.
“Yes.” I sniffled.
“Good,” he said, kissing my temple.
He then took the pitcher, refilled it anddumped it over my head once more. He not only washed away the tearsfrom my face,but he also washedaway my fire. The flame that had burned so hot withvengeancewas nowreducedto nothing but glowing embers. I decided to let itgo and live to fight another day.
Once he’d fully rinsed me, the conditionergone from my hair and my face tear and make-up free, Darren pulledthe plug from the tub and stepped out. I kept my eyes on the wateras it slowly swirled down the drain, taking my fight with it.
“Come on,” Darren urged.
I turned my head to find him with one towelwrapped around his waist while he held another one sprawled out inhis hands. God, he had an amazing body, and it looked even betterwhen it was wet, even with all the obvious battle scars. I slowlystood from the draining water and stepped out of the giant tub,allowing Darren to wrap me in the massivetowelthat fell to my ankles.
