“Who do you belong to, princess?” he askedbefore turning out the light.
“You,” I whispered and then gave myself tothe darkness.
ChapterTwenty-Six
Routine
The following weekslugged on as I spent most of my time lying down on my stomach orsitting up perfectly straight. The pain in my back was so terribleitaffectedmy energy, mystrength, and my ability to walk. Darren’s sympathy was completelyabsent as he blamed me since I was the catalystforit all. He didn’t even offer meanypainkillersthistime.
As often as hecould, Darren refused to let me out of his sight. He worried Imight regress after his punishment, and he wanted to ensure itseffectiveness. And I suppose it was effective because I didn’t saya word to him unless he had spoken to me first.
Darren had theusual amount of business to take care of, but worked from home asoften as he could. When he was home, I spent my time watchingmovies in the theater or reading while he took care of business. Hewas planning some kind of acquisition based on the phone calls Ioverheard in my presence. He would usually lay my head down in hislap while he stroked my hair and read his documents. That was whenI would eventually fall asleep, and he didn’t seem to mind,probably because I was quiet for once.
Many timesthroughout the day, he would tend to my tattoos and examine themwith sparkling eyes as he admired the handiwork. He would reapplyointment over my skin on a daily basis, and Godhelpme if I ruined the tattooinany way, Darren hadsaid to me. I heeded his warning like my life depended on it, andit probably did.
Sunday night couldnot have come quick enough as I longed to finally be away from himand his overbearing presence. I needed a break from him,badly.
After dinner,Darren gave me a large blanket and told me he’d meet me out on thebeach for thesunsetin tenminutes. Laying the blanket down by the shore, I sat down andwatched the sky as the sun painted it with golds,pinks,and brightoranges; it was nice to finally have a singular moment to myself.Twenty minutes later, though, Darren still had not come down tomeet me, and I was beginning to wonder where hewas.
By the timenothing but a sliver was left in thesunset, I was startingto get cold as the ocean breeze began to pick up. I lookedbackaroundme and wonderedif I should go and look for him. I pulled the ends of the blanketaround my shoulders, huddledintoit, and continued to wait. Two minutes later, the littlehairs on the back of my neck stood up as I felt a hand on myshoulder and flinched up to find Darren standing behindme.
“You missed it,” I said lightly.
“I know. I’m sorry. I got held up,” he saidsincerely.
I stood up andkept the blanket over my shoulders as Darren took my hand and ledme back to the house. Looking down at the hand that held mine, Inoticed his knuckles were slightly bloodied and bruised, and Ibrought them up to my face to get a closerlook.
“Darren, what did you do?” I asked softly, looking up at him.But the glare on his face made me immediately regret it, and Iturned my eyes back to the ground. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean toquestion you.”
“Good girl,” he said darkly and continued up to thehouse.
When we got to thepatio, I shook the blanket of the sand it had accumulated andhanded it over to Darren as he held out his hand for it. He justtossed it over the railing and held the door of the house open forme. As we entered, I kept my head forward, but my eyes scanned forany possible signs of a struggle, however, there was none to beseen. I couldn’t help but be on high alert.
“Relax, Jaden,” Darren said noticing my old scanningtendencies as he led us to the stairs. “The only danger you need toworry about is me.”
Because that makes me feel so muchbetter.
After washing upand using the bathroom, I climbedintoDarren’s bed and laid down on my side. Myback still ached slightly from the week before, and I had made damnsure I avoided all mirrors so I wouldn’t be tempted to turn aroundand witness the damage Darren had done to me.
As Darren got inbehind me, his arm reached over and pulled me to his bare chest.Tucking me in tightly, I gasped as the force of him created a sharppain in my back.
“Please, Darren, not so tight,” I mumbled quickly and softlyinto the sheets hoping he would take pity on me. There was no way Icould sleep like that all night.
By the grace ofGod, he loosened his arm just enough for comfort and gently pressedhis warm chest into my back and I instantly melted against him. Theheat soothed my still tender muscles, and I released a sigh ofrelief as I began to relax and quickly fellasleep.
***
Another two weeksflew by and my time of reflection was well over. Darren had draineda good portion of my fight out of me after he whipped me forrefusing his tattoos, but it didn’t take long for the fire in me torage again. Now, I was just pissed.
Ever since Darrenhadhis name scribed into my skin,I was constantly angry and exhausted.Darren thought the tattoos would help me understand my place, butit only made me rebel more. I didn’t give a fuck about buildingtrust anymore. I wanted him to know what he did was wrong and thathe would suffer the consequencesfromme. He wantedmecompliant, but for thenext two weeks, I was anything but.
I was stillconfined to my room while Darren went to work; I had no one to talkto, nothing to do, and nowhere to go. I wanted so badly to finallyroam the house while he was away, but I knewwith my currentbehaviorthere was no waythat was happening—especially since I was still fighting him everychance I got now that we were officially doing things “hisway.”
I wanted to workout, but it seemed I was never afforded the chance since aproperworkoutrequired adecent meal before doing so, and I only had ten minutes before Iwas shunned back to my room until Darren came home and got me. Ifelt like calling Darren a liar for telling me I could train andthen taking away my opportunity to do so. Maybe he was stillpunishing me.
Most of the time,I would revert to stretchingand advanced yogauntil I got bored. Then I would read,listen tomusic,ordaydreamabout killing Darren with a rusty spoon. That thought usuallybrought me back to my positive side.
I would oftencommunicate with Darren through the songs I chose to download.Breaking Benjamin, Evanescence, Limp Bizkit, Linkin Park, and RageAgainst the Machine. The songs were all rage fueled and defiant,but he never commented on them. He approved them almost instantly.I didn’t knowwhy,though,since they only motivated me to be angrier. Maybe he liked it. Ididn’t know.
