Because neither do I.
But I want to.
Gods, I want to.
I press my forehead to the cold glass. My breath fogs the edge of the window.
What if I already lost her because I never really had her?
And that she was right?
What if this can’t work?
CHAPTER 16
NOVA
Iread the message.
Again.
It’s short. Just a few lines. No punctuation. No fluff. Just him.
You okay? I’m around. I’ll wait.
I stare at it until the words blur, until the comms screen times out and the glow fades into black glass. My reflection looks back at me—tired eyes, pulled-back hair, uniform crisp but hollow. I look like I’ve got it together. Like nothing rattles me.
It’s a lie.
I haven’t answered him in three days.
I tell myself it’s for the best. That distance is the only thing holding this mess together. That if I let even one thread unravel, the whole thing falls apart.
Still, when I close the message without replying, I feel like I’ve just snapped something inside me.
The hallway outside the comms room is mercifully empty. A few cadets drift past, eyes bleary, caffeine-fueled. None of them meet my gaze. That’s fine. I don’t have it in me to pretend I’m approachable.
The moment I step into my office, I bury myself in evaluations. Twelve flight logs, four personnel reports, a backlog of simulator analytics that could drown a less experienced officer.
It’s exactly the kind of noise I need.
Numbers don’t judge. Paperwork doesn’t ask why you’re ghosting the only person who’s ever looked at you like you were more than medals and directives. Ink and data don’t kiss the curve of your neck in the middle of the night and then fall apart in the daylight.
Still.
He’s everywhere.
In the way the simulator footage auto-queues to the last pilot profile I watched—his. In the flight patterns I review, noting a spike in aggression that lines up too perfectly with my silence. In the damn empty chair across from my desk that still holds the ghost of his cocky smirk.
I push it all aside and dive into debrief summaries.
Halfway through the fourth one, I hear them.
Voices.
Just outside the open office door.
“...saw him almost clip Yoris in that dive. What the hell was that?”
