I leave her to do her morning business in peace, and when she opens the door, I hand her a pair of towels. “I think I can figure out the shower,” she mutters, clutching the towels close, staring down at them while they cover half of her trembling body. I feel her fear and want more than anything to take it away. It’s a shame life doesn’t work like that.
“I think I’ll stay here just to be on the safe side.” I doubt she would try to shimmy through the bathroom window withnothing but a towel between her bare skin and the open air, but it’s the only reason I can come up with to watch her through the glass shower door. My bear is a demanding fucker when he feels like it. If I can’t have her, I have to at least watch her. Even if it’s torture, observing what I can never touch again.
She eyes the window, and glances at me with a frown, but she’s either smart enough or scared enough to keep her thoughts to herself. Once she sets the water temperature where she wants it, she steps into the stall and pours shower gel onto her palm while I stand with my back to the door, arms folded, fists clenched tight. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea, since all I can imagine doing is crashing through the glass and impaling her against the wall.
Careful, careful.This is no time for my resolve to break. Not even when she slips a hand between her thighs to wash her most private places. Desire unfurls, hot and fresh, giving me every excuse possible to take her. No one would have to know. It’s what fate demands. And what are our laws compared to the power of fate?
Something tells me no one would be understanding if that were my defense, so I settle for yearning, following the path of the suds as they roll over her skin. She turns her back to the showerhead and rinses her long, black hair, scrubbing her scalp, closing her eyes when the water runs over her face. I’m supposed to kill her or at least allow her to be killed. Who would want to destroy something so beautiful?
Once she’s finished, I have to quit being a pervert long enough to return to my room so I can find her something to wear. Obviously, everything I own will drown her tiny body, but I can’t have her walking around naked if there’s any hope of keeping my hands off her. By the time she’s wrapped in one towel with the other wrapped around her hair, I’ve pulled out a T-shirt and sweatpants. “You can roll them up,” I suggest,tossing them onto the bed. “I’ll fix something for breakfast.” She makes a sound that could be gratitude, almost melting into the wall when I walk past her. Like she’s afraid of even brief, casual contact. Why wouldn’t she be?
I don’t usually sit down to an actual breakfast. Coffee and maybe a slice of toast is usually my go-to. With my guest in mind, I scramble eggs and add cheese, then slice up a couple of oranges to have along with the toast that pops up almost on cue when she steps out of the bedroom, running the towel over her locks.
I haven’t felt this awkward around a girl since I was barely old enough to know what my dick was for. She’s tentative when she sits at the small, round table in the sun-drenched kitchen, separated from the living room by a waist-high counter. “Coffee?” I ask, pouring her a cup when she nods.
For a while, the only sound in the cottage is that of our silverware touching our plates. She breaks the silence after gulping down coffee, then staring into the mug. “Last night, you mentioned how you knew my pack’s alpha was part of my family.”
“Right.” Where is she going with this?
“He’s my brother, Declan. We’re very close. And by now, I’m sure the family must be worried. We usually have breakfast together. They’ll want to know where I am when I don’t show up at the table.”
I see where this is going. No doubt they’ll track her to the border and know she crossed it. Declan’s pack is large, strong. Considering our clan is shrinking by the year, there’s no way we could face them in a war and come out victorious. Not a chance.
“I should at least reach out to let them know I’m all right for now.” She sips her coffee slowly, eyeing me over the rim of the mug.
“I don’t think so. At least not right now.” When? I don’t know. Obviously, I’ll have to reach out to at least let Declan know there’s no choice in this. I’m not doing it out of spite. I’m not trying to start a war. Because as a fellow alpha, he knows the score. Sister or no sister.
She makes the sort of face that screams,“It’s your funeral,”before going back to her food. I’ve lost my appetite and can only pick at what’s left on my plate. No matter which way I turn, there’s a dead end in front of me.
Like the dead end sitting in front of me at the table now, who somehow manages to turn the simple act of eating into a ballet. She moves with such grace, though I know she feels the same awkward tension I do. I watch, mesmerized by the way she stabs at a forkful of egg before raising it to her mouth. Longing tightens my chest as she parts her lips and guides the fork inside. I have never envied a fork until this minute.
It’s a good thing my phone buzzes with a text, or I might have to sweep everything off the table with one arm before bending her over it. The message doesn’t do anything to ease my stress. It’s from Lucas.The wolf scent is strong along the border between our territory and theirs. They’ve tracked her here.
Great. I knew it was only a matter of time.
What if they try to get her back? She said they’re close. Would Declan risk his pack’s security and peace if it meant getting his sister back—or avenging her?
And does she have to poke her tongue out to swipe at the corner of her mouth the way she does? How am I supposed to think this through when I can’t help but watch her every move? It’s not possible. I need to get her out of my sight.
She’s barely finished cleaning her plate when I stand and take mine to the sink. “I have to go out. You’ll return to the bedroom now.”
I have my back to her, so there’s no way of seeing her reaction, but I hear her soft grunt. Is she disappointed? That makes two of us. I can’t bring myself to feel sorry for her when she’s the reason we are in this predicament.
I should meet with Lucas to talk this out, but I wouldn’t know what to say. I doubt he could give me any answers I’d want to hear, either. Once she’s safely locked in the bedroom, I take off my pajamas and step out into a cool, brilliant morning that I wish was cloudy and damp to match my mood. It’s like nature itself is laughing at me.
Once I shift into my bear, everything slides into sharper focus. My bear doesn’t waffle back and forth. My bear sees things in black and white. Tara is my mate. Everything else comes second to that.
If only that were true. I walk to the edge of my property, intending to get lost in the woods for a while, to turn my energy toward something other than keeping my hands off the girl locked in my room.
Yet when I lift my paw to take the first step into the tree line, I hesitate. Should I stray that far from my mate? Is she safe back there? I doubt she could escape... But could someone come in and put an end to my misery before I come back? It’s not smart to leave her alone and wander too far from the cottage.
My frustrated growl pierces the air and makes the birds in the trees take flight. She might as well be shackled to me. I can’t escape her.
But that doesn’t mean I can let one of my clan kill her. I have to protect her, even if it means causing friction among us. That’s better than a war that could wipe us out.
The way it looks now, I’ll be trapped in this misery for the rest of my life. And all I can do is angrily pace my property line, too worried about her to do more than that.
Chapter 5
