“Why the hell would they fire you?”
“I saw this horrible little rich girl stuff a scarf in her bag, and when I confronted her, she created a huge scene. She called me a liar and acted totally offended, and my boss took her side over mine. All he had to do was ask to check her bag. He would have seen the stolen scarf, but because this girl comes from a wealthy family, god forbid he’d insult her. Instead, he fired me on the spot, and this girl looked so smug. Oh, and obviously she was shoplifting for the thrill of it, since she could have bought out the entire shop with her daddy’s platinum card.”
“I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
“It was humiliating, and it made me feel worthless. I’d worked there almost a year, but that didn’t matter.Ididn’t matter. He treated me like I was disposable, and this little brat got a good laugh out of it.”
Ryder was outraged. “Fuck the guy at the internship and everyone at the boutique! They don’t deserve you.”
“Thanks for saying that, but I feel like such a failure. Not just because of those things, either. I went to my studio on campus after I left the boutique. I thought maybe I could channel my hurt and anger into something productive and come up with some ideas for a new collection. Instead, I just sat there staring at a blank page in my sketchbook for a few hours, before finally giving up and heading home.”
I sighed and added, “As the cherry on top of this shit sundae, some guy grabbed my ass on the bus. He mistook me for a girl. When I turned around and he saw I was a guy, he acted alloffended. Like I was the one who’d done something wrong, not him.”
“What a fucking asshole.” Ryder’s voice was practically a growl.
I curled up in a ball again as the tears started back up. “It was too much for one day. I was already feeling worthless and talentless, and like I’m totally failing. Then all of that happened.” I took a shaky breath and muttered, “I hate the fact that I’m crying. Why can’t I stop?”
“It’s okay. You need to let it out.”
“No. I need to be stronger than this.” I felt so weak and broken. I absolutely hated feeling like that.
Ryder’s voice was so soft when he said, “I wish I was there with you.”
“I’d give anything for that,” I whispered. “It would feel so good to be in your arms.”
Even though that was absolutely true, I felt guilty for saying it out loud. I never wanted him to feel bad about the fact that his life was half a continent away.
I pulled my blanket up like a hood and concentrated on calming myself down. After a moment, Ryder asked, “Did you have dinner tonight, baby?” I shook my head, and he asked, “Have you eaten anything today?”
“I had some coffee this morning,” I muttered. “I can’t remember after that.”
“If I have some food delivered to your house, will you eat it?”
“Not tonight. My stomach’s in knots. I just want to go to sleep and put this day out of its misery.”
“What’s on your schedule for tomorrow?”
“Nothing, now. I used to have my internship every Wednesday, followed by the closing shift at the boutique. Since my schedule is suddenly wide open, maybe I’ll stay in mypajamas all day and do schoolwork. I should look at it as a positive. It’s rare to have a whole day to myself.”
“I hope you can get some rest.” Ryder was watching me with worry in his eyes, and after a pause he asked, “Are you going to be okay financially without that job? If not, I’m happy to help you out.”
“That’s so sweet, but I’ll be fine. Tuition was my biggest expense. I don’t have to worry about that anymore since this is my last semester, and the rest of my expenses are pretty minimal. With what I have left in savings and my job at the department store, I have enough to live on until I graduate and land a full-time job.”
“Okay. But if anything changes, my offer still stands.”
I closed my eyes and murmured, “You’re such a wonderful man, Ryder. I’ll never take your money, but you’re so kind to offer.”
I didn’t remember falling asleep, but the video feed was disconnected when I woke up. No wonder, since I’d slept until almost eleven. Ryder would have been up for hours, doing his morning chores.
He’d sent me a text hours earlier, which said:Good morning, baby. I hope you’re feeling better today.
There was also a message from Vee:Hey buddy, I wanted to see how you’re doing. Check in when you can.
I doubted Vee had heard me crying from downstairs, but I must have been a hot mess when I walked in the door last night. I sent replies and told both of them I was fine, but that wasn’t true. I was still out of sorts, and after crying that hard, my head was pounding.
After stopping off in the bathroom and taking a shower, I put my pajamas back on and went downstairs for some coffee. The house was so still that I knew right away no one else was home. That was probably a good thing. I wasn’t feeling very social.
I brewed a fresh pot of coffee and filled my largest insulated mug, grabbed a protein bar from my neglected shelf in the pantry, and went back to bed with my phone. My plan was to wander around the internet for a while to see if anything might spark an idea for a new collection, or just spark my creativity in general.
