“No. I think I’d feel kind of hemmed in if I lived here, but I guess you get used to it.” That was about what I’d expected him to say.
I asked our driver to drop us off on the far side of my campus. It was filled with artwork done by former students, so I led Ryder on a meandering walk and showed him my favorite pieces. He snapped a few selfies of the two of us along the way,and I said, “Those will probably end up as your only souvenir of your visit to San Francisco. I still wish you’d let me show you some of the sights.”
“I’m seein’ all kinds of cool stuff, including this, which really speaks to me.” He gestured at a nearby sculpture. It was about twelve feet high, and it looked like a huge fork supported by a few strands of spaghetti.
When we reached my studio, he went straight to my collection. “Oh wow,” he murmured, “these are gorgeous. I’ve seen them on our video calls, but it’s different seeing them in person. I missed all these pretty details.” He indicated an intricate fold on a skirt.
“Thanks.”
“Tell me again why you aren’t excited about showing this collection.”
“Because it’s not original, on-trend, or particularly creative.”
“The fact that it’s beautiful has to count for something, though.”
I shrugged. “Not really. It’s a highly competitive field. In June, a whole new crop of aspiring designers are graduating and hitting the job market. All of us know how to make a pretty dress. I need a collection that’ll make people sit up and take notice, and this won’t cut it.”
“But you can see what’s good about it, can’t you?”
I stepped back and took a hard look at the six outfits. The colors were black, white, and cream with a few pops of red, and the lines were clean and restrained. As Ryder admired another piece with an unusual fold, I said, “It’s well-constructed, and I like the fact that it reflects part of my heritage. I learned origami when I was a kid, and I wanted that to be my inspiration.”
“That’s really cool.”
“It’s been done, though. Two other students in my class are planning to show stuff that’s similar to this.”
“If you don’t use these clothes for the fashion show, will all this effort go to waste?”
“No. I’ll still photograph these pieces and include them in my portfolio. It’s not that I think they’re bad. They’re just not unique enough for this really important show.”
He turned to me and said, “Since you’re sold on making a new collection, can I see what you have so far?”
We sat at my drawing table, and I showed him a few sketches with the disclaimer, “I don’t like any of these. I want something that’s going to excite and inspire me, and these just don’t.”
“What would you do next, if I wasn’t here?”
I turned to an empty page in my sketchbook. “I guess I’d try to start drawing and hope I was struck by inspiration.”
“But that approach hasn’t been working, right?”
“Right.”
“Instead of that, want to go for a walk with me? It might help you get a fresh perspective, especially if you’re with someone who’s seeing the city for the first time.” I quickly agreed, mostly because I didn’t want Ryder to be bored senseless while I stared at a blank page.
After I turned off the lights again and locked the studio, we picked a direction at random and started walking. It was a gorgeous day, with a cloudless sky and a gentle breeze, and being outside definitely felt good.
As we wound our way through the city, I kept pulling out my phone to snap photos of things that made me happy—a mural of Mexicanfolkloricodancers in their colorful dresses, a huge, hot pink bougainvillea, a bird on a cable. And of course, I took pictures of Ryder, and of the two of us together.
It was wonderful to have him by my side, holding my hand. I felt myself starting to relax and actually living in the moment, instead of worrying about my to-do list, school, graduation, and whatever came next.
At one point, I stopped walking, pulled him to me, and kissed him with everything I had. He was smiling and slightly flushed when we finally broke apart, and he asked, “What brought that on? Not that I’m complaining. Feel free to turn my knees to jelly any time you want.”
“I did it because I could, because you’re right here, and not seventeen hundred miles away.” He drew me into a hug, and I whispered, “I’m so grateful you came to see me, Ryder. If I thanked you a million times, it wouldn’t be enough.”
We walked for hours, eventually ending up back home. I poured us some iced tea, and when we returned to the backyard, he pulled me onto his lap. I hadn’t spent much time out here over the last two years. I was always in too much of a hurry, but this little patch of flowers and trees and sunlight was pretty great.
As we watched a dragonfly with iridescent wings land on a peony, I told him, “I have a brand-new appreciation for nature since I visited you at the ranch. I find myself wanting to be outside all the time, and I’m seeing so much beauty all around me. I wish I could express that in a collection.”
“Why can’t you?”
