“You’re going today?”
“Yeah, as long as I can find a last-minute flight.”
Vee asked, “Are you planning to fly back tomorrow?”
“No. I’ll stay as long as Ryder needs me.”
“But the fashion show is Monday. You can’t miss that.”
“Right now, Ryder is my top priority.”
“And are you two finally going to have the talk?”
“What talk is that, exactly?”
Vee shot me an exasperated look. “You know. The one where you finally tell him you’re madly in love with him, and you two figure out how you can be together.”
“I was planning to have that conversation with him when I visited next week. But I’m not sure this will be the right time, since he’s drugged up and in the hospital.”
“Do it anyway, Hal. Then do it again when he’s not hopped up on painkillers, and again if he still doesn’t get the message. He needs to know how you feel about him.”
“Why now?”
“He probably suggested a break because he thinks it’s too much to ask you for help,” Vee said. “But if he knows you love him and you’re in it for the long haul, that might change everything.”
“Oh man, I bet you’re right. The doctor must have told him it would be six months until he’s fully recovered, and he doesn’t want to be a burden.”
“Exactly. On top of that, he’s probably worried about derailing your career. We all know you’ve been working like a man possessed for the last two years to finish your degree and land a killer job, and that your big break’s probably going to happen as a result of that fashion show.”
“But he’s so much more important to me than any job! Doesn’t he know that?”
Vee held my gaze steadily as he drove his point home. “No, because you haven’t told him how you feel.”
Suddenly, that conversation I’d been putting off with Ryder felt incredibly urgent. I’d always assumed he must know how I felt, because he saw it in my actions. But maybe he had no idea. Maybe he thought he had to face a long recovery alone, because he didn’t realize what he meant to me. He must be so scared.
I pulled my phone from my pocket and accessed the airline’s app. “I need to see about moving up the flight that’s booked for later in the week. I also need to pack a bag, and call the department store to quit my job, and see if any of my friends with cars are available to give me a ride to the airport.”
Vee got up and said, like the true friend he was, “Tell me how I can help.”
It turned out the earliest flight available was a red eye with two layovers. By the time I got to the hospital on Sunday morning, Ryder was already in surgery. I ended up pacing around the waiting room for a few hours, until a nurse finally told me I could see him.
Ryder was asleep, or possibly still under anesthesia, when I got to his room. A lump formed in my throat as I stood at his bedside and gently brushed his hair back. Normally, he was a force of nature, radiating energy and vitality. Now he looked pale and vulnerable. I wasn’t used to seeing him like that, and it made my heart hurt.
I was stroking his hair a few minutes later when his eyelids fluttered. It took him a while to wake up. Finally, his eyes focused on me, and he whispered, “Hal?”
“I’m right here, sweetheart.”
He murmured, “You’re my favorite dream,” and drifted off again.
Over the next few hours, his teammates came and went. The room filled with floral arrangements and balloons instructing him to get well soon. Nurses made their rounds, checking monitors and replacing IV bags as they drained.
When the doctor came by to check on him and asked who I was, I introduced myself as Ryder’s partner. I didn’t know what the hospital’s rules were regarding boyfriends versus spouses, but I hoped that was intentionally vague enough to allow me to stay with him past visiting hours.
I asked how the surgery had gone, and she told me the surgeon was able to repair the hip with plates and screws, as opposed to needing a total hip replacement. I didn’t know if that was meant to be good news.
“He has a long recovery ahead of him,” she said. “As his partner, he’ll be relying on you heavily, especially these first few weeks.”
I nodded and told her, “I’ll be right by his side throughout all of it.”
