But now wasn’t the time to feel sorry for myself. I’d made a promise to Kit to take him places and show him things he’d only dreamed of. And I was going to deliver on that promise, even if it was the last thing I ever did.
6
Kit
The entire evening was a whirlwind. Over the course of three hours, I found myself out of a job, packing some bags, and taking off on a spontaneous road trip with Devon.
Our housemates had been almost as surprised as I was by this turn of events, especially when I told them I didn’t know exactly when we’d be back. But Devon seemed completely confident about all of this. Then again, he also brought along every single thing he owned. That seemed to suggest he didn’t expect to return here at the end of the trip. Maybe he thought the curse was going to take him out before that could happen.
Despite that, he was all smiles as we got underway. After one of our housemates drove us to a rental company, we picked up our online reservation—a cute, royal blue camper van. It had a compact kitchenette, and a table and bench seating that converted to a full-size bed somehow. I thought it was very cozy, and that it would have made a wonderful place to live, back when I was homeless.
By eight p.m. we were on the move, heading south on the one-oh-one. We’d brought along a bunch of blankets andpillows, and I wrapped myself up in a fuzzy lavender blanket like a burrito—not because I was cold, but because it was comforting.
I was excited about seeing my dad, and confident we were going to make that happen. But at this point, the rest of the trip felt hypothetical. That was why I decided to wait before messaging Hal and letting him know I was coming for a visit. There was no reason to get his hopes up, only to call back later and tell him it wasn’t happening after all.
Not that I wanted to be negative. Devon was being wonderfully kind and generous, and he’d presented me with an incredible opportunity to experience something I’d only dreamed of. I really was grateful.
It was just that all of this had happened so fast that it was overwhelming, and it triggered my anxiety. That in turn activated the part of my brain that was used to disappointment, which kept telling me this was too good to be true.
Devon could tell I was anxious, which sent him into caretaker mode. After a while, we took a break for dinner at a roadside café, and he made sure I ate. As we returned to the van, he took my hand and said, “I know this trip is way outside your comfort zone, but I’ve got you Kit, I promise. I’m going to take good care of you.”
I grabbed him in a hug, and he held me tightly. “Maybe it was a bad idea to start our trip tonight, before you could process any of this,” he said. “I was just worried you’d talk yourself out of it if we didn’t leave right away. Then later on, you might have regretted missing out on a wonderful experience.”
“You’re right that I probably would have overthought it and backed out, then regretted it later.”
“Do you want to go home? If so, it’s absolutely no problem to head back to San Francisco.”
The fact that he understood what I was going through and totally supported my decisions meant a lot. It had felt like all of this was out of my control, but now I saw that it really wasn’t.
That revelation was reassuring. So was this moment Devon and I were having. I felt good with him. He made me feel cared for, and safe. This was going to be okay, because I was with him, and he’d make sure of it.
“No, I want this,” I said. “I really do. There are just a lot of unknowns, and it happened so fast, which threw me off. But I’m sure I’ll get my nervousness under control soon.”
“As far as tonight goes, I’m planning to stop again in about three hours, so we can spend the night at a cute motel I stayed at when I did that west coast road trip. Does that sound good?”
“It sounds great.” I leaned back a little, so I could see his face. “I’ve been so busy freaking out that I think I forgot to say thank you, Devon. I really, truly appreciate what you’re doing for me.”
He gently touched my cheek and said, “I’m doing this for both of us. It means everything to me to get to share this with you.”
At about two a.m., I woke with a start. The van was parked, and Devon was standing beside me with the passenger door open. As I looked around and tried to get my bearings, he said, “We’re here.”
“Where’s here?”
“We’re at that motel I mentioned, which is about ten miles north of Santa Barbara. We’re all checked in.”
“The desk clerk was awake at this hour?”
“I called ahead. The owners remembered me from when I was here before. They charged the card I had on file and left akey for us.” I wasn’t surprised that they remembered him, since he made friends wherever he went. “If you need a minute?—”
“No, I’m awake.”
I tumbled out of the van, and as he locked up behind me, I noticed ours was the only vehicle in the parking lot. I also discovered he’d already unloaded his duffle bag, backpack, and the suitcase I’d borrowed from JoJo.
We gathered our things, and I took his hand as I dragged the shiny red suitcase behind me on its little wheels. When I stepped through a gate he held open for me, I whispered, “Oh, wow.”
The midcentury-modern motel was a single story with maybe fifteen rooms, and it was built around a lush, tropical courtyard. The planting beds were softly lit, and the golden glow made it feel like I’d stepped into a dream.
Devon asked, “Do you like it?”
