“When did he kick you out?”
“Yesterday. I spent last night in a hotel, and when I came back for my things in the morning, he yelled at me and slammedthe door in my face. That was when I realized I’d have to break in if I wanted my stuff back.”
“How long do you need to get in again and grab your backpack?”
“The lock took me about five minutes last time, but now that I’ve had some practice I bet I can open it in under a minute.”
“I can keep him talking for a few minutes. I just need an excuse to knock on his door.”
I pulled my phone from my pocket, and after clicking through to Craigslist, I showed Kit the screen. “His ad for a roommate is up again. Maybe you could call and ask to see the apartment.”
“Good idea.”
As he pulled his phone from the pocket of his pale blue cardigan, I had second thoughts. “You don’t have to help me, though. This guy’s not exactly rational, and downright scary when you factor in the medieval weaponry. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“How would I get hurt? I’m just going to go see the apartment, keep him talking for a few minutes, tell him I’ll think about it, and leave. He’ll probably be on his best behavior, because he’ll be trying to get me to move in. When you went to see the apartment for the first time, he seemed fine, right?”
“Yeah. I just thought the swords and the squirrel meant he was eccentric. I had no idea he was a creep at that point.”
“When did you figure it out?”
“Not until last night, when he got me drunk and tried to force himself on me. As soon as I shot him down, he became irrationally angry. He grabbed my key off the table by the door and told me to get out. I was more than happy to go. The next morning when I came back for my stuff, he told me he was keeping it and my security deposit to teach me a lesson. He said it was what a tease like me deserved.”
Kit seemed horrified. “Gross.”
“I know.”
“Did you sign a lease? Maybe you can take him to small claims court for the deposit.”
“No. It was a verbal agreement to rent the room week-to-week, and I paid cash for the deposit.”
He sat up straighter, with a determined look in his eyes. “I don’t know what to do about the rest of it, but we won’t let him get away with stealing your stuff. Show me that apartment listing again.”
One short phone call later, he had an appointment with the creep. “He wants me to come by at seven,” Kit said. “What should we do until then?”
“This.” I reached for the margarita pitcher and topped off our glasses.
A few hours later, we were back in the alley. I reminded Kit, “If you feel unsafe in any way, get out of there. You’re way more important than my stuff.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. Give me a few minutes before you make your move. After he shows me around the apartment, I’ll get him talking in the living room. That’ll be your chance to climb in the bedroom window.”
“Okay. Thanks for doing this, Kit.”
He flashed me a smile and said, “I’m happy to help.” I watched as he jogged out of the alley, and then I began to pace. I was so nervous for him that I felt jittery.
Three or four minutes later, I climbed onto the dumpster, grasped the fire escape’s railing, and pulled myself up with a grunt. That wore me out, so I leaned against the side ofthe building and caught my breath for a few moments before climbing up.
As I reached the second story, I heard muffled voices above me and paused. The creep was showing him the room for rent, and Kit was loudly asking questions, probably so I’d know they were there. I couldn’t help but grin. He was about as subtle as a fart in church, but I appreciated the effort.
After a minute, the voices faded as they left the room, and I climbed onto the third floor landing. When I got a look at the window of my former bedroom, I discovered the creep had wedged a thick dowel between the frame and the sash, to prevent it from sliding open.
There was another window though, maybe five feet beyond the edge of the fire escape’s platform. Since that seemed to be my only option, I climbed over the railing, held on with one hand, and stretched my leg out.
I managed to get my toes onto the windowsill, and then I made the mistake of looking down. It was only three stories, but the drop looked treacherous, especially because I was slightly tipsy.
Oh man, was this how I died? Had the last twenty-nine years led up to getting squashed beside some dumpsters? That was such an undignified way to go.
I’d come this far though, and I didn’t want my new friend Kit to have to deal with that creep for nothing. I pushed off from the fire escape and hurled myself at my target.
