“I’m not.”
The two words seem to shatter something in her. Her knees buckle slightly, and I release one of her wrists so she can steadyherself against the wall. She stares at the mark on my shoulder like it’s a death sentence, her breathing coming faster, shallower.
“What have I done?” She sounds so devastated, it makes my chest tighten. Tears begin to well in her eyes, eventually spilling over. “Oh god, what have I done?”
The sight of those tears hits me hard. Regret crashes over me, sudden and overwhelming.
“Selene, I’m sorry.” I release her other wrist immediately and take a step back. “I didn’t mean to—”
But she’s already sinking to the ground, her back sliding down the wall until she’s sitting with her knees pulled up, her face buried in her hands. Her shoulders shake with silent sobs, and the mate bond twists like a knife in my chest.
I kneel beside her, all my earlier satisfaction completely gone. “Hey. We’re fated mates. This is how it’s supposed to work.”
“I don’t want to be tied to someone who doesn’t want me,” she chokes out, her voice muffled by her hands but no less wrecked. “I can’t do this. I can’t.”
The words cut me deeper than any of her claws could have. Does she think I’m upset about being bound to her? That last night only happened because of Zane?
“Why do you think I don’t want you?” The question comes out much quieter than my usual tone.
She drops her hands, staring at me with red-rimmed eyes that hold nothing but disbelief. “Are you for real?” She looks at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You said so yourself!”
I run a hand through my hair, guilty as charged. “Selene—”
“Multiple times!” Her voice cracks with emotion. “You made it very clear what you thought of me. How weak I was. How I wasn’t worthy of standing beside you.”
The reminder of my own cruelty makes me wince. I sigh, the sound heavy with regret. “I didn’t mean any of those things. In the forest, when you were with that boy, Darren—I was jealous. I said those things because I was angryand stupid.”
Tears still streaming down her face, she stares at me, clearly not convinced.
“But you wouldn’t survive in my family,” I continue, and she flinches. “That’s why I knew we weren’t a good match. My family is intense, domineering. They’d eat you alive.”
“That’s not helping.” Her voice is small, anxious. She wraps her arms around herself, looking smaller than I’ve ever seen her. “There has to be a way out of this. A way to break the bond. We can’t—I can’t be stuck like this.”
Jealousy flares hot and vicious in my chest. “You love him, is that it?” My voice drops to a dangerous level. “You prefer Zane over me? Your ‘other’ fated mate?”
“YES!” The word explodes from her, loud enough to echo off the walls. “Yes, I prefer him! Because he treats me like I matter! Like I’m not just some speck of dust that got caught in his orbit by mistake!”
I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut. I rock back on my heels, staring at her as the full weight of what I’ve done crashes over me. All those months of pushing her away, of making her feel worthless, of crushing every bit of hope she might have had about our bond. Why? Because I was afraid? Because I convinced myself she wasn’t strong enough?
My own fated mate hates me. And I have no one to blame but myself.
“Selene—” I start, but I don’t know how to finish. What can I possibly say that will fix this? That will undo months of cruelty and rejection?
She pushes herself to her feet, wiping at her face with the back of her hand. “I have to go.”
“Wait—”
“No.” She steps back when I reach for her, her expression shuttering. “I need to think. I need to figure out how to break this bond, because I can’t—” Her voice cracks again. “I can’t be tied to someone who spent months making me feel like I was nothing.”
She turns and walks away, her shoulders rigid, her steps quick. Iwatch her go, wanting desperately to follow her, to make her understand. But understand what? That I’m sorry? That I was wrong?
Apologizing won’t undo the damage I’ve done.
I stay kneeling on the ground long after she has disappeared, the mate bond aching in my chest like an open wound.
My wolf whines, confused and hurt by our mate’s rejection. He doesn’t understand why she won’t accept us, why she pulls away instead of drawing closer.
But I understand. I understand perfectly.
