I can see he’s about to adjourn the meeting when Grant speaks up. “I got somethin’. Shane and I were going through Gretta’s stuff earlier and we were readin’ her journal. You older guys remember that prospect we had back then? The one who up and quit and left town without ever telling us the fuck why? I think my sister might have had something to do with it.”
Pa, Wyatt, Jackson, and Erik all mumble something about vaguely remembering him.
Rory interrupts their recollections. “Not that we don’t all love a trip down memory lane, but why does this need to be discussed in church?”
I decide to jump into the discussion since it’s about me after all.
“’Cause it looks like that guy is my father. Grant also thinks that the guy might have a connection to Mike and Ben.” I can see both their eyebrows go up in surprise.
Mike asks the question that probably the whole table wants to know.
“How the fuck do we have anything to do with a former prospect of yours from like thirty years ago?”
Grant answers him, “’Cause last I remember, he had become a member of your old club. You remember a member whose real name was Tripp?” I can see the second Grant says his name that both Ben and Mike’s eyes get big. I can’t control my next question.
“You did know him. Is he still alive? What kind of man was or is he? Do you think he knew about me?”
Mike stops my rapid-fire questions by putting his hand up.
“Yeah, he’s still alive. He was forcibly retired from the club around the same time we were. He’s deadly when needed, but he babysat Jane on occasion when she was little if that tells you anything about the man he is,” Ben adds to the conversation. He’s sounding like a decent guy.
“I wonder if your mom is why he’s not taken us up on our offer to come visit. Last time I talked to him, he said this place had a lot of living ghosts for him. I had no idea what he meant, but he’s the kind of guy that when he wants to share, he will and not a minute sooner.”
“Do you think he’d want to know about me or talk to me?” I feel like I’m back to being that ten-year-old, hoping he wants to know me.
Mike looks at me and something passes through his mind.
“I dunno, brother, but give Ben and I a few days to feel him out and talk to him about shit. We’ll let you know as soon as we know something.”
Jon must be getting hangry.
“That a good enough answer for now, Shane? I dunno know about you, but I can smell the food and I’m ready to eat. Anybody have anything else?”
No one says anything.
“Alright, let’s go join the rest of the family and eat. I’m fucking starvin’.” Most of the club brothers leave the room. I stay sitting, still trying to absorb everything. It only makes me wish even more that Mom was still around so I could ask her so many questions. The biggest one at the moment is why. Why did she not put his name or my stepdad’s name on the birth certificate? Why did I get her last name? Why did she not tell him about me? Because it looks like from the evidence I’ve seen, that’s exactly what she did.
I must be deep in thought cause a chair scraping next to me pulls me from my thoughts. I look up from my hands and see Ben sitting next to me. I look over at him and wait for him to say whatever it is he’s thinking. I may not know him as well as some of my other brothers, but I do know he’s like Pa and that you can’t rush him to say what’s on his mind. But when he does speak, it’s usually worth listening to.
“Mike and I both know Tripp, but he and I were closer. He didn’t mention his past much, but I can tell you right now, if he knew about you, you’d have known him. He’s a stand-up guy. Last time I talked to him, he was down near the Rogue River area. I’m thinking of taking a ride down there in the next few days and I’ll talk to him. I think this kind of shit should be talked about in person. I’ll keep you in the loop and let you know what I find out. I have a feeling he’s gonna be angry. Not at you, but your mom.”
“Yeah, well, I really wish I would’ve known before she passed ’cause I would have asked her a lot of questions. I don’t hold anything against him ’cause from everything I read, he had no idea. I can’t imagine that. I would be heartbroken and on the warpath if Kierstie hadn’t told me about our baby.”
Ben nods and reminds me he’ll keep me in the loop. He stands up and rests a hand on my shoulder.
“Let’s get out there and get some food before those jackasses eat it all.”
Kierstie
I see most of the guys come out of church, but Shane’s not with them. I found a comfortable chair when we got here and to be honest, I don’t think I can get out of it on my own. I watch most of the brothers go into the room next to the kitchen which is where we always set up the buffet when the weather doesn’t let us be outside. Let’s be honest, that’s a good chunk of the year here in the PNW. I see everyone coming out with plates and sitting at the tables, digging into their food. I’m in the middle of trying to psych myself up to try and get out of the chair when I see Jane walk into the room with a plate. She stops and looks at me, slightly tilting her head to the side, assessing my current situation. I can tell the moment that everything clicks in her head, and her fiery side is about to be unleashed. Thank fuck not at me.
“What in the fuck is going on here? I know Ma raised all of you better than this. Bunch of heathens in this place tonight.” She starts her waddle-walk over to me. Does she think she’s gonna be able to help me up? That won’t end well. Juan walks out of the kitchen. He must’ve heard Jane and now her continued mumbling.
“Fucking oblivious men here tonight. The lot of them, not one…” She keeps mumbling, but I can’t make out what she’s saying.
“Baby, what’s going on? Do you need something?” Jane spins around to face Juan faster than I think she could currently move.
“What I need is for just one of the men in this building to take their heads out of their asses and pay attention to things around them!” My dear brother looks like a cross between confused and a deer in the headlights.
