In this moment, I muster up more courage than I think I really have. “No, I’m not ready to try. I’m ready tobewith you. I don’t need to question it. If you don’t—” Grant stops my rambling by kissing me. Kissing me with more emotion than I ever thought I could feel in a single kiss. I can’t help the moan that comes out of me.
Grant
I couldn’t wait to kiss him any longer. Hearing him say he was ready and seeing in his eyes he was being honest, there was still a hint of trepidation, but that’s him. Hearing the moans coming from him has me hard within seconds. Fuck me, he’s got every bit of me turned on, and it’s only been a few seconds. Knowing I need to make sure we’re on the same page, I break the kiss but lean my forehead to touch his, needing to be connected to him as much as possible.
“Wow. I mean, I know I haven’t been kissed in decades, but that...” I can’t help but chuckle at his words. I move my head back so I can look at him.
“I may have kissed someone more recently, but that definitely was something special.” Seeing a blush appear on Erik’s cheeks turns me on even more.
I take a second because as much as I want to drag him straight to the bedroom, this ain’t gonna be just a quick thing, and I need to take care of him. I know he’s still getting over that stomach shit he’s been fighting. I squeeze his neck. “Let’s get some dinner and talk, one of those topics being where you’re sleeping tonight.” I swear he gives out a little huff and a pout.Fuck me. Maybe he really is the unicorn I’ve been missing all these years.
Not wanting to break contact with him, I move my hand from his neck to hold his hand. “I could order something for us, or I can whip up some pasta. What do you say?” He chews on his lip, and I can tell he’s deep in thought. I reach up to free his lip, knowing he’s gonna draw blood if he doesn’t stop.
“It’s not a hard question. Do you want pasta or takeout?” He sighs again. He looks at me with a questioning look. “What if what I want is to not have to decide? Honestly, I don’t care. I don’t think I’m up to making another decision tonight.”
I study him for a moment. “If you felt like this before, would you have eaten at all?”
He actually looks shy for a moment. “I probably would have just had a beer or two and called it a night. Between my stomach issues and dealing with all this shit, including Celeste blowing up my phone today, thinking about food is the last thing on my mind.”
I look at him and all I want to do is take his worries away and make him de-stress a bit. “First, I’m going to order us somefood, then we’re gonna sit, eat, watch a game, and talk about everything going on in your head. Then we’re gonna go to bed together ‘cause I can’t imagine not touching you all night.” The grin that he gives me back tells me this is exactly what he needs, and giving him that relaxes something inside of me that hasn’t felt settled in more years than I care to admit. His blue-gray eyes show a relief that I can rarely ever remember seeing. I lean forward and give him another kiss just ‘cause I can. “You go find a game on. I’ll order and grab the beer.” He nods and lets go of my hand to go into the living room. I pull up the delivery app and order from the local steakhouse, knowing they have his favorite au gratin potatoes. I get the food order in and grab the beers. When I walk into the living room, seeing him leaning back on the couch and his phone tossed onto the coffee table, I can’t help but hope he feels this is home for good. I know I shouldn’t get ahead of myself, but you would too if you’d been hoping for this for more than half your life.
I sit on the couch beside Erik and pull him close, leaving my arm around him. “Now tell me what the fuck is Celeste doing blowing up your phone? Is it ‘cause she was served a few days ago?”
He sighs again but settles more into my arms before he answers me. “Yeah. She’s all pissed off. She’s mad that I filed. She’s mad that I’m willing to give up the house but not pay her a shit ton of alimony on top of it. She’s mad that the boys helped me and didn’t tell her. She’s mad they both said the divorce is a goodthing. She’s mad she doesn’t have access to all my money beyond what is in the shared account. She’s also mad that I visited four of the best divorce lawyers in town and then got the top one, so she can’t hire any of the four. I have Max’s advice to thank for that one. Reminds me. I need to get him something really good for that tidbit of advice.” He pauses to take a sip of beer. How have I forgotten just how sexy his neck is when he does that? Makes me want to lick his Adam’s apple.Focus, Grant.“She wants me to come over for dinner this weekend to discuss things in person.”
The fuck? I think not. “You aren’t thinking of going, are you?” I can feel him shrug his shoulders.
“I won’t change my decision at all, but I’m kinda curious what the fuck she’s going to say to try to get me to change my mind. She doesn’t have the upper hand she thinks she’s had all these years. At this point, the boys are grown, and I figure they’ll find out their dad is gay sometime.”
Damn straight they will if I have anything to do with it.
Erik
I swear I could feel him tense the moment I brought up Celeste wanting to meet for dinner. When I mentioned I wasn’t going to change my mind but was curious about what she would say, I swear the man growled. Like the growl that’s described in thoseromance books that I may or may not have started reading in the last few years. Hey now, there are some seriously steamy MM books that have great plots, and I have nieces who talk loudly about authors they love. But back to the matter at hand. I twist slightly so I can see Grant’s face. “Did you seriously just growl?”
He glares at me, though I can tell he’s not pissed at me. “She’s had years to talk to you face-to-face and hasn’t. I think you should check with your lawyer. I doubt he’ll want you to speak to her without him present.”
Fair point. “I’ll ask him. He’s not a fan of hers, by the way, and not just because I’m a paying client. I think his mother might have played dirty when she divorced his dad when he was a kid because he was plenty eager to take my case. During our meetings, he’s made a few comments under his breath about how Celeste reminds him of his mom.”
He squeezes me slightly. “Good. He needs to make sure you get a clean break and don’t have to pay her an arm and a leg. I mean, it’s not ‘cause you need to worry about money, but ‘cause Celeste doesn’t fucking deserve one more penny from you. I still think you’re being too nice by giving her the house.”
I sigh again. “I know, but I’ve got enough saved to be alright, and I don’t want the house. It’s always been her dream. I may not have ever really loved her, but she did have Leif and Jeremiah, and for that alone, she can have the fucking house.”
The doorbell rings, interrupting our conversation, though I’m happy to drop the topic. Grant gets up and goes to the door to get our food. I get up and go to the kitchen to get us each another beer and silverware. Time for dinner.
Grant
I could feel his body relax next to me as we ate. The need to help him always feel this way is so strong. I’ve never had the wave of possessiveness before like I did when he mentioned possibly having dinner with Celeste. I instantly thought that she kept him miserable for all these years, and he’s gonna be mine now. I’m gonna call the whole no-backsies thing the boys used to call out. What? I never said I was mature about it.
We finish eating, and I take the leftovers and empty bottles to the kitchen to put things away. I take a second to give myself a talking-to. I don’t want to rush him. I mean fuck, he hasn’t had sex in…well, shit, Jeremiah’s almost twenty-four, so…wow. Yeah, it’s a fucking long time. I’m just gonna have to try to read his face and cues so I don’t overwhelm him. I know he’ll shut down emotionally if I do. I’ve seen that more than once over the years. This is where I’ve got to fucking remember I’m in it for the long haul and not some fucking quick fuck.
I grab us each one more beer ‘cause fuck if tonight doesn’t warrant three beers, and head back into the living room. I’mstopped in my tracks when I walk in by the sight on the couch. Archie, no longer content with lying on the floor by Erik’s feet, has made the move to the couch and placed his head in Erik’s lap. Erik’s got his hand on him, but it’s not moving as he’s conked out asleep already. His being asleep lets me look and get my fill of him for a minute. His hair may have gray throughout it and his face a few wrinkles, but he’s still the same guy who took my breath away all those years ago. The thought that we might finally have our time warms my cold heart. I go back over to my spot on the couch and have a seat. I then pull him closer to me, mute the sound on the game, and put on my almost-always-playing playlist. What can I say? Music soothes my soul. The first song that comes on is the classic Linda Ronstadt song “Long, Long Time.”If that ain’t just ironic, I don’t know what is. I open up the recliner so I can lean back and enjoy the moment. Watching my team on television, good music playing, a cold beer in my hand, and the man I’ve wanted for more years than I care to think about asleep in my arms. This might just be the perfect evening.
CHAPTER NINE
I love how you give great advice and listen to your kids' problems with no judgment. I hate that you don’t do the same for yourself.
~Text from Grant to Erik
