Prologue
A little over two years ago
Kimbra
Sitting down in my favorite chair in the living room, I can’t be bothered to turn on the television. I take a sip of the very large glass of wine I poured myself and wonder why I can’t even muster up a few tears.
My phone has been playing one of my playlists for the last hour, but I just switched to random songs. The one that starts playing couldn’t be more appropriate at the moment.You left me a long time ago…you don’t even know who I am, so what do you care if I go?“Patty Loveless sure as hell got it right.” Great, I’m talking out loud to myself now.Real good there, Kimbra.
Taking another sip of merlot, I take stock of the last forty-eight hours. Brian said he wanted a divorce. He wanted a divorce because he was having an affair with his receptionist. Honestly, I think we were both surprised that I didn’t cry or put up a fight. Granted, I did spend last night putting all his stuff in garbage bags and left them on the porch for him to grab. I also might have burned a few of his expensive cigars out of spite. I also contacted one of the best divorce lawyers in the county. I have a feeling Brian will try something shady, the bastard.
What I think bugs me the most is how in the hell he could have time to have an affair. I barely have time to shower, let alone do anything else for myself. Oh, that’s right, it’s because he has skated by doing the bare minimum with our kids. I mean, Bailey is almost three and barely knows him. He’s only made one game of Branson’s all season, and I can’t remember the lasttime he stopped and listened to one of Bentley’s science facts. His excuse was that he was always at work, like I don’t have a large patient load myself. His comment about being important since he’s a cardiothoracic surgeon and I’m just an OB/GYN made me see red, and the urge to smack him was so high I broke the pen in my hand. He acts like we didn’t go through medical school, residency, and everything else together. That happens when you meet in your sophomore year of college. We went through undergrad together, struggled through medical school and residency together, and were both excited when I got pregnant with Branson and then Bentley.
Bailey was an amazing surprise, though looking back, Brian was already pulling away. Shit, he barely made it in time to meet me at the hospital before she was born. I take another sip and realize that I’m not scared of being a single mom because, realistically, that’s what I’ve been for the last few years, if not longer. I can’t honestly remember the last time Brian watched the kids.
Maybe I’m just too tired to be heartbroken or hurt. Brian trying to claim that this happened because I didn’t make us a priority was ridiculous. What he was really saying is that he wasn’t my only priority outside of work anymore, and that’s true. But that still isn’t an excuse to recreate in the horizontal position with his receptionist. That’s not the kind of recreation he should’ve been doing. He wanted us to hire a full-time nanny so we could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted. We’d had thatargument before, and I told him that we weren’t having someone else raise our kids. I was fine with having Ms. Elenore watch them while we worked, but I always wanted to be a hands-on mom as much as possible. Brianusedto want that. I don’t know when things changed, but we definitely aren’t the same two people who were so excited to get married that we rushed to Vegas and were married on the Friday after he proposed.
I go to take another sip, but there’s nothing left in my glass. “Good thing I brought the bottle over.” I pour the rest of the bottle into my glass. Tonight definitely calls for a full bottle of wine. I grab the jar of olives I brought over and open them. Some people eat chocolate or chips when they’re stressed, but my go-to has always been olives. Black, green, Kalamata, Greek—I’ve never met an olive I didn’t like. Tonight’s choice is simple black olives.
It makes me think of one of my few fond memories as a kid—Mom giving us a snack of olives and my brother and I putting them on our fingers before eating them. It’s been a long time since I thought of my mom and brother.
The day of the accident changed everything. Mom was gone. I spent a while in the hospital, and my brother…my brother was never the same. The fact that he made it out with barely a scratch on him messed with his head so much. I wish he’d turned to me instead of drugs. It’s been at least ten years since I last saw him on the streets of Portland. I still wish for him to get clean andfind me, but I know he’s gotta want it for himself. He doesn’t even know that I chose B names for my kids, not for Brian, but for him. I know Brady would be shocked, but my childhood memories are all of the two of us together. Mom was always working or spending time with our next “Dad” she was trying to wrangle. I honestly don’t think she ever got over our dad dying. He was killed in Iraq, and I think part of her died the day we found out. I barely remember him since I was so young. Brady, being two years older, would often tell me stories about things he remembered, especially since Mom would never talk about Dad.
Shit. I set the wine glass down. I know if I’m bringing up these old memories, I need to quit drinking and get myself to bed. Besides, I can’t think about Brian and the impending divorce. I’ll think about it tomorrow.
Ben
A little over a year later
Sitting in a hospital waiting room has never been a comfortable experience. It’s like when they’re building hospitals, they go out and test chairs, and when they find the most uncomfortable ones, they decide that’s the one to go with! I swear, sitting on the floor against the wall has to be more comfortable. However, my fifty-two-year-old ass would probably never get back up if I tried that.
I’ve been sitting here for the last four hours, and for most of them, I’ve watched Mike pace back and forth. It’s not surprising when his only daughter—my niece—is in labor. Although, it’s not the first time. Jane had twins, and this is her second time being pregnant, but like the first time, I think Mike might have a heart attack before he meets this one. Jonah and Linnea are sitting next to me, along with other brothers and family littered throughout the room.
The door opens, and Juan comes out, stopping all conversation in the room. He rubs his face. “The doctor just came to check and said that she’s making progress, but it’s still slow going. If you guys want to go home, I can keep you updated.”
Linnea is studying Juan. “Son, did you get kicked out of the room?”
I swear I watch a grown man pout. “Not exactly. I was sent to go get ice chips, but she might have thrown her cup at me to get me to go get them.” We all chuckle because it’s a surprise to no one that my Janey did that to him. I swear they like to egg each other on. I won’t look anymore into that because I used to change her diapers, and Ido notwant to go down that road.
Linnea says a few reassuring words to him, and no one moves to leave. We all know we’re going to wait here the whole time. It’s what family does. Anna, Wyatt, and Jackson are at home watching the twins, so the rest of us can be here.
What I do know is that I need better coffee than the swill they try to pass off as coffee here. I stand up. “I’m gonna go to the cafeteria and get some real coffee. Anyone wanna come or have me bring some back?”
Logan stands up. “I’ll come with you. I need an energy drink, and I know they’ve got the ones I like.”
We both head to the cafeteria. Logan’s my nephew, but due to my sister being a horrible excuse for a human, we’ve only just gotten to know each other over the last year or so. He doesn’t know it, but he looks a lot like my dad. He’s quieter than a lot of the brothers, but he’s a thinker. We’ve talked about so many different things, it makes me proud to call him family.
As soon as we walk into the cafeteria, I head to the coffee station to get some real caffeine, and Logan heads off to find his drink of choice. I start to doctor my coffee, and I can’t help but overhear a conversation next to me—well, a phone conversation.
“No. I will not make excuses to our kids as to why you would rather spend their weekend with your girlfriend than with them. That’s on you. It’s your relationship to damage, but they aren’t gonna be this age for long. Before you know it, you won’t even know them.”
The asshole on the other end of the phone must say something back because I hear a sigh before I turn around and am almost face-to-face with Jane’s doctor. The doctor has intrigued me since I met her briefly a couple of months ago when I broughtJane to an appointment. She’s gorgeous, but you can tell she doesn’t think so by the way she carries herself.
“Don’t forget, next weekend is Bentley’s birthday, and he’s expecting you to be there. I won’t have you fucking breaking his heart yet again. Think with your brain and heart and take just a couple of hours for your children, and then you can get back to your precious girlfriend.”
I turn back to toss my trash in the garbage and hear her saying her goodbyes. I can’t not say something to her. “Everything okay there, Doc?” She looks surprised to see me, telling me just how focused she was on her phone call.
She gives me a slight smile. “Oh, just fine. Dealing with my almost-ex-husband makes me want to drink a bottle of wine.”
