Ben insisted on driving us, saying that if he gave me directions, he was worried I wouldn’t find my way since he’d tell me left and right instead of this way and that way. Smartass. He could barely get it out without laughing at me. I promptly threw the keys at him, got in the passenger seat, and turned the radio up. I can’t be mature all the time.
We’ve been driving for about ten minutes when Ben speaks up. “Doc, got a question for you.” I wait for him to continue. “I’vedriven or ridden in a vehicle with you numerous times now. How is it that every single time we’ve been in this car, at least two ABBA songs play on the radio?” Before I can answer him, Branson speaks up. “Mom is obsessed with them. She knows all their songs and has playlists of just their songs. She’s played that one movie with their songs in it over and over again.” Apparently, nothing is out of bounds for my kids to share with Ben. He doesn’t even try to hide his laughter. “Seriously, Doc? ABBA?” I let out a huff. “If you listen to their hits and the songs that aren’t as famous, they have great meaning. Besides, have you ever listened to ABBA and stayed in a bad mood? No, I don’t think so. However, since you all don’t know good taste, I’ll change the station.” Surrounded by musical snobs. I turned it to a nineties station.
A couple minutes later, Ben reaches over and takes my hand. He lifts it up and kisses it. It looks like he is about to say something when the song changes on the radio, and the first few beats have my kids all excited, even Branson, who tries to act too cool for this most of the time. Makes this mom’s heart warm to see him remembering to be a kid sometimes. I look at all three in my vanity mirror on the visor. “You guys ready?” They all yell
“yes” as they bob their heads in time to the beat. I didn’t start this intentionally, but apparently, when Branson was a toddler, it was one I played often and sang along with. He started singing the chorus from that point on. Bentley and Bailey caught onwhen they were toddlers as well. It’s something that, if I’m having a bad day, can make me feel like I’m doing something right with them. They truly are the best things I’ve ever done in my life. Focus, woman.
I can see Ben is totally entertained by all three of them bobbing their heads to the beat. “Bran, you ready?” Branson rolls his eyes at me and nods, acting as if he’s too cool for this, but yet every time, he still belts it out.
Branson, from the third row, starts the chorus. “Da-da da da!” Bentley doesn’t miss a beat “Da-da da da!” Bailey’s nodding and her curls are bouncing everywhere, and she shouts more than sings her part. “Da-da da da!” and I take my turn before we all sing the last bit together. “Da-da dum diddy dum diddy dum diddy da da da!” I look over, and Ben’s got a look on his face that I can’t quite decipher. He lifts my hand up, kisses it again, and squeezes it all while listening to my kids belt out the rest of the song.
Ben
Watching them all sing the Proclaimers song, I see the close bond Kimbra has with her kids. It humbles me that she’s invited me into their world and that she’s open to letting me into that circle. It hits me deep in my chest, and the realization comes over me that I’m not falling for Kimbra. I’ve already fallen andam completely in love with her. She’s smart, caring, loving, and sexier than any other woman I’ve ever met, and she loves her kids with every ounce of her being. Yeah, I’m a fucking goner, and I’m perfectly okay with that.
I turn and pull into the parking lot of the clubhouse. I see we aren’t the first ones here, as numerous pickups and bikes are here. I park and get ready to get out, and I can hear Kimbra taking a deep breath. I know everyone is going to love her if they haven’t met her yet, but I know that saying that till I’m blue in the face won’t change her nerves. The kids are all piling out of the SUV when Mike and Tripp ride in on their Harleys. I’m at the back of the Denali, grabbing the trays of stuff Kimbra made, when both Tripp and Mike wander over. Mike greets us with a grin and a chin lift. “I see you’ve brought us some tasty treats, Doc.” I don’t pay attention to Kimbra’s response because I see Bentley tilting his head like he’s studying them. Before I can ask him what he’s thinking, Bentley asks Tripp, “Do you not smile because you’re afraid you’re gonna get bugs in your teeth?” Mike and I both burst out laughing. Kimbra’s biting her lip, trying to hold in her laugh. Tripp smiles and looks down at Bentley. “You got it. They call it RBF or resting biker face. It’s so I don’t swallow bugs. I know they’re high in protein, but I don’t like them, just like I don’t like tomatoes.” Tripp doesn’t know it, but he just made a friend for life. Bentley starts peppering him with questions. Tripp is a good sport and answers every one of themand even offers to show him his bike. Tripp gives me a chin lift, so I know he’s got Bentley. “Let’s take this stuff inside, Doc, and we can find everyone else.” Bailey is holding Kimbra’s hand, and Branson is following behind. As soon as we walk inside, we’re greeted by Anna, who happened to be walking by. She bends down to greet Bailey. “Well, what do we have here?” Bailey sticks her hand out to shake Anna’s. “I’m Bailey. I’m almost six years old. Are there any kids here to play with?” Anna gives her a smile. “Well, you’re the only almost six-year-old, but my granddaughter, Daisy, is three and a half, and she’s here. There are also some babies and a couple two-year-olds.” Anna stands back up and points across the main room. “She’s playing over there if you want to go see what she’s doing.” Bailey looks up at Kimbra. “Mommy, can I?” Kimbra nods, and before she can say anything, Bailey runs off to the other side of the room.
Anna loops her arms with Kimbra and looks back at me. “You know where that stuff goes. I’m gonna take her to the kitchen and make the introductions. You boys go do what boys do.” Kimbra looks back and smiles at me as she’s led into the wolf’s lair. Branson’s standing next to me and looks over at me, appearing a little concerned. “If I go in there with her, I’m gonna get my cheeks pinched so much they bruise, aren’t I?” I set the trays down on the table they always serve everything on, knowing one of the women will come out and arrange it like they want it. “You don’t need to go in there ‘cause you’re not wrongabout the cheek-pinching thing. Come with me and meet some more of the club. You know a couple of them like baseball and might be happy to talk to you about it”. I can tell that piques his interest a little, and it’s a better option than going into the kitchen.
Over at the tables, I see Jackson, Wyatt, Logan, Asher, Rory, Micah, Jonah, Jameson, and Grant. Jonah’s the first to notice us walking over. “So, who do we have here?” I give him a chin lift in greeting. “This is Branson. He’s Kimbra’s oldest and a pretty damn good shortstop and pitcher.” Wyatt, Logan, and Jameson all perk up. Wyatt speaks up, “Are you in Little League? My boys never really got into it, and it’s a phenomenal game. Luckily, Logan here enjoys watching it with me. Jameson here used to be really into it in school.” I look over and see a starstruck preteen looking over at Jameson. “Are youtheJameson that threw a no-hitter against Morris High School?” Jameson looks at Branson in surprise. “Yeah, that was me. How do you know about that?” Branson sits down and starts talking to Jameson, and I think he just found his favorite brother.
Mike walks up and hands me a beer. “Seems like they’re all settling in nicely and finding people to talk with.” He continues, but at a volume that only I can hear. “You've been over at her place a lot lately, brother. Things getting serious between you two?” I look at the person who’s known me since I was a scrawny seventeen-year-old. The man who made me an uncle and whoI watched sacrifice so much to be able to spend time with his daughter since my sister was the devil incarnate. He knew me through my whole relationship with Sarah and was there to support me after she died. We’ve been through being “retired” by the club we thought we’d pledged our lives to and were welcomed into this family side by side. I know he’s just looking out for me, so I’m not mad at his questioning, but I want him to get just how serious I am. “It is serious. It’s serious, and I think I feel more for her than I did for Sarah.” His eyebrows go sky-high. “Seriously? I remember you being pretty damn serious about Sarah. You two were solid.” He’s not wrong. “We were, but we were also young. I’m not trying to diminish what she and I shared, but I think, being older, I can appreciate Kimbra more and get to know her on a deeper level. I think she’s it for me, brother.” He sighs. “She comes with a lot of baggage, brother. A lot of young baggage. That little girl has to be what, four or five?” I move my hands to my hips without thinking. “She’s almost six. I know she comes with…complications. Maybe my life needs that because from where I’m standing, I want all of what she’s got. Every last complication.” He studies me for a minute, then must see whatever he’s looking for in my face. “Alright then. Guess I better get to knowin’ this gal who’s stolen my best friend’s heart.” He smacks me on the back and goes to take his youngest grandbaby from Jon. One thing about Mike is when he’s got his answer, the conversation is over, and the topic needs no morediscussion. Guess that means he’s accepting Kimbra as mine. He’s the one whose opinion matters the most to me.
We’ve all been shooting the shit for a good couple of hours, and I look over the room. Bailey is sitting at a kid’s table with Daisy, both wearing tiaras and having a tea party with their dolls. She’s been occupied since the moment we got here. Bentley came in about an hour ago and was super excited because both Tripp and Max let him look over their bikes and ask them a million-and-one questions. He’s now hanging out with Juan and Samson in their office, putting together a computer. We may never get him out of here.
Branson is currently outside helping the guys get the wood together for the bonfire later. He’s trying to act cool, but you can tell he’s having a blast hanging out with the guys like a grown-up. Kimbra’s come out a couple of times and brought me a beer once, but by the sounds of the laughter coming from the kitchen, the women are having a good time. Linnea comes out and calls a couple of her boys over to help her, and that tells me it’s almost time to eat. I get up and go over to where Bailey is sitting. “It’s almost time to eat, princess. Are you going to be able to take a break from your dolls?” I feel someone come up behind me, and I look over and see it’s Mayson. “How about you come and sit next to Daisy so you can eat together, and when you’re done, you can come back and play?” Bailey agrees, and Mayson just smilesat me. “I’m still learning this dad thing every day. You learn where you can and ask for help when you have no fucking clue.” He walks back over to his dads and brother.
I’m sure Branson will follow the guys in for food when they’re called, so I go in search of Bentley. I walk down the hall to the tech room. When I open it, I’m surprised to see not only Samson and Juan in the room with Bentley, but Ry and Logan are in here, too. They’re knee-deep in computer shit that I won’t even pretend to understand. Logan looks up and gives me a chin lift. “Just came to let you guys know it’s looking like food’s about to be up.” Juan speaks up. “We’ll all come out in just a second. Ma would not be okay with us staying in here while food is bein’ served.” Always good to see a grown man still scared of his mama.
I’m walking back down the hall to the main room when I see Kimbra walking toward me. The smile she gives me tells me she’s having a good time and definitely settled her nerves. I stop in front of her and lean forward, giving her a quick peck on the lips. “Where are ya off to, Doc?” She looks up at me. “Well, I’m told we’re about to eat, and I haven’t seen hide or hair of my kids, and they need to eat.” I take her hand and start to lead her back to the main room. “Bentley’s in the IT room with some of the guys, and they’re about to come out, Bailey’s over in that far corner playing with Daisy and has already agreed to sit next to her at the table, and Branson is out getting the wood together forthe bonfire with some of the guys so they’ll make sure he comes in with them. You just get yourself a drink and enjoy the day. Those three are a big hit with the family.”
Kimbra
He went and checked on my kids. He knows where they’re all at. I just…nope, I will not cry at his thoughtfulness. I kiss him. “Thank you, Mathis. Thank you for looking out for them. I’m gonna get drinks ready for all of us. Did you want another beer?” He smiles and shakes his head. “Nah. I’m driving precious cargo later, so I’ll switch to soda.” See? Freaking unicorn. I scurry off back to the kitchen. When I walk in, there are trays being carried out and set on a long table against the wall. Anna, who seems to have a handle on things, tells some of the guys where to set things. She gives me a smile. “It’s organized chaos. Once you embrace it, it doesn’t seem so crazy. Course, we’ve got a couple bottles of wine to help that. Want a glass?” She holds up a bottle that happens to be one of my favorites. “Now you’re talking. I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad bottle of that, even on the shittiest of days.” Anna’s smile gets even bigger. “Linnea! She’s one of us.” She grabs a couple of glasses and the bottle opener. “Yeah. I think you’re going to fit in here just fine.”
I grab a tray next to me and hand it over to the guys who are taking everything out to the main room. I uncover the trays Ibrought and hand them over to Tripp, I think his name was. He looks down and back up at me. “You brought Watergate salad? Green fluff?” I nod. “Yeah, my kids love it. I know it’s kinda old-fashioned, but it’s one of the few things I remember my mom making.” He smiles at me. “I haven’t had it since I was in high school. It was the one thing my grandma always insisted on having at every get-together.” Sounds familiar. “My mom said the same thing about her mom. I’m guessing she was a special person, just like your grandma. Mine’s a little different because a lot of people put maraschino cherries in it, but I don’t because that’s not how she made it. If you’re looking for them, you won’t find them in mine. Mom said it’s how her mom always made it.”
Jon comes in and interrupts our conversation. “Hurry up, man. You know Ma and Anna won’t let us eat till everything is out.” Tripp carries out the trays, and I follow Anna while I carry the glasses and she’s got the bottle of wine. She calls out to the room, “Food’s up!” I expect to see a mad rush to the tables, but it’s pretty orderly, with Jonah, Grant, Erik, Wyatt, and Jackson getting in line first. Mike and Tripp are after them. Ben comes up next to me. “It’s been ingrained in these guys since they were kids that their elders go first. I’m still adjusting to the fact that I’m in that group.” I can’t even blame the wine for what comes out of my mouth next. “Ah, the privileges of dating an old-er-older man.” Ben looks shocked, and there’s laughter all around us. Ben gives me a smile that promises I’m going to pay forthat comment later. “Is that how it is today, Doc?” Before I can answer him, he leans forward, gives me a quick kiss, and says, just so I can hear him, “I’ll show you how much of an old man I’m not later tonight.” He kisses me again and walks off to get his plate. A unicorn, people, I swear.
We’ve all gotten food and are in varying states of food comas. Bailey and her new friend are watching cartoons on a beanbag, and Bent shockingly is next to them watching something else that the guys showed him on his tablet. It was sweet they checked with me first to make sure it was alright for him to watch. It’s some sort of engine show. My only concern is what he’s gonna want for his next birthday.
Tripp is sitting across from me, and I feel like he’s studying me. “I’m sorry, Doc, but between what you said about the cherries and looking just like her, I gotta ask. What’s your mom’s name?” Huh? “My mom’s name was Emma Hargrave. Well, her maiden name was Platt.” I watch as Tripp’s eyebrows go sky-high. “I’m pretty damn sure your mom was my aunt. Guess that makes us cousins.” What in the? “My mom always said she didn’t have any family. That’s why we moved away from here after my dad was killed in action.” Tripp shrugs his shoulders. “That was my mom’s side. She never talked too much about them. I know her parents died before I was born. For some reason, I get the impression that not only was there a large age gap between our moms but that I think they might have had different mothers.I’d have to look to see when my mom’s mom died and when your mom was born, but that could definitely explain why they weren’t close.” He rubs his beard and looks at Ben. “You’re a lucky son of a bitch, you know that? I was gonna sweep her off her feet and away from you after I tasted her food, but now…well, I’m not one to sleep with kin, so just count your lucky stars.” I, along with half the room, burst out laughing at that. I think he did it on purpose to bring some levity back into the room. Though I’m definitely gonna try and look into the possibility that what he’s just said is true. It’s kinda nice to hear that I might have family—even if it’s just Tripp. Since Brady seems to have been lost permanently to his life of drugs, I don’t think I’ve realized how much I missed just having even one person I can call family, outside of my kids, that is. I feel a squeeze on my knee, and I look over to see Ben looking at me. He mouths,You okay? I take his hand and nod. “I’m good.”
It’s been a great day, and I have barely seen my kids all day, with all three of them being completely entertained and occupied. Right now, the boys are outside getting the fire going with Ben and some of the guys. Bailey is in the kitchen with Anna and the other little girl—I want to say her name is Daisy. They're getting all the things together to make some s’mores. I know even with that sugar, my kids will sleep well tonight.
I refill my wine glass and head out to check out the fire. I know my boys have never started one before because Brian insisted wehave a gas fireplace that could be turned on with a switch in the house. It’s one of the things I would love to change back. There’s nothing like a real fire in the fireplace on a winter’s day.
I find a seat and watch as both my boys follow directions from the guys. It looks like they’re about to light it, and I have a feeling that’s going to bring an argument between the two. Imagine my shock when Jon comes up and tells them that Branson is going to light the fire. They have a rule in this brotherhood that you have to be ten to start a fire. Bentley just nods and doesn’t try to talk Jon into letting him light it. How’d he do that? Of course, being Mom, I getallthe arguments and attitudes.
Someone sits down in the chair next to me. I look over and see it’s Mike. I look back over and watch my boys with Ben, and it warms my heart in a spot I didn’t realize was closed off till this moment. Mike speaks up, though not loud enough for others to hear. “My best friend seems to be head over heels for you. I’ve known him since I was a scrawny seventeen-year-old, and I can honestly say I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this way.” I know he’s working up to a point or a question, so I let him continue. “I can tell you care for him a lot, but I also notice some apprehension. Is it because he lives in this world? Because he’s a biker, or is it something else?” I look over at Mike, and I know I need to be honest. I know he’s the one Ben is closest to and shares the most with.
“There’s no apprehension about my feelings for him. I…I live a complicated life with my work, my kids, and having to deal with their dad and shared custody. He lives a simple life. I’m a lot to take on for someone who’s lived so simply for so long.” He leans forward in his chair, resting his elbow on his knee. “You ever think he’s lived that way for so long because before now, he’d never met anyone worth living a complicated life for? He’s my best friend and a smart man. If he’s telling you he wants to live life with you, it’s because he does. If you don’t feel the same about him, you need to let him know and not lead him on. If he gets more involved and you realize he’s not what you want, well, I’m not sure he would recover from that. For what it’s worth, I think you make him happier than I’ve seen in a long time, hell, if ever.” Well, what do I say to that? I mean, I know my feelings for him are strong. Hell, I know I’m in love with him. Maybe Mike is right, and I need to trust that Ben knows what he’s getting into with me. Shit, I’ve been in my head and not said anything back to Mike. I look over, and he’s leaning back in his chair again. He takes a sip of his beer. “Don’t have to say anything back. Just think about what I said.” I nod and realize I don’t even have to think about things, really, because my heart has known the answer before my brain could work things out.
Ben
I don’t know what Mike said to Kimbra in their conversation, but it seems to have flipped a switch in her. It’s like something inside of her has settled. Maybe this is one of those times I don’t need to know and just enjoy the results.
I’ve currently got a sleeping Bailey in my lap. She crashed out about half an hour ago when her sugar high from her s’mores came crashing down. Bentley is nodding off in his chair, and even Branson looks tired. I look over to Kimbra. “Thinking it’s time to get these kids home and to bed. What do you think?” She smiles and nods. “Yeah, I was just thinking the same thing. Think you’d mind coming in and going to bed with me?” Fuck me. Suddenly, getting everyone home quickly is a priority.
