“We can make it,” the Crux says, looking behind us to the mountain opposite the fire, where the sun is slowly starting to set an orange glow on a blackened sky as the rays of light fight to shine through.
“If we leave now, we can make it.”
The Soothsayer didn't wake up with this cycle, still decades away from his next turn on this earth, but I don't need him here to know that the Crux is lying. He's trying to give his brother something to distract him before our deaths together, something small to get him through the pain of the night, because it's always this way.
It's always standing together and watching the destruction around us as we go forth to our death.
We have a hard choice ahead of us now. Whether we choose to take matters into our own hands here and now, to leave behind these vessels and begin the cycle again on our own terms, or if we continue to fight until our bodies give out. We've made the decision many times before, never truly happy either way.
I do want to fight. I want to leave the small, sheltered area that we're in at the moment and run until I find that god-bond that haunts us. I want to tear it apart with my bare hands, to show it the same callous treatment that it has shown me and mine. But no matter how many times I've killed it, it continues to wake. It wakes and hunts us down.
I’m tired.
More tired than I ever wanted to admit to my Bonded. So tired that I hope I don't wake with the next cycle or maybe ever again. Maybe I need to give up, to know that the small pockets of joy that I have found with my Bonded are all we’ll ever get, to go to my final resting place at peace, to know that at least I got to meet each of them.
If only for a few moments in a thousand lifetimes, I got to know those who complete my soul.
“Don't think like that, Eternal,” the Crux says, holding out a hand and pressing it to my cheek.
He's having to take care of both of us now, something that doesn't sit quite right with me, but I lean into his hand anyway. It feels strange to do, like the hand isn't familiar to me, but at the same time, it feels like home, because the god beneath the skin remains the same.
“You two should go. Leave here quietly together. I will stay for a little longer, finish what we started and hope that our enemy sleeps through the next cycle.”
He always would give every last piece of himself until there was nothing left, but the Corvus and I would never let him leave alone, not if we had a choice in the matter. Instead, we brush ourselves off, standing together. I try not to wince at the state of my vessel as the blood continues to drip down to the scorched earth beneath our feet.
“We will finish this together,” I say. “We will go to sleep together.”
CHAPTERTHREE
North
WatchingOli shut down as she speaks to her bond still sends the same ripples of unease and frustration through my gut as it always has, but I try to distract myself by speaking with my own bond instead.
My least favorite thing to do.
But my feelings don’t matter right now, because as much as I have always fought with the thing that lives inside of me, I will do whatever it takes for my Bonded to be safe. Knowing that there are gods living in each of us means that it’s time to get over my own feelings and start working with it to get through this, especially if there is a precedent of us losing this battle.
I’mnevergoing to lose Oleander again.
Do you call her the Eternal as well?
It answers me quickly enough, clearly listening in on this conversation, though it hadn't made itself known to me.My bonded is Eternal, always.
And what do they call you? You must all have names if you’ve been around that many times.
The Crux. My brother's name is the Corvus. There's also the Soothsayer, the Cleaver, and the Draconis. They have all woken, finally.
The Soothsayer.
That’s what Oli had called Gryphon’s bond.
How are we going to keep them alive? What is your plan for the Eternal and my Bonded that it lives within?
I'm not sure what sort of a response I'm expecting from it, but I'm happy with what I get. Beyond happiness, the relief it fills me with is enough that maybe, just very maybe, I might start speaking to the god a little more often.
They are both mine, as they are yours. There is no distinction. When our enemy comes, as they always do, we will defeat them all. We are unmatched now.
I open my eyes and glance across at Nox to find him already staring at me. I give him a simple nod before he turns back to Gryphon’s bond.
