I almost look when I hear the sharp intake of breath at my side, but then Gabe says, “Don’t, Bonded. It's bad enough that it's in my head now, I don't need it in yours as well. Let me carry this for us both.”
I swallow and nod, trying to forget the smell that lingers in the air, trying not to letanyof this imprint on me the way that I already know it's going to. There's no avoiding it, no avoiding the way that every single time the Resistance hits our community, it chips away at us and our strength, our resolve and our sanity, eroding us until we're nothing but shells of ourselves.
I only hope that in the time between these attacks, we'll be able to build ourselves back up enough so that doesn't happen. It feels as though I've spent the last six months doing nothing but fighting. I feel drained at the prospect of any more time doing this, losing people senselessly and watching as those who are innocent of wrongdoing pay the ultimate price for those who just want power.
All of it is gut-wrenching and heartbreaking.
This is the worst sort of hell to be stuck in, and yet here we are again. I swallow back the bile that just won’t leave my throat, and I keep my eyes on North’s back as we move together. One of Gryphon’s TacTeams fans around us as they move through the street in their search for survivors. I feel terrible that they have to roll the bodies over and press their fingers against necks to check for signs that maybe a Healer will be able to repair the damage.
I cast out my net of power; it's a much more reliable way to find survivors and my own way of helping out.
I want to vomit at the vast, gaping chasm of emptiness in the field.
“They're all dead,” I murmur, my voice breaking, and North nods his head without turning around to look at me, his eyes carefully watching the area around us.
“I already guessed they would be, Bonded. I'm sorry I didn't prepare you well enough for that.”
I shake my head. “I guessed it too. It's just… I already knew that’s what was going to happen, but it's different being here, seeing it. There's no Resistance here either. There's no one left for me to hold accountable for this.”
North nods his head again, reaching his hand out as the shadows play around us, sniffing the bodies. “Can your bond tell us anything? Who was here or if it can guess at which god may have done this?”
I scowl a little as I think about it, reaching out to my bond and finding it just as pissed off as I am. “It doesn't know. It can guess, but there are a lot of options, especially if they have help from other Gifted.”
He sighs and turns back to me, carefully taking off one of his gloves before he cups my face, rubbing a thumb over my cheekbone and murmuring to me quietly, “None of this is our fault. I know that doesn't help, but hold on to it until we get home. I'm sorry you had to come here.”
I shake my head a little and look out over the line of trees just outside of the suburb. The cold hasn't reached here yet. The leaves are still changing color, and there is an eerie quiet to the world around us. As I stare out over it all, I see a playground there, and my heart breaks in my chest.
I can imagine the children moving here and being so excited to find one. The Sanctuary only had one small play area at the school, something that we had discussed making a priority. North and Gabe had already started planning a large park for the children to play in, something we wanted to move up the list, but it's so difficult when we know how many people are waiting to be let in once housing becomes available.
Everything is a constant battle, a give and take. Do one thing and neglect another; it’s an impossible weight for my Bonded to carry.
North steps away from me and with his ungloved hand, he presses his palm to the neck of one of the men on the ground, his eyes flashing to black. I scowl for a moment before I remember that this is one of his gifts, a variation of the death touch. Yes, he can take life away, but he can also see the cause of someone's death, a trait I haven't seen come in handy until now.
“There was the Pain god. That's what came here and did this. At least we know what we're facing,” he says.
Gryphon and Nox come stalking back over to us from where they had ventured a little further out, making their way through the lines of bodies.
“Kieran’s caught the trail, he knows where they've Transported to. It could be a stop-off point to get to where we're going.”
“It could also be a trap,” Nox says, but Gryphon just shrugs.
“I’m confident that we can get out of any trap that they set for us, aren’t you?”
Nox scowls, and his eyes dart down to mine for a moment. “I don't want to make any dumb decisions here just because we're pissed off at what they've done. There’s no use in getting ourselves killed.”
I let my eyes slip shut as I reach out to my bond, but the answer is already waiting for me there. “Let's go hunting, my Bonded.”
Adrenaline fills my body as Kieran strides towards us, a look of disgust on his face as he avoids the victims on the ground. “You're going to kill them, right? This isn't going to be a recon thing? You're going there, and you're going to gut every last one of the motherfuckers who did this? Promise me, Fallows.”
North bristles at him speaking to me like this, but I nod my head. “Every last one of them.”
“Good. I’ll stick around and make sure you're okay. We’re not going to get split up by any Shields this time.”
Kieran shoves the gaiter from his neck up over his face, and Gryphon sidles up next to me, wedging me between himself and North as we grasp his second-in-command. “It doesn't matter who they stick between us, Oli’s got it covered. Just try to stay out of the way if her bond comes out. I doubt it's going to be in a very forgiving mood.”
“None of them are,” Kieran snaps as his eyes flash to white, and then wepopout of the area without another snarky word.
* * *
