I shake my head, the corners of my mouth turned down in disgust, but I try not to let it show, another concession. I shouldn't have to hide the repulsion I have for this woman, but I do it for Gryphon.
“Why did you go? You could have stayed here, just refused to leave the house. He would still be here raging about it, and the rest of those people would be here too.”
It's not fair of me to say. The entire catastrophe that has taken place isn't exactly her fault, but some of the blame can be laid at her feet. With no one else left to share that burden, it’s placed all on her.
She sighs, looking thirty years older than she had only a week ago. “No, he wouldn’t. He wouldn’t listen to me about this. He never did. I can have all the regrets in the world about what happened, but he never would listen.”
Her eyes fill up with tears, and I have a sinking feeling in my chest. I've seen Bonds lose their Central before. I've seen it a lot, unfortunately. They turn into an empty shell. You can see that the person left behind has had everything good sucked out of them. All their past joy is forgotten and every future opportunity is torn away as well. There’s no hope for that light to return, no chance of ever feeling anything positive ever again.
It’s not like this.
This is the regular kind of grief, the grief that says you've lost someone very important to you. Someone you shared a life with and had children with. This is not like losing a piece of your soul, something so vital to you that without it, your life is rendered meaningless.
This isnothow Gabe’s mother reacted when his father died.
Trying not to arouse her suspicions, I get out my phone and send a quick message to Nox, something I don't usually have to do anymore thanks to the mind connection. I don't want to force Oli to keep secrets from her Bonded though, and I don't want Gryphon involved just yet.
I'll rely on technology for now.
“Is there anything that I can do? Anything except sitting here in this cell and rotting?”
I give her a cold look and shake my head. “There really isn’t. Everyone that could be spared went out to the Wasteland to fight, but it was too late. You’ll just have to wait here until we can decide what we're going to do with you.”
Her eyebrows dip down low at that, confusion clear on her face. “What are you going to do with me? It doesn't make any sense to leave me in here. I was a victim of the Resistance out there, you know.”
I shrug back at her apathetically. “You’ll stay here until a decision is made. I can’t exactly let you out now that we all know what you think of my Bonded and the rest of the Draven Bonded Group, now can I? We can’t very well let someone who was part of the defection freely roam the streets. If harm came to my Bonded… Well then, you might finally see the monster I can be.”
Her jaw drops open a little as she glances around, but I continue, “Gryphon went home with our Bonded to break the news of the General’s death and what we found in the Wasteland to Kyrie. He deserves to get some rest after everything that’s happened. He doesn't have time to come down here and coddle someone who left him.”
She closes her mouth and opens it again, no sound coming out.
I lean forward and lower my voice, my rage clear in my tone. “You did more than just leave your children. Every time the General snapped his fingers because he was so angry or jealous about something that his son was doing, instead of feeling proud of him, you left. You told Gryphon and Kyrie you were doing it to get him away from them, to give them a break, but you never even tried to stick around. Your son is far more understanding than I will ever be. Loyalty means everything, and you have plenty of it—just for the wrong person. Now you really can rot here for all I care.”
I turn on my heel, and she slaps her hand against the glass to get my attention. “You're never going to pick someone else over your Bonded, Draven. You can't judge me when you haven't been put in that position yourself.”
I turn to look back at her, shaking my head, aware that Aurelia and Jericho are watching this entire exchange and finding that I just do not care anymore. I really have lost the ability to put up with people's bullshit. Something inside me has snapped, and it won't ever go back together.
“I will never have to make that decision because I will never let it come down to a choice between my Bonded or my child. I will sacrificeeverything elseinstead. I will never, ever do that to my children, and I already know my Bonded feels the same way because she’s a good person… The very best. I will never put myself before them. All you’re proving is your weak character. I hope you rot down here, but know that if you do get out, you should stay very far away from me, because it was not at my request. I will let my shadows consume you the moment they see you.”
I stalk back down the hallway, ignoring the challenge in Jericho’s eyes as I do, the way that he leans against the wall separating him from his Bonded.
I hate the whole lot of them.
Sometimes I wish that we could fill this entire space up with gasoline and light a match just to be done with it all. Some things aren't that easy.
I find the god-bond sitting at the small table, his palms flat against the wood as he watches me enter the space. He doesn't try to speak to me or comment on the little display he's just watched. He just stares until finally, with a sigh, I reach out to the Crux, offering him my body in exchange for the information that I require.
* * *
The Crux
The god-bond looks toohealthy sitting in the seat across from me as I take over my vessel. It looks too well-fed, too taken care of here, too pampered, considering the threat that it is to my Eternal.
I raise this complaint with my vessel, but it gives me the paltry excuses of the human folk, things like ‘the Geneva Convention’ and ‘acts of war’ and ‘setting a good foundation of expectations’ and ‘making us different from our enemy’.
I do not care for any of that.
I especially do not care about the mistreatment of those who would harm us. They deserve death, blood-soaked and gory. They deserve pain and torture before my Eternal eats their souls and turns them into nothing more than a life source for us, something to increase our power and our hold on this earth.
