Nothing else comes up.
Once he accepts that it’s our only option, he’s forced to broach it with North and I. He does so before the rest of our Bonded Group, and that in itself sends warning bells into my mind.
“Under no circumstances will my Bonded be used as bait. Find a new plan,” North says in his most savage and firm tone, one that I have never heard in our Bonded Group's direction, let alone his brother’s, but Nox doesn't react to it, he simply crosses his arms and raises his chin in defiance.
It’s a fighting stance that I know so well, and I start to mentally prepare for the fallout of this conversation. I already know it's going to be horrendous.
“You're making it sound as though I'm going to drug her and string her up somewhere, nothing more than cannon fodder. That's not what I'm talking about. The information that the Bassingers had been collecting concurs with what the Corvus has said. The Pain god uses its power as a trap to separate us; it always does. That's exactly what it's going to do, North. It will drive a wedge between us once it has lured us into a trap. As soon as it gets Oleander alone, it will kill her.”
North shakes his head at him. “It can't. We're stronger than it now. There are also six of us and one of it. There is no chance that it will get the better of us.”
He doesn't sound cocky, merely confident, stating the facts that the god-bonds have said to us over and over again, but I still feel the same pit of unease in my gut.
We're going to be stronger than the Pain god-bond, thanks to our Bonding, but are we going to make it out alive? We currently have a success rate of zero in hundreds of lives, so I don’t find myself feeling very optimistic about it, even knowing the difference of this lifetime from the last. I feel stronger than I ever have been before, but who knows if it's enough?
Who knows if it will ever be enough?
Nox keeps his eyes on North, staring a hole right into his brother as he does whatever he needs to do to win this argument. “The Pain god will use that against us. It will use our confidence against us. We both know it, because that's exactly what we would do. As much as we all might want to think differently, it's smart. Smart enough to have survived this long and to start an entire movement amongst the Gifted community to hide within and build resources against us. It has manipulated the strongest of our community, over and over andover. If we let our egos into this conversation, it will win again.”
North shakes his head, and then his eyes catch mine and he shakes it all over again. “The risk is too great. Find another plan. Send me… or you. Send any of the rest of us, I don’t care. Not Oleander.”
My bond prickles inside my chest at the very thought of that, but I understand the hypocrisy there. The moment Nox suggested I be used as bait, I was happy to throw myself headfirst into the danger that is sending such a chill through North's blood, the evidence so clear on his face.
“It won't come after one of us, and you know it. It always takes the Eternal first. The only way it canbeat usis by taking the Eternal first. Hundreds of lifetimes—it always goes for her. Why do you think it hunted her parents the moment it heard of her ability? Why do you think that it wanted to carve her into pieces? It wasn't just Silas Davies, you know. He was just the idiot that lost her, in the Pain god’s eyes. Whether you like it or not, brother, it has always come down to Oleander. Even now, we can't deny that… no matter how badly we want to.”
North shakes his head again, pressing his hands against the table as he searches through the paperwork like a ‘Plan B’ might suddenly spring out of the words there, but all that stares back at him is the black ink.
There is no arguing with Nox about these things, and we both know it. He's the researcher. He always has been happiest losing himself in books and data, building a path for us once he’s sure he has checked every angle. If he says that using me as bait is the only way, I don't actually need to hear anything else.
I trust it.
I also trust him, not just because he's my Bonded, but because I've seen the heart of him. I've seen every moment of his life, every second to this point. There’s no doubt in my mind that he wouldn't even be suggesting this to North if there was another way, and he certainly wouldn't be suggesting it if he didn't think that we could win. He would still be tucked away in that little library of archives, searching for a loophole.
If he doesn't believe that we need that, then that's enough for me.
“I can do it, North,” I say confidently. He shakes his head again, turning away from us both, but I force my voice out even stronger.
I push away from the table and circle around to North, forcing him to meet my eye. “I want to do it—and I'm going to—with your blessing or not. My bond and I are sick of this cycle, sick of death and the way that it just seems to follow us no matter what we do. My bond is tired. It wants us all to be safe and together. It wants the future that we just keep promising will someday be here. Instead of promising it, it wants us to work towards it, and I agree. If Nox has a plan that he believes will work, that's enough for me.”
North turns back to me, and I see the stark fear in his eyes, the terror that we've gotten to this point, and that no matter how brave or how in control he might have been up to now, everything is spiraling slowly out of his grasp. Now that we’re facing the end, I see it all. I take it in, and it only strengthens my conviction. I give him a nod and then one to Nox.
“Let's get this over with.”
North stares down at me for a moment longer, and then he looks back up at Nox, a snarl curling his lip for a moment before he gets it back under control. “Fine. Tell me the plan, the whole thing. We’re not leaving this room until I’m positive there’s no holes in it. If anything happens to my Bonded out there, I’ll let the shadows consumeeverythinguntil we’re all in Hell. It’s the least we’ll deserve.”
CHAPTERTWENTY-SIX
Oli
The city isdark around me.
There are cars weaving past me with honking horns and people shouting, disorienting me quickly as it's been months since I've been around vehicles like that. The Sanctuary only has ATVs, and when we Transport elsewhere, it’s mostly been to Wastelands or places affected by the gods, nothing like the real world.
It smells like every city I’ve ever been to, smoke and hot garbage filling my lungs as I pull my sleeve over my hand and press it to my nose. It's been years since I've been somewhere like this, but you never really forget the smell.
A light above me flickers off and on, off and on, and there's so much light pollution that I can't see the stars. You wouldn't even know that there were millions of them shining down right now.
I instantly feel homesick, but there's work to do. I could put a vulnerable look on my face of uncertainty or worry in some way, but I'm not going to play into the trap that much. When I hear the telltale sign, thepopof a Transporter arriving with the Pain god wearing a senator's body, I stare back at them unflinchingly with my own blue eyes.
