“What’s your definition of one?” Parker asked, still smiling.
I thought about that for a second. “Honestly? This is going to sound really negative, and I hate to be negative. It puts bad ju-ju into the universe.”
“Hit me.”
“A non-existent one,” I said, the answer too easy.
“He was that bad?”
“Yeah,” I admitted. “He was that bad. I mean, not at first, obviously.”
“Tell me.”
“Nah,” I said as a new song started. I peeked onto the dance floor but couldn’t see Pia or Mason. “I don’t want to be a cliché, talking about the ex.”
“Tell me,” he said again. If he’d said it more firmly, the words would have sounded like a command. But his tone wasn’t like that. Parker said it gently, as if he really wanted to hear.
I looked into his eyes. There was nothing there but kindness. If it was an act, it was a damn good one.
Here went nothing. “For the first few months, he was amazing. Told me everything a woman wants to hear. ‘I never met anyone like you’ and stuff like that. Then things began to cool off. He was busier and busier, just… didn’t really prioritize our relationship. Eventually he broke up with me, and just when I was starting to feel okay, he came back. Said he’d made a mistake. And the whole thing started all over again. That’s the worst of it, falling for his shit twice. I feel like a complete idiot.”
“You’re not an idiot. Love does funny things to people.”
“That’s the thing. When I think back, I don’t even know if I loved him or was just addicted to him. I would think love was reciprocal, and more and more I’m realizing the only person he truly loved was himself.” That was enough. No more ex talk. I changed the subject. “What about you? Have you ever been in love?”
“Twice,” Parker said, quickly enough that I knew he’d given it some thought. “College girlfriend. And then again a few years later.”
“So what happened?”
Parker inhaled, got a faraway look into those hazel eyes of his. “College happened, the first time. We both sort of realized it was too soon to settle down with one person. It was only junior year, and there was a lot of partying to do. It was pretty amicable, actually.”
Of course it was. I had a hard time seeing Parkernotamicable with anyone.
“The second time was a little messier. It was just after I’d moved to Cedar Falls that I met her, and we started dating. She was from Oakridge and in town wine tasting with friends when we met. Did the long-distance thing for a while, but her mother owned a dental practice there, and she was poised to take it over which meant she wasn’t moving. She was ready to settle down, get engaged and all that.”
“And you weren’t?”
“Not sure if I’ll ever be.”
Ouch. “Bachelor pact and all?”
Conversation buzzed around us. Music played from the other side of the bar. But for all intents and purposes, it might as well just have been the two of us, I was so engrossed in talking to him.
“That wouldn’t stop me, obviously. But I took it for a reason.”
“Being?”
He’d been staring at his beer. Parker’s head jolted up.
Shit. I pushed too hard. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to?—”
“My dad cheated. Multiple times. Tore apart my mother. Ripped up the family. Everyone was completely shocked. Mom and Dad had been the perfect couple.” He frowned. “Perfect except for the fact that Dad had led a double, secret life for longer than anyone could have realized.”
“Oh, man, that’s awful.”
“The fact that he came to town to visit and ended up”—Parker smiled—“getting that prescription after meeting a woman out at a bar the night before?” He shrugged like it was no big deal, but I could tell it was a huge deal. “Is very… him.”
“Well.” I lifted my glass. “Here’s to shit relationships. May we not repeat them.”
