As I laid my head on his chest, we moved to the slow chords. I listened to the words, knowing he’d put the song on for a reason. The bachelor pact rule. The bar. The apartment. His declaration.
Was it really possible Beck could be a different man for me than he’d been with any other woman all these years?
I looked up, to ask him that very question, when he leaned down and put his lips to mine. It was a kiss unlike any other. Slow. Sensual. Full of promise, and hope. We moved together in perfect rhythm, kissed like we’d been doing it for years.
His hand on my back tightened, pulling me closer just as the song ended.
Breaking the kiss, he continued to look into my eyes.
“I wanted to talk to you about us,” he said. “I have been in love with you all my life, Mae. If I’ve acted like an immature idiot, it’s because I never thought I could have the one woman I really wanted. Still don’t.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but he pressed a finger to my lips.
“It’s a big ask. The biggest one there is. So until you know for sure, don’t say anything. Think about it. Us. Me. Cedar Falls. What you want for your future. I know it’s all tied together.”
Wow. Sometimes I thought Beck knew me better than I knew myself.
I’d planned on telling him about my research. My business idea. But instead, I realized he was right. Committing to staying here was a big deal, especially because I would be committing to him too. And where I lived, which could be changed at any time, a relationship with Beck wasn’t so straightforward. His life was here. At O’Malley’s. With his friends nearby.
And mine?
Maybe he was right. Until I knew that answer for sure, not saying anything at all was probably for the best.
I wanted to respond. To tell him what I was thinking.
To tell Beck I loved him too, and not just as a friend.
But those were words I could never take back.
37
BECK
“Whoa, didn’t expect you back tonight,” Mason said as I walked up the back stairs onto the deck. He, Parker and Cole had all gotten a head start, obviously. Pia and Delaney had said the same thing. They were watching a chick flick in the living room and had hardly looked up, except for Pia to ask, “What are you doing back so early?”
“Grab a beer.” Parker opened the lid of a cooler.
“You lazy motherfuckers. The kitchen’s right in there.” I pointed inside.
“Yeah? You go in there and rattle a beer bottle around,” Parker said. “See what happens.”
The ladies had looked rather intense.
“And this is why living alone, no one to complain if you get a drink, is the way to go.” Cole had his feet up on a wicker ottoman in front of him.
“You don’t get lonely in that sparse-ass apartment?” I asked, using the bottle opener and taking my beer to the railing. The view was as good as it got, Mason’s inheritance in one hell of a prime location. Unlike other places around the lake where the houses were on top of each other, he had enough land to actually afford a bit of privacy.
“Nope.”
“Liar.” Mason tossed a bottle cap at him.
“I get my needs met,” he said, to which all three of us laughed. No doubt he did. Cole was a good-looking guy, especially if a woman liked the Clark Kent-turned-Superman thing. He had more than his share of secrets that most people would be surprised to learn about.
“I’m sure you do,” Parker muttered. “But there’s something to be said for an actual relationship. I know we thought it was a bad idea?—”
“It’s a terrible fucking idea.”
We all ignored Cole.
