Perian nodded. That made sense.
Brannal continued, “If we were on patrol and especially if we’d been dispatched because of a demon sighting, the situation would be different. Then, we’d be expecting to be overrun at any point.”
Perian made a face.
“If it were just me tonight,” Brannal added, “I would probably walk around, less because I’m concerned we’re likely to encounter anything and more to make sure I don’t fall asleep. That’s actually the bigger danger when it’s a quiet, boring night. It’s crucial to stay awake.”
Perian nodded. “Of course. Is that why you agreed to company?”
“I always want to spend time with you,” Brannal assured him simply.
Perian leaned his head against the man’s strong shoulder.
“Thank you for coming out here with me. I really appreciate it.”
“Is it everything you imagined?” There was a lilt of amusement in Brannal’s voice.
Perian laughed softly. “It’s absolutely nothing at all like I imagined, but it’s still been really fun. Just different fun from what I originally expected.”
Brannal nodded.
“But Iamreally glad to be doing this,” Perian added, wanting to make sure Brannal understood. “And I appreciate that you came up with ways to have training that are also fun.”
Brannal was silent for a moment before he said quietly, “I do try.”
Perian curled their fingers together and then pulled up their joined hands to press a kiss to the back of Brannal’s hand. He’d said he’d keep his body parts to himself, but he hoped this didn’t count.
“That wasn’t a complaint.”
Brannal sighed. “I know everyone would have preferred if this were simply for fun.”
“Molun likes to complain for laughs and because it’s expected of him,” Perian countered. “Everyone has enjoyed everything we’ve done so far, and I’m sure they’ll enjoy tomorrow as well. They know who you are, Brannal, and they understand Summus.”
Another sigh, and Brannal pulled Perian a little closer. “Sometimes, it’s hard to figure out how to bethat now.”
Perian considered this. “It was easier before?” he asked quietly. “Before me?”
Brannal pressed a kiss to his head. “I suppose so, yes. But it was also lonelier before you. And I didn’t have you, which obviously makes it worse.”
And Perian could only smile.
“It was simple on the estate, too,” he admitted. “After Father died, it got a littletoosimple. There was absolutely nothing I needed to do and almost no one I needed to interact with. The days could slip away like they weren’t even happening. It was actually a pretty weird feeling, to be honest; I would suddenly realize that weeks had gone by. Coming to the city was sort of an act of desperation. I did it a few times, when it got unbearable, but then it would feel too weird here in the city, too empty even with all the people, so I’d go back home again.”
Brannal pressed a kiss to his head. “I’m sorry you lost him.”
Perian nodded. “He was my one person. It never occurred to me that I could lose him until I did. I wasn’t prepared at all.”
“It’s an awful feeling,” Brannal agreed.
Perian squeezed his hand. “Sorry, that was insensitive.”
They’d both lost their families, but Perian had only been thinking about himself.
Brannal shook his head. “It isn’t a comparison. It was terrible for both of us. I was even younger than you, but it was the precipitating event that led me to the castle and to the great purpose that has sustained me for almost twenty years. You lost your father, and it sounds like it cut you loose from everything.”
Perian swallowed heavily, a lump in his throat. “That’s what it felt like, as if I was in danger of becoming unmoored, and so I tied myself to the estate, because that was what my father had bought for us, where he wanted us to be a family. It was really the only connection I had left, but it’s not aperson. I couldn’t imagine where else to go or what else to do.”
“Until I found you,” Brannal said.
