Instead, it had all broken apart in his hands, and nothing that Cormal did to try to mend it seemed to make it better.
“Of course,” Cormal said, striving for a matter-of-fact tone, like absolute formality with his Secundus was exactly what he was hoping to achieve in life. “I trust that the Princess’s birthday celebration continued in my absence. Thank you for attending.”
Molun’s bright blue eyes caught his. “I believe Renny loathed every minute of it, actually.”
Because the one thing she’d wanted was the one thing that Cormal and the Queen had ensured she couldn’t have: Perian in attendance.
Several people had taken the time to point that out to Cormal.
Incensed, he snapped, “Everyone in the castle was in danger! I was protecting us, which is a Mage Warrior’s sworn duty!”
Molun stiffened, a wince flickering across his face, which meant he’d strained his leg again.
“Would you like to read reports, or would you like us to destroy the office?” he asked coldly.
Cormal sucked in a sharp breath and made himself let it out slowly. “Let’s look at the reports.”
Molun nodded sharply, and that was the end of that.
There was nothing particularly unusual, which was a good thing, really. The last thing he wanted was for them to be overrun by demons. But Cormal still felt like there was something missing, like there was a huge piece of what he should be doing that was just… absent.
People, some quiet part of him tried to point out. It was people that were missing. He pushed that thought away as hard as he could, stuffing it into a dark corner of his mind. Because he couldn’t help that. He couldn’t control what Brannal had chosen to do, nor the fractures that had resulted in the Mage Warrior team.
Except that he was Summus now, and he was supposed to be in charge of bringing them all together. It felt a little more useless than Cormal had expected. Like he was powerless and alone when he should have had the full force of the Mage Warriors behind him.
They finished the reports, marking their progress and sightings on the map Brannal had designed.
(How could Cormal ever forget? Memories of the man were everywhere, and he couldn’t just tear them down and start over.Not even if he wanted to. And he didn’t—How could he simply dismiss almost twenty years of friendship and caring? Even if Brannal was willing to so easily abandon him, that didn’t mean that Cormal was ready to do the same.)
Molun pushed himself to his feet, pain flashing across his face, making his skin look more washed out than normal.
“The doctor is keeping you supplied with tonic and salve?” Cormal asked.
“I can do the job,” Molun said stiffly, pulling himself straighter.
“That’s not what I said,” Cormal snapped, hearing the irritation in his voice and helpless to stop it.
“Is there anything else?” Molun asked tightly.
Cormal pressed his lips together and then managed to say, “No, that’s all.”
“I’ll take the reports to Onadal.” Molun held out his hand for them.
Cormal imagined him clasping all the reports and using that cane at the same time.
“I can do it,” he offered.
Molun just stared at him, and Cormal felt his face heat as he remembered. Molun or Delana were always the ones who took the reports to Onadal, because the Captain of the Warriors had made it extremely plain what he thought of someone who would falsify a report.
“If you worked under me,” Onadal had said straight to his face, “you wouldn’t be here anymore.”
Cormal had been backed by the Queen. They’d chosen a course of action, and Cormal had executed it. He tried to hold onto that certainty, but every judgmental stare from the Captain of the Warriors, the knowledge that the man wished he wasn’t there… It stung. Cormal was the one in the right here, he wassurethat he was, and yet…
Cormal had reluctantly agreed that it was the better part of valornotto push the other man right now. The last thing Cormal needed was for someoneelseto resign. Losing Brannal had been a palpable blow. Nisal leaving had certainly not helped. Molun injured hadn’t assisted anything. Gribon had resigned, as well, though it was likely Onadal would have dismissed him otherwise for his part in what had happened to Perian.
Cormal had defended him, had offered to go to the Queen to explain how Gribon had assisted Cormal, but the man had told him not to with a look that was very nearly like loathing, and then he’d resigned, stating that he thought it best if he not work in the castle anymore.
Cormal hated everything some days—the whole castle that he was supposed to be protecting.
