Cormal
While part of Cormal wanted to find more people to try to apologize to, he went to read more of the books on magic instead. It was essential they did this, and it didn’t look good if Cormal wasn’t there. He might be trying to wrangle his own life, but he still wanted to help Kinan in any way that he could. The next bookcouldbe the one that had a solution.
He sighed.
“What was that for?” Prince Kinan asked quietly. “Is the book that boring?”
Cormal shook his head. “I mean, yes, it’s absolutely that boring, but I was thinking about other things. Could I talk to you for a few minutes before dinner?”
The Princess shot Cormal a glare at the same time that Kinan’s lips quirked up, and he said, “You can have as much time as you want, since I never have to worry about missing dinner.”
Cormal’s lips flattened. Kinan could only stare at the rest of them eating if he attended because he couldn’t touch anything. He couldn’t taste anything. Yet one more way that his life was terrible.
The Prince frowned. “Hey, it’s all right. I’d be happy to talk to you. It was a joke.”
Cormal managed a nod, forcing a smile so that some of the worry left Kinan’s eyes.
The Princess shot him one more poisonous look before she went back to her book. This was the one room where she didn’t run away from Cormal, but Cormal knew better than to even try to talk to her here. He didn’t want to do anything that would make the Princess feel that she couldn’t be here, trying to help Kinan. Plus, this wasn’t a conversation he wanted to have in front of a large chunk of Mage Warriors.
Cormal made himself concentrate so that he was actually taking the words in. If he missed something that could help Kinan, he’d never forgive himself.
Unrelated to his apology, he’d written to Nisal after he’d gotten over his irritation from the Head Librarian’s letter. The Great Library was bigger by far than the one they had here in the castle. Had they really gone through the whole thing so quickly? It was true they weren’t doing the other training that the Mage Warriors did, and they weren’t interrupted by having to goout on actual demon hunts, but… had theydefinitelylooked through everything? Did the issue not seem pressing because they couldn’tseethe Prince and his predicament?
But Nisal was there, and Cormal was sure they would be championing Kinan’s cause.
No, there was a terrible chance that the reason they hadn’t found anything was because there was nothing to find.
Cormal felt like he was missing something, but he wasn’t sure if he felt that way because there wasactuallysomething missing or if it was just that hewantedsomething to be missing. He certainly wasn’t ready to concede that a solution wasn’t there to be found, and he genuinely meant it when he’d told Kinan that he’d be happy to serve him whether he had a physical form or not.
But he wanted the other man to have a physical form again forhimself. As in so many things, unfortunately, Cormal wishing desperately for a solution wasn’t enough to make one appear. Not yet, anyway. He would keep wishing, and he would read every single one of these books himself, if he had to.
Finally, the dinner hour arrived, and the Mage Warriors marked their spots and left with a collective relief that he couldn’t actually blame them for—but he did wish they didn’t seem quite so anxious to stop doing something that might help Kinan.
The Princess glared at Cormal again when the Prince remained behind, and Cormal looked between them. Should he try to talk to her now after all?
“It’s all right, Renny,” Kinan told her, not seeming at all concerned. “Go ahead.”
If the Princess could throw fireballs, Cormal was pretty sure she would have figured out a way to make them work on him, and he would have been fried to a crisp long ago.
She came close to stomping out, and Kinan gazed after her affectionately before he transferred his gaze back to Cormal. The expression stayed… remarkably fond.
Cormal swallowed.
“What’s up?” Kinan asked.
“I was hoping you could convince your sister to listen to me when I try to apologize.”
Kinan winced slightly.
Cormal nodded. “No, I know it’s not likely to work, but I can’t not try. I hurt her the most.” A thought struck him, and he made a face, hastening to add, “If you don’t feel that you can do it as her brother, please say so. I don’t ever want you to feel like I’m asking you to do something you shouldn’t! Truly, I—”
But Kinan reached out and put a hand on—well, near—Cormal’s arm.
“No, it’s not that. I don’t mind asking. But I… don’t think you’re going to get the results you’re hoping for, and I don’t want it to hurtyou.”
Cormal swallowed again, managing a slightly wobbly smile at the younger man. “I wouldn’t ever blame you for that. And not being forgiven isn’t a reason not to try to apologize, you know? I think it’s something I have to do for me, and maybe it’ll just upset other people, but I hope that maybe eventually, even if not right now, it’ll be good for them, too.” He huffed a breath. “As someone who’s carried around a lot of anger, I can attest to the fact that it’s toxic.” He laughed. “Also that someone telling me to let it go when I wasn’t ready to do so was a good way to get a fireball lobbed in their face. I swear, I’m ready for anything.” He winked. “Even being kneed in the groin again, if that’s what she needs to do.”
The Prince bit his lip, and then he couldn’t seem to keep the amusement in, and he started to laugh, his eyes bright withmirth, making him look even more beautiful. “Oh, the look on your face.”
