Miranda Williams had always been a dead ringer for her mom, and now all I can see is Miranda’s smile and sparkling eyes and—shit.
“Dylan?”
I hear Sunny, but she sounds so far away, and why is it so fucking warm in October? Five minutes ago there was a breeze, but now there’s no breeze, and where the hell is the breeze? Miranda’s mom begins to walk my way, but she mustn’t see me because she’s still smiling, andfuck, she looks so much like Miranda it’s like I’m seeing a fucking ghost.
By some miracle, my legs finally unlock. I bolt between booths, duck behind a scarecrow staked into a hay bale, and crouch in a narrow alley.
What was it that Sarah always said to do?
I tug on my T-shirt collar and force myself to take a breath, counting to three on the inhale, then pushing the air back out through my lips to the count of four. Colors. I need to think of stuff that’s blue.
Okay…um….the sky, that’s blue.
The scarecrow’s plaid shirt. The bottle cap over by the other wall. My jeans. With each item I find during my solo game of I Spy, my heart beats a little slower.
By the time I’m breathing normally, my legs have turned completely numb.
Sarah has been pushing me to visit Miranda’s mom in order to put my past behind me once and for all, but if today is any indication, I won’t be going anywhere near my ex-girlfriend’s family. Miranda may have been gone for twelve years, but these wounds are still bleeding and I’m not sure they’ll ever stop.
Eventually, I stand up and peer into the crowd, searching for Miranda’s mom, but she must’ve moved on.Thank god. I slip back out of the alley, but my heart is still skipping around in my chest, like Ella when she’s playing hopscotch. I paste on a smile and move toward my sisters and Sunny, who appears oblivious to my meltdown.
Alex gives me a nod, and Iris thanks me for taking Ella this morning so they could get caught up at the store.
I glimpse Jade at the stall outside Quinn Brothers. She’s with a young woman with black hair, who’s smiling and chatting to some customers. I vaguely remember Jade’s sister Ruby. The two of them couldn’t look any more different, but they both have the same warm smiles that seem to hold nothing back.
Just seeing Jade makes the tightness in my chest loosen a little bit more.
Her eyes connect with mine for a brief moment before returning to the sour-faced woman inspecting a creepy piece of pottery. Not really your usual stock for a convenience store, but it seems to be bringing in the customers. People are lined up down the street for Jade’s stall. I scan the customers for one face in particular but find no one familiar.
I still haven’t spoken to Jade since showing up to her house uninvited. Not sure why I thought she’d come by and see me after I told her my deepest, darkest secrets. Two days ago, I nearly called out to her when I saw her locking up the store, but then I spotted the police cruiser parked outside and decided to leave it. Accidentally running into Nate Williams is bad enough. I’m not about to do it on purpose.
Sunny claps her hand beneath her chin and does this bouncy thing on her toes like Ella does when she needs to pee. “Oh my gosh. Quinn Brothers! I used to love going there when I was little. It hasn’t changed at all. Does Archie Quinn still own it?” she asks, whipping out that notebook again.
“I think so, but his daughter Jade runs the place,” I say, my heart rate finally getting back to normal. “They have just about everything you need if you’re staying in town.” I fish my keys from my pocket, needing a minute to collect myself, maybe grab a glass of water, or lock myself inside and hide for the rest of the day. “I’m going to run upstairs. I’ll just be a sec.”
Sunny doesn’t get the hint and follows me inside, talking about her memories of eating at Harringtons and getting ice cream here. She glances toward the sheets of plastic hanging over the back windows but doesn’t ask why they’re there or about the plans for this place. Upstairs, I grab my old Pentax camera from my room and a leather harness so I won’t have to carry a bag.
Sunny, who’s followed me up, turns in a circle, taking in the stark space with a smile inching along her lips. “Wow, Dylan. Your place has so much personality.”
If I had any plans to stay in Still Springs, I probably would have paid someone to paint the white walls, but as it stands, this apartment will be a blank canvas for the next tenant as soon as I leave. After the contractors finish tiling the bathroom, Iris plans to flip the place for a decent profit. “I have a condo in Austin. This is only temporary.”
“Austin is a great city. I love it there.” She smiles like she expects an invitation from me to visit, but she’s barking up the wrong tree.
“Yeah, it is. You ready to go back out?”
The way she purses her lips and glances at my bedroom door makes me think she’s about to suggest something, but then she nods and follows me back down to the street.
After a quick recon to ensure I’m not going to run into any more ghosts from my past, I pop the lens cap off my camera and adjust the settings so that the sun peeking through the heavy clouds doesn’t wash everything out.
The best part of being on this side of a camera is that everyone who sees you seems to stop and actually smile.
Like the group of rowdy teens in soccer jerseys. Not a scowl or a judgmental stare in sight.
“I forgot you were a photographer,” Sunny remarks when I kneel down to take a picture of a little girl about Ella’s age whose ice cream has melted all over her hands, careful not to get her face in the frame for privacy.
I shrug and say, “It pays the bills.” It also calms me when I’m feeling anxious. There’s something comforting about being able to hide behind a lens, almost like you’re invisible. Yeah, people see the camera, but they’re rarely looking at the person holding it.
Without thinking, my gaze travels back to the Quinn Brothers booth. Muted sunlight catches Jade’s gorgeous face just right, and I snap a picture. The way she and her dad laugh leaves my chest aching.
