A nervous tremor tenses my stomach. “No, monster, we’re just friends.”
Iris is silent for way too long. I can almost hear the gears in her mind turning as she taps her fingernail against the glass. “Have you talked to yourfriendabout Quinn Brothers?” she eventually asks. “Is she interested in selling?”
My brow lines. “That’s something you’ll have to ask Jade.”
Iris’s lips lift into a slow smile. “Maybe I’ll ask Hayley instead. You know, since they’rebest friends.”
Man, she’s vicious today. She looks like she wants to say more, but then her eyes widen, and she clutches the strap on her purse still slung over her arm. “Can I use your bathroom?”
“No, I’m going to make you pee on the street.”
“I saw a dog pee on a street before,” Ella chimes in, now terrorizing the doll with sky-blue eyeshadow.
Iris rolls her eyes but doesn’t wait for my permission. The bathroom door slams shut, and I nearly sink onto the ground with relief. That is until she opens the door a few minutes later and I catch the tears in her eyes.
When I ask what’s wrong, she glances over at Ella before turning back to me and whispering, “I’m pregnant.”
My lips fall open. That explains the mood swings today. Wow. Baby number two. I didn’t even realize that Iris and Justin were trying. “Congrats. That’s great.” When Iris nods but doesn’t smile, I add, “Right?”
Her voice breaks. “This baby won’t know Mom or Dad. Even Ella is going to forget them.”
My chest twists. Fuck. She’s right. This kid won’t know Mom’s infectious laugh or Dad’s terrible jokes. We won’t have any pictures of them holding the new baby at the hospital or videos of them singing off-key at the first birthday party. That’s the trouble with losing someone you love. No matter how much you strive to keep their memory alive, those memories in your head aren’t transferable. You can tell all the stories you want, but it’ll never be the same as them being here.
I wrap my arms around my sister, my own eyes burning with tears when she buries her head in my shoulder. “We won’t forget,” I promise.
“Yeah, but you won’t be around.”
She’s right. I’m leaving after Christmas, and I have no plans to come back. But I’ll have to, won’t I? Iris doesn’t like to fly, and with two kids and Justin’s crazy work schedule, she won’t have much time to come visit in Austin.
For a moment, I let myself consider alternative options.
Consider…staying.
I could get a bigger place here that would be a hell of a lot cheaper than my condo in Austin. I could help Iris with Ella and the new baby if she’s stuck. Traveling for shoots wouldn’t be that hard. I could see Jade…and the prick she ends up with. Somebody nice and respectable. An accountant or a bank manager, or a guy named Steve who works at the DMV.
Maybe I don’t want to stay.
Iris’s shaky breath fans against my cheek as she pulls away and smooths a hand down her stomach. “I need to get to work. Don’t tell anyone, okay? We’re keeping it in the family until I get through the first trimester.”
“Yeah, no problem. Congratulations, sis.”
She gives me a tearful smile and a wobbly “Thanks” before leaving me alone with a little monster, a possessed doll, and a lot of thinking left to do.
* * *
Ella keeps pickingup bottles of nail polish, frowning, and putting them back, only to choose a different color. My legs are going numb from the way I’m sitting cross-legged beside her on the rug, but I’m afraid to move in case she remembers she has other makeup. I’m cool with the polish she smeared on my nails, but I don’t think I can pull off lipstick.
Ella lets out a frustrated groan. “None of these go with her dress.”
I don’t point out that the doll I’ve “lovingly” named Lady-Fingers isn’t wearing a dress. “What color do you need?”
She purses her lips as she fastens yet another barrette into the doll’s hair. I already have two in my hair as well, but it’s kind of nice having the front strands out of my eyes.
“I need green,” she says.
If I had a car, I’d suggest running to Kings, but since I don’t… “Want to see if Jade has any green?”
Ella is up and at the door before I can haul myself to my feet. Her tutu bounces up and down as she dances with excitement. My stomach buzzes with nerves the whole way to the store and doesn’t stop until the bell above the door chimes and Jade glances up. Our gazes connect, and my breath stalls in my lungs.
