A few months ago, maybe I would’ve agreed with Hayley, but now? I close my eyes and inhale deeply, once, twice. By the third breath, I don’t exactly feel calm, but I do feel steady enough to tell Hayley the truth. “What if I’m not going to ruin her? She’s all I can think about.”
Hayley sighs and shakes her head. “How long is that going to last, Dyl? Jade isn’t a hit-it-and-quit-it kind of girl.”
“I know that.”
“So, what? Are you going to stay in Still Springs? Because she’s never wanted to live anywhere else.”
“I don’t know. Maybe.” There are worse places in the world to live than Still Springs. I think I can really help Jade with the store, I’d love to be around for Iris when the new baby comes, and I’d get to hang out with Ella whenever I want.
Hayley’s chin jerks back. “You’re serious.”
“Hell yes, I’m serious.” The words fly out before I can stop them and…holy shit. They’re true. I’m so fucking serious about Jade it’s scary. That’s why her not telling Ruby about us hurts so much.
I’m one step away from being all in, and it feels like Jade’s one step away from being all out.
Hayley purses her lips and studies me for the longest time before letting out a heavy sigh. “Well, then…I guess I was wrong. And I’m sorry.”
I finally walk around to the other side of the island and wrap my sister in a hug. “I’m sorry too, Buttons.”
Her hands come around my back, and she squeezes me tight. “Don’t hurt her, Pickle.”
I don’t plan on hurting Jade. But that doesn’t mean she won’t hurt me.
CHAPTERTWENTY-NINE
JADE
While grippingmy toothbrush with one hand, I use my other to reach for my ringing phone, silently hoping it’s Dylan. Coming back to Grandma’s house yesterday didn’t bring me the relief I thought it would. While I am anxious to get back to the store, I already miss the quiet peace of being at the springs…the total lack of responsibility…the sweet intimacy of sharing a space withhim.
But the name flashing on the screen makes my brush pause inside my mouth and my eyes widen.I hurriedly spit and grab a hand towel to wipe toothpaste off my mouth before picking up the call.
“Hayley… Hi.” My gut draws tight. I’m not sure how I feel about Hayley right now. Yes, I should’ve told her right away that I’d been seeing her brother, but her intense reaction to it has left a bitter taste in my mouth.
“I’m so sorry to call you this early,” she says, “but I’m outside your door and you’re not answering. Are you home, or have you left already?”
“No. Shit, sorry. I’m in the bathroom and didn’t hear the door. I’ll be right there.” I hang up, then dash down the carpeted hallway to the front door, taking a deep breath before flinging it open.
Hayley hovers on the concrete porch with a designer tote bag hanging from one shoulder and a sheepish crease between her eyes. Behind her, the faint wail of a siren cuts through the melodic chirps of birds fluttering through the orangey leaves of the maple trees.
“Got time for a quick chat?” she asks before swallowing hard.
“Sure.” I open the door wider, and she steps past me, bringing a whiff of fruity perfume. Normally, we’d go in for a hug, but not this time. Instead, I trail Hayley into the living room, glancing at my watch. I planned to head into Quinn Brothers early today. Ruby told me that the store was practically dead while I was away, apart from the online orders, but I need something to distract my brain from thinking about Dylan. After our awkward exchange about Ruby at the cabin, he’d come back later that night, but he hadn’t raised the topic again, and neither had I. I hadn’t wanted to admit to him that I’m nervous to tell Ruby I’m falling for the only guy she’s ever warned me against. He’d then know how I feel about him, and what if he doesn’t feel the same? How mortifying would that be?
We hadn’t even slept together that night, and the following morning, I woke to find him gone, along with his camera and bike. That left me feeling icky, like he didn’t want to be around me anymore but was too polite to say so. Which is fair enough; I’m not his girlfriend, and I’d taken up more than enough of his time. So, I packed up my things, wrote him a thank you note, and drove home. Ruby insisted on working one last day at the store, so I spent most of yesterday with Dad, going over his hospital admission forms and watching old Seinfeld reruns with him at his house. Dylan and I have texted a few times, but it’s been stilted. Hence the need to divert my brain from overthinking all this.
Hayley clears her throat, stealing back my attention. She leans forward from the adjacent floral couch to cup my knee. “I’m sorry, babe,” she says, remorse crowding her features. “I was going to call you yesterday and say this, but then I decided I wanted to do it in person.” She lets out a trembling breath. “I said some out-of-line things to you and Dylan on Halloween night, and I can own that. I was a complete bitch, and I’m sorry.”
Thisis the Hayley I know and love. My chest softens. “It’s okay. I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about Dylan and me. I honestly had no intention of dating your brother, but it kind of just…happened.”
Hayley glances down with a sigh. “I might’ve been a bit too forceful about the whole thing. I mean…is it weird thinking about you guys together? Definitely. Am I envious at the thought of you liking him more than you do me? Of course.”
“That won’t happen.” I have more than enough room in my heart to love Hayleyandher… That unexpected thought train makes my stomach flip hard. I don’t love Dylan…do I?
“But,” Hayley adds, “do I think the two of you looked beyond adorable together?” She rolls her eyes. “Okay, yes. And you might find this hard to believe, but the biggest reason I was so against it was because I didn’t wantyouto get hurt, Jade.”
My insides knot up. “I know.” Her subtle reminder that Dylan “leaves a wreckage of broken hearts wherever he goes” is what I need to hear, as painful as it is. But I also knew that going in, and the ugly truth is that it’s too late to save me now. I’m already in deep enough to become another piece of that wreckage, but when Dylan tells me he’s leaving for Austin and that we should “stay in touch,” I’ll face the firing squad with my head held high. I chose to have a fling with him rather than nothing at all, and whether that was the right decision or not, it’s too late to change it.
“I love you so much,” Hayley says, and I lift off the couch to pull her into a hug, repeating those words back to her. After we break apart, she digs through her tote bag and pulls out a copy ofLuxe Travel USA. “I also brought this as a bit of a peace offering,” she says, handing me the glossy magazine. “Sunny Gillespie’s article just came out about Fall Fest, and I thought you might want to see it.”
