“I’m jealous of you,” I finally say, staring guiltily at my feet. “I was mad at you for a few minutes there.”
He huffs. “I never wanted to have a mate. She’ll just end up being another pawn for my parents to control.”
“She didn’t look happy to find you either, so can’t you just not bond?” I remember Shaun saying something once about how the bond isn’t official until a couple has sex.
“We can try,” Evan says. “But it’s hard. If we resist, the stars will just keep throwing us together till we finally give in.”
“If anyone can tell the stars to get fucked, it’s you,” I say, waving a hand at him.
He barks out a laugh, but it’s hollow.
We fall silent.
After a moment, Evan sits up on the bed and beckons me closer with his pointer finger. I finally step fully into the room and go to stand in front of him.
“Sces, can you take my mind off this?” He reaches out and grips my hand. “I need to feel pain. Something to ground me besides this anger.”
I tilt my head to the side. “I don’t think I should do that.” I lift a finger to his chin and bring his gaze to mine. I hold out my arm, covered in thin little scars. “Trust me, it doesn’t help.”
His gaze is hard as he unbuttons his shirt and slips it off, revealing his pale smooth torso beneath. “I don’t care right now. Feed on me,” he says, pulling me forward so I’m forced to kneel between his legs on the mattress. He leans back and I hover over him, my siren teeth pushing through my gums despite my reluctance.
But I’m starving since denying myself a bite of Bliss the night before.
Evan grins at me, running his hand down the center of my chest, fingers playing over my shirt. I pull it off to save it from getting blood on it, since Evan won’t be able to clean it right away with his magic after I feed from him. I push myself on top of him as he settles back into the pillows.
Pillows that are about to be splattered with his blood.
I tear into his shoulder first, the smoky scent of him filling my nose, while the spicy copper of his blood floods my mouth. I rip pieces of him out and he groans in pain, his face a grimace, his teeth clenching together. I have enough control that I can pepper kisses on his flesh as I continue to maul him, trying to soothe the sting and pain a little, but I know it doesn’t help much. He cradles the back of my head, encouraging me to keep going.
“Take everything you need,” he hisses out between bites.
So I do. I eat until I feel completely full. In my post-feasting haze, I curl up next to Evan, licking a bit of blood off his chest as I snuggle into him. I can still hear his heart beating nice and strong, so I fall asleep next to him, completely content.
“Well, I’m not gonna lie, I’m a little jealous,” Benny says from the doorway of the bedroom. I ease my eyes open and stare at him, noting Evan’s scent enveloping me. “You sure did a number on him, Sces.”
I grimace and look over at Evan. He’s started to heal, but he needs warmth to help recharge his powers. The bed is covered in his blood and it’s dried around my mouth.
“You clean yourself up. I’ll make sure he gets warm enough to heal.”
I crawl out from Evan’s side, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. He smiles faintly, like he’s somewhere nice in his dreams, but he continues to sleep peacefully. I get it now. My feeding off him put him to sleep, where he can escape his real world problems.
“Sces, use me next time, okay?” Benny says as I pass him in the doorway. “I don’t like seeing him like this.”
“I don’t like seeing any of you like this,” I mutter. I try to leave, but Benny grabs my arm.
“You know we don’t judge you for this. It’s your nature. It’s who you are, and we love you.”
“Even if I’m a Made monster?” I try to say the words jokingly, but it falls flat, serious.
“If you’re a monster, then so am I,” Benny says with a shrug.
“Doesn’t it bother you that we don’t get to have mates? Why did the stars do that to us? Are we really that bad?” The questions pour out, even though I don’t mean to voice them.
Benny forces a smile. “Just because we don’t have a magical mate bonding ceremony, doesn’t mean we can’t fall in love. Andhey, I have you all, and for now that’s enough for me. Now go shower. You’re making me hungry.” He eyes the blood and I turn and look at Evan again.
“Will you be okay with him like that?”
Benny nods but swallows thickly.
