He looks at me, a ravenous gleam in his eye. “You still need more healing,” he says. “I shouldn’t.”
“Drink, and then come back tomorrow and fuck me again.” Post sex, I really don’t sound like myself.
I close my eyes, and for a few seconds I think he’s left, but then I feel his fangs bite into me as gently as they can. He only takes a few sips of me and retracts, giving me another kiss, this time on the forehead. I hear the bed creak as he settles down next to me. His arms wrap around my middle as I drift off.
Pale morning light drifts in through the cracks in the blinds. It takes me a few moments to return to the present. I jolt upright in my old bed, looking around at all the familiar surroundings. I wasn’t really in the right state of mind to take in everything about my old room yesterday. I was in too much pain and too low on power to even care where I was.
How many times have I woken up to the room looking exactly this way? The dust moats swirling in the air exactly as they are now? The hushed sounds of birds flitting in and out as they sing outside my window, as they always have? It feels sonormal to wake up here, but at the same time, there’s a sense that I no longer belong.
The Bliss that hung up all these old rock and metal band posters would have laughed if I’d told her I now work at a country bar.
I pull my old worn pastel pink comforter around my shoulders as I turn around and look up at the posters I’d hung above my bed. The one to my left is a Goddess’ Trance poster. My sister stands in the middle clad all in black, with her long flowing dark hair and dark makeup. Dericia stands to her right, draping her arm over Amelia’s shoulder, her braids collected together in a larger braid that falls over her shoulder. The two are surrounded by the rest of the band. I can make out Taser and Tubbs—the drummer—standing further back to either side. But there is a rip down the poster, tearing it into two halves right where the fifth member should be between Amelia and Tubbs. Despite the tear, the poster has stayed up on the wall. It’s been there so long it’s practically glued to the paint.
The face missing from the poster haunts me more often than not, but I put that out of my mind by looking at the poster next to it. It features artwork from Voracious Maw’s second album. Three years ago I caught Amelia hanging it up for me, wanting to replace the ripped poster with it. But I told her just to put it next to the damaged one. It didn’t matter, because I was leaving. I wasn’t going to make her choose between me and her band, so I moved out. Got a different job. Tried to move on with my life.
I stand up on my bed, facing the posters, my comforter falling from my shoulders with the movement. I reach out and let my fingers trail the red and black details of the poster on the right. This album got me through that period of my life. And for that reason, even though I love their music and they are probably my favorite band of all time, I never came back to retrieve the poster and hang it up at my apartment.
It just reminded me of where I was at around the time when the album released.
I let out a sigh and hop off my bed, picking up an empty water glass I drained before falling asleep.
As I make my way down the stairs to refill it in the kitchen, I hear voices. Taser and Amelia’s muffled conversation barely reaches the top of the stairs. I must have woken up when Taser got up to leave my room. He didn’t need to. I enjoy cuddling more than sex, honestly, and I always loved it when he stayed the night and was there in the morning. He knows that.
As I hit the last stair, the hushed tone of their conversation makes me stop short. Taser and Amelia stand in the open living space that sits next to the foyer. I can see them through two columns in the half wall that separate the stairs from the living room. I smile to myself as my eyes roam Taser’s broad back, his shoulder blades biting through his shirt. He holds his shoes, obviously on his way out the door.
“How’d you get her to agree? I figured she would have put up more of a fight.”
“I told her Stacey and I broke up,” comes Taser’s whispered reply. Hmm, that’s a weird way to phrase it.
“You broke up?” Amelia asks, surprise in her voice.
He shakes his head.
“Oh.”
The high from sex is doused immediately.
Tears well in my eyes and I race back up the stairs, throwing on some old clothes I never bothered taking with me. I climb out my window like I’ve done countless times before, needing to get the hell out of here.
CHAPTER SIX
PISCES
Bitsof the wispy rift particles cling to my skin, hair, and clothes as we break through the portal but almost seem to scurry back into formation like ducklings to their mother. The rift has always seemed nurturing to me, passing through the foggy membrane an obvious metaphor for birth. The first time I went through a portal rift, I felt as if my very being was ripped apart and put together again. I puked up my earlier meal as Evan and Benny held me from completely crumbling to the ground.
Now it’s just a gentle push through a thin purple film of a cloud-like substance. The four of us step through easily, careful not to touch the azkanite stone on either side. In gas form, the purple crystal is what powers the portals. In solid form, it’s so powerful, the effects are unpredictable. A fae could end up in a totally different place in the world than they intended, sometimes with their torso separated from their legs—though that might have just been Evan trying to scare me.
There are legends too, of fae touching that stone and completely vanishing, never being found again.
Maybe these are just children’s stories, told to make sure fae children don’t let go of their parents’ hands while traveling.
But I’m not going to test it out to confirm.
We come out of the portal along a path that leads up to Evan’s family’s estate. I’ve been here once before to announce myself to the fae council. The estate serves as the family home and is connected by portal to the headquarters for the fae council in Europe. All other councils in other countries answer to this one.
Evan and Benny brought me here, acting as my sponsors. It was a fairly quick and painless process to be registered, but it was clear from the looks of every Born fae that Benny and I were beneath them. I brace myself for that same veiled vitriol now as we head up the path.
I’ve been in a piss poor mood since Evan and Shaun left for Shaun’s bond activation ceremony the day before. They came back in high spirits. I hid in my room almost all night. I couldn’t help but think that if I was Born, my bond would have been activated two years ago. Benny and I—being Made fae—weren’t allowed to attend the ceremony, let alone participate in it. Our blood is that of wraiths, apparently meaning we have no bonds to activate.
