I told myself that over and over and over again after I woke up in the hospital.
Because I thought I had drowned.
I almost did.
Everything had almost winked out for me as I struggled to get out of the car. As water filled it at a rate that sent me into a panic.
I force air out through my lips and breathe in fully through my nose.
I’m here. I’m alive.
Even if the guilt eats at me. It’s better to feel that than nothing at all, I remind myself.
The chilly night air absorbs some of my spiraling, forcing an alertness into my body. It’s why I come out here at night. It’s hard to get angry or frustrated or upset when it’s so damn cold out.
The cold air demands a clear head.
I’m about to leave when I notice him, standing a few paces away, staring at me.
I recognize the wraith instantly.
No surprise there. His face haunts me almost as often as hers does.
“You.” It’s all I can say. I mean it in a threatening way, but the word comes out pathetically. I’ve started charging at him before I can even stop myself or think that maybe it’s not the best idea to attack the demon that turned me.
A song wraith.
Shaun brought me a few books on song wraiths—the few he was able to get hold of—but seeing as they were supposedly all banished centuries ago, I gave up ever trying to find a solution to what I’ve become.
Instead of colliding with him, I gothroughhim, crashing to the ground.
I twist myself around and look at him, my siren teeth escaping my gums without my permission. “Undo it!”
The wraith, quicker than I can even react, hauls me back up. He has me by the shirt collar and holds me off the ground, which is quite the feat considering he’s an inch or two shorter than me.
But obviously so much stronger.
“Do not attempt to bite me, siren. I will rip every one of your teeth from your mouth if you do.”
I clamp my mouth shut as he throws me to the ground. I scramble backwards across the paved walkway, the rough concrete scraping at my skin. “Why are you back? What more can you take from me?”
“I have no plans totakefrom you. I would like to give instead.”
“What does that mean?”
He crouches in front of me, and I can’t help but think his pristine slacks and button-down shirt won’t have a single wrinkle when he stands back up.
“I will admit, I did not expect you to survive. You had so much pain in you that night.” The alley. He tricked me into feeding him. After Evan and Shaun explained the basics of how Made far are, well,made, I understood it was a miracle I’d survived. It’s the reason I’ve never met another siren in the last four years. I wouldn’t be surprised if I am the only one in existence. The wraith continues on, either oblivious to my current train of thought or un-remorseful. “But to my surprise and delight, you’ve survived.”
“Why would you care?”
“I am sure you think I relish in dealing out death, but I don’t.” He stands back up, holding out a hand to me. I ignore it and push myself to my feet. “I wish I could feed without harming innocents, but it can’t always be avoided.”
I arch my brow at him. I don’t really care what he’s going on about. I want him to undo what he did to me. “Change me back,” I say, voice hardening. “Fix me!”
The wraith gives me a condescendingly soft smile. “That I cannot do. The change you have gone through is permanent, I’m afraid.”
“At least try! There has to be some way!”
