“There was an attachment on this email, with the flyer for the event. It has all the bands listed that’ll be playing.”
She hands me back my phone and I look over the flyer, zooming in on it slightly. “What exactly am I looking at?”
“Third row from the bottom, towards the left.”
My eyes snag over a third name in between Umber Doves and Mourning Coffins. I stare at it, a numbness worming its way into my body as I read the name over and over again.
Dead Hearts.
It’s Jordan’s band.
The one he started after Amelia kicked him out of Goddess’ Trance.
I lock eyes with Amelia and simply shake my head. She’s going to be so mad at me for backing out, but there’s no way I can go to this festival now.
“Sorry.” I pocket my phone. My feet begin to carry me to the main house, and before I know it I’m shutting the door to my old bedroom and sliding down it to the ground, where I try to just focus on taking deep breaths.
“Bliss,” Amelia says through the door, softly tapping on it. “Open up.”
“No,” is all I can manage to get out.
She opens the door anyways, but it pushes against my back. “Bliss, get out of the way,” she huffs out in a way only an exasperated sister can. “Let me in.”
I crawl away from the door and it swings open. Amelia looks down at me, a softness to her expression that takes me a bit by surprise. When it comes to Jordan she is always so harsh, telling me exactly what I need to do. Trying to protect me in the only way she knows how.
“Are you alright?” she asks as she sits on the floor beside me. I let my head fall to her shoulder, inviting her energy to protect me. Her arm wraps me up in her protective and fierce fire, shielding me.
“I can’t see him,” I tell her.
“Can’t? Or don’t want to?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes,” Amelia says simply, pausing for a minute to allow the silence in the room to wash over us.
Finally she speaks again. “Bliss, ‘can’t’ means it’s out of your control. And if that’s true, that’s fine, we can work with that. But if youcanand you just don’t want to, that’s different. There’spower in admitting that. It becomes your choice then. I’m just worried you’ll miss out on the festival because you think youcan’twhen really you can and just don’t want to.” When the fuck did she get so wise?
“And if I just don’t want to?”
“Then you decide for yourself if you’re going to miss out on something this exciting and fun just because your dickhead of an ex will be there.”
“Who are you?” I ask, looking up at her.
“I’ve grown a lot in the last year,” she says haughtily, throwing her hair over her shoulder. A soft giggle escapes me, despite tears pooling in my eyes. She slaps my arm. “Bitch.”
I smile, but then it falls. “It’s not just that he was an ass, though.”
“I know.”
I lift my head up off my sister’s shoulders and roll my own, as if that movement can somehow imbue me with the strength I feel I so desperately lack. “Fine. I don’twantto see him.”
Amelia nods and gives me a soft smile. She helps me to my feet. “How do you feel about going to the festival and we’ll just avoid him? There are so many bands going, plus the crowds, the vendors—you might not even run into him.”
I nod in agreement. A tear crests over my lower lid, sliding its way down my cheek. “Okay,” is all I can manage to say. I swipe at the tear and the trail it leaves.
There’s a knock at the door and Dericia pokes her head in. “Bliss?”
I motion for her to come inside and she tiptoes forward, pulling me into a crushing hug. “Tay Tay texted me and told me what you guys just found out. I’m so sorry. What’s our plan?”
