I push it down, though, even as the newly Made fae launches at Evan, who puts out his hands to wield his magic. The ground around the vampire rumbles and cracks, and his uneven footing sends him crashing back to the now destroyed cobblestones. Benny is able to restrain his arms from behind him, but the vamp struggles against Benny and gnashes his teeth at Evan, his gaze finding mine.
I stare him down, sparing a quick glance at Shaun. He has successfully gotten the two women a safe distance away. Sunlight starts to gleam down on us. “We need to use the tranq,” Shaun orders. “Evan, heal them and get them out of here.”
Benny takes the tranq needle out of his pocket, holding on to the vampire with only one hand. The vampire falls still for a moment. He turns, sinking his teeth into Benny. He lets out a groan—probably realizing that fae taste way better than humans—and pushes Benny to the ground, the rest of us forgotten.
Maybe it’s the scent of my friend’s blood—a scent that causes me to salivate—but suddenly I’m ripping into the vamp from behind. I think Benny is able to kick himself free of our tangled limbs, but I’m not sure because all I can focus on is taking another bite and another. I turn him around, straddling him as I rip into his neck, relishing in the taste of his blood and flesh as I swallow it.
“Pisces! Let him go!” someone shouts at me.
Strong hands pull me off the vampire, who’s now gone slack and wide-eyed, staring at me likeI’mthe monster. Benny finishes his job of tranquilizing him as I sink into Evan’s side, satiated. Awareness floods back into me as the vampire’s scared expression fades into sleep.
I rip out of Evan’s hold, pulling my hood up once again as I leave my friends behind in the alleyway.
We were there to catch a monster.
Fucking hypocrites.
Because I am a monster, much more so than any vampire.
“He’s awake,” Benny says softly from the door to my bedroom. I thought I’d closed it. Locked it, actually, but Benny’s never met a lock he couldn’t magically pick.
“Is he healed?” I ask, throat tight. Images of me ripping into the poor turned vampire flash through my mind. I can see myself attacking him, my hood falling back, blood splashing my light skin and dark hair. And then later, the blood rinsing down the drain in an almost unending stream.
“Good as new.” Benny sits on my bed, but I don’t look at him. I keep my gaze on the ceiling. “Sces?” he asks, shortening my name in a way that used to annoy me when we first met.
It’s been about six years since I moved in with them, into an old church that Evan bought and slowly fixed up. It’s become a haven for the four of us and anyone else that needs it. Currently about nine of us live here, a mix of Born and Made fae and kindreds who have nowhere else to go. And it hasn’t just been a roof over my head.
I’ve found a slice of salvation—as much as a wraith-made fae like me can.
“That’s the perk of feeding off other fae. It’s really fucking hard to kill one of us that way,” Benny reminds me, picking up my hand and threading his fingers through mine. I squeeze his fingers, closing my eyes against the tears that threaten to spill. At least I haven’t fed off a human since the night I found out what I’d turned into.
But the memory of what I did that night lingers fresh in my mind, as if it happened yesterday.
“I lost control,” I manage to say, even as tears leak out of my closed lids.
“That’s normal,” Benny soothes. “It takes time to get things under control. You have to learn how to forgive yourself.”
“How did you forgive yourself?” I look at him, a sob wanting to escape me, but I take a deep breath instead. “You said you were like that vampire, that you went on a binge?”
He nods, looking out my window into the gray London sky. “I killed a lot people, Sces. I honestly don’t even remember most of it. When vampires turn we go insane with bloodlust. I’m just grateful Evan and Shaun found me when they did. And that’s why I stayed with them. It’s why I help them out,and—” he looks at me pointedly, “—it’s why I wanted to play music with you so badly.”
“Why?”
“For the same reason you write it, I suppose,” he says cryptically. I stare at him until he says more. He lets out a sigh and nudges me with his shoulder. “It’s absolving.”
Benny stands up, tugging me off the bed. “Come see the newbie vamp. He’s completely healed, awake, and not unhinged by blood anymore.” The corners of his mouth tick up. “You can apologize for trying to eat him.”
I allow Benny to lead me to the basement, where we found it was necessary to install a few barred cells to restrain newer fae when we first find them. All but one cell is empty, the vamp sitting cross-legged on a cot in the corner.
Evan’s arm snags out and stops me from entering the room. I glare at him, looking between his face and his arm. Some of his bleach blonde hair has escaped his bun. “Problem?” I grit out.
“You good?” he asks, green eyes fixed on me.
I flash my teeth at him. My normal ones. “Peachy. I ate not too long ago, if you recall.”
I push past him, knocking his arm away from me, and follow Benny into the room, catching Benny’s disapproving look to Evan. The vamp shifts on his cot once he notices me.
“Austin, this is Pisces.”
