Angellica
I can’t stop crying. This is ridiculous. I think my body actually ran out of tears hours ago, maybe days, but my body is still sobbing. This morning, I cried so hard when I woke up that I threw up all over my bathroom. So then I spent the next hour sobbing and scrubbing like I’m Cinder-freaking-ella. It’s a charming quality.
My head is pounding from crying for so long. My voice is hoarse, but I don’t care. I know I should get up and take some aspirin, drink a bottle of water or twelve, and move on with my life. But I just can’t.
I’m lying in my bed facing the door when I hear a knock. I don’t want to talk to anyone, so I roll over and face the wall instead. If I’m really quiet they’ll go away. I hope. But like always, my luck is absolute shit. I hear the knob turn and the door push open. I hold my breath and close my eyes. Soft steps cross the plush carpet of my bedroom. The bed gently depresses next to my back just a little.
“Baby girl, it’s me,” Aunt Mable whispers. I can hear the tears clogging her throat. She brushes her hand over my hair like she did when I was little, and I feel the hot tears roll down my cheeks. I guess I had some more in me after all. “I have something I have to tell you.”
“No,” I shake my head because I just can’t handle it right now. “No. I’ll be ok,” I tell her.
“No, baby. Listen,” she implores me. “When we were young, your mother and I. We grew up here in Tall Pines.”
“I already know this stuff, Aunt Mable,” I tell her sweetly.
“Hush, I’m tempted to swat your behind for interrupting, this is hard enough,” she tells me.
“Okay. I’m sorry. I’ll listen,” I tell her.
“When we were growing up, Mayor Hart was just George, and he was mine. He wasn’t the cold, hard man you see today. He was sweet and kind and he loved me very much. He wanted to run away and get married, but I wanted to wait. We were both in college. He was studying political science and I was studying nursing.
“His dad, the then Senator, felt he needed to learn a lesson. And my sister, your mother, was never one to shy away from opportunity, she went to the same party he was at one night. His father had just told him that if he married me, he would disown him, take his trust fund, and have him kicked out of school. The Senator liked everyone right where he wanted them to be, doing what he told them to.
“At this party George was licking his wounds deep in a bottle of whiskey. When Renee walked up to him, he thought she was me. We looked close enough alike that deep in the throws of intoxication, he wouldn’t have known. I know that now. Anyway, she talked to him. He told her all about what happened, and she told him she would never leave him, no matter what. And then she suggested they go back to his apartment…. and well, it’s your parents, so yeah. I think you can figure out that was about nine months before you were born.
“When George woke up he was terrified. He knew he had made a horrible mistake. He was furious. He yelled at her and Renee just laughed. She said she would tell me and he would never see me again. But it was worse than that. I saw them.” My breath hitches in my chest. I know how bad that feels. Watching Joe and Erin. But it’s nothing compared to losing Cody.
“I walked into the apartment looking for George and found him in bed with my sister. So I ran. I wouldn’t listen, and I didn’t care. I moved to New York and became a nurse. I mostly raised you because Renee was a total shit. I know it’s not nice to speak ill of the dead, but still,” she shrugs. It’s the truth, so what can she do?
“But where do I come in? How come he didn’t want me?” I ask.
“Oh, I forgot. A couple weeks later, Renee found out she was expecting and she and the Senator demanded George marry her and fall into the family fold again. But he said no. He would never marry her because of her part in things. He owned his role in it all, it was a mistake, but hers, was cruel. So he sent her packing. Said he would do everything else his dad wanted but marry, if he couldn’t have me.
“Renee had no choice but to come to me and beg for help with the baby. She wasn’t going to raise you on her own. George knew she would. He figured by giving you up, you would end up in my care and far, far away from the Senator. He felt it was the best he could do by you. But you have to know, he’s looked out for you your whole life. He’s the one who set up this opportunity for you after the fall out in New York.”
I was reeling. I cannot believe the words, the picture Mable painted. How sad to be so unwanted, and yet so loved all at the same time. Mable, I guess did the best she could with a crappy situation, when she was very young. I guess I can relate, I did pretty much the same thing. And Cody didn’t sleep with my sister. I’ve actually never been so glad that I don’t have a sister before now.
“I see you’re thinking things through. Moving forward, we can go in any direction you want to go, love. But now, we have to do something important.”
“What’s that Aunt Mable?” I ask.
“Baby, Saturday morning, Sam and the girls were killed in a car crash. Drunk driver. We have to go call on Aliza.”
“Oh, no,” I gasp. Poor Aliza. And poor Holt…And Cody.
“Yes, baby. So while you’re thinking about the relationships in your life and who you want to keep and who you don’t, maybe remember that life is short, and that some of us make bad mistakes with the best of intentions,” she takes a deep breath. “And also, that I’ll love you forever.”
“I love you too. Let me clean up real quick and we can go see Aliza.
When we knock on the front door, a beautiful woman with long black hair answers. She looks sad, but thoughtfully, towards the stairs. I’m assuming this is where Aliza is living out her grief.
“We’re here to see Aliza,” Mable says.
“I’m Hannah, I’ll tell her you called, but she’s not really up to it right now,” the woman tells us.
“Okay, we’ll come back later,” I said. “My aunt made these maple blondie squares,” I try to hand the package off to Hannah.
“Hannah, was that the door?” Aliza asks. “Oh, hello Mable, Angie. Come on in,” she tells us. We follow her into the living room where we all take a seat, where Hannah places the tin of blondies on the coffee table.
