I can’t help but wonder if he’d be happier with a nice girl like that. One who could put his career and his needs ahead of her own. I’m not that kind of woman, and I never will be. But will he grow to resent me in the end?
As the celebrating goes on, Kyle and I excuse ourselves. He follows me back to my condo in La Jolla in his truck, and we head inside to change our clothes, pulling on shorts and T-shirts to walk along the beach.
He holds my hand as we trail up and down the shoreline, and eventually we settle in the sand, me sitting in between his muscular thighs as we watch the sunset. I lean my head back against his strong chest and think I could live like this. Everything, every sacrifice, every struggle, is worth it because this moment is perfect. It’s a magical day, one we get to spend together in a way I could easily and happily enjoy every day for the rest of my life. As the sky lights in sherbet oranges, pinks, lilacs, and blues, it’s like a fairy tale.
Today is a dream.
My vision fades and shimmers like the tuner going out on an old TV, and I remember it was a dream, one that was never meant to be mine.
And then I fade into the darkness again.
Chapter Eleven
Kyle
I have to go
She’s pulling away, and I fucking hate it.
Last night, I wanted to take MacKenzie out to dinner and then make love to her all night long. I managed to delay my report date to Cole Security in Virginia so I could spend this time with Mack before she left. But now I can’t help but feel irritated and wonder if I should have left first.
She was quiet, and if I’m being honest, a little despondent when she got home from work last night. I should have known; I should have seen the writing on the wall, but I’ve never been on this side of the leaving before. And to be honest, it fucking sucks.
“Do you want to change and we can go out to eat?” I ask her, though she’s distracted. It takes me two or three times of calling her name for her to realize I’m talking to her.
“What?” she asks, sounding more than a little startled. “Oh, no. I think I just want to stay in and get to bed early. The call tomorrow is at seven.”
“Okay,” I reply. This isn’t my deployment, and I know I like things a certain way before I leave, so it’s not a leap to assume that she does too. I figure she needs a quiet night in and takeout for dinner, and that’s what I’ll give her. “What do you want me to call in for dinner?”
“I don’t know,” she whispers. “What do you want?”
“I want whatever you want,” I remind her. I don’t like feeling that pulling teeth would be easier than prying answers from her. MacKenzie and I have never been like this before. We’ve always been honest and open with one another, and I don’t like this. It makes me feel frustrated and restless. But still, I don’t want to push her before she leaves, so I just bite back what I really want to say.
“Maybe a gyro and fries from Daphne’s?” she asks.
“You got it,” I say before placing a kiss to her lips. “Why don’t you go change and get comfy, and I’ll go get dinner.”
“That sounds good.”
“I’ll be back in about thirty,” I tell her before walking out the front door. Maybe she just needs a minute to decompress before spending her last evening stateside with me, but when I get home, it’s no better.
She’s still distant and cool.
We eat quietly, and then I clean up the containers and take out the trash. When I come back, Mack is on the sofa, flipping through the channels. I climb over her so that I’m laying behind her with my arms around her, and I feel her whole body stiffen.
She doesn’t want me to hold her. I’m not a mind reader, and I have no idea what’s going through her head, so I just decide to muscle through. She seems to settle in for a bit, and it’s just enough to give my flagging spirits hope.
After a while, she shuts off the TV, and I follow her upstairs, checking the front door and turning off the lights as I go. When I get to the bedroom, she’s bent over at the waist, pulling off her leggings. And a pair of plain cotton panties and one of my PT T-shirts have never looked so sexy.
I strip down to my boxer briefs while she climbs under the covers and turns out her bedside light. I climb in behind her and spoon her under the covers. I ruck my shirt up over her breasts and hold one in the palm of my hand before moving to graze my thumb over her nipple. Tucking my face in the crook of her neck, I kiss and nip at her soft skin. Her nipple pebbles against my palm and she arches her body into my waiting hand.
I’ve always loved her petite body, the way her lean frame holds the understated curves of a woman. Just enough to fill the palm of my hand, or to grab onto while I fuck her right. Her body is perfect. She’s perfect for me.
“Kyle,” she whispers, and I dip my hand between her legs finding her hot and wet. MacKenzie might have wanted me to think her cold and indifferent tonight, but her pussy is anything but.
She moans and rocks her hips against my hand, and I plunge a finger inside her while flicking my thumb over her clit. She gasps and grips my forearm tight in her hand, holding me to her pussy when she needs me most. But I don’t let her come. I want to watch her face flush with pleasure as she finds her release.
Instead, I slip from her hold and roll to the side of the bed.
