She’s like the best kind of balm to my soul. There’s a slight throbbing, a vibration running through my skin where I’m touching her. I would compare it to a key partially sliding into a lock, the first few pins clicking into place...
“Fuck! I hate sharing her touch, but I can’t take this away from him after that fucked-up dream.”My head jerks up, and I look Marcus in the eyes. He’s mere inches away from me, having given up no space at all when I came over.
“How do you know I had a fucked-up dream?” Along with my question, a scene from my dream flashes before my eyes, but it was from a slightly different perspective, seeing as how I’m watching myself in it. “Holy shit, did you see my dream?” This time, he nods his head at my question, and I muse out loud, “How is that even possible?”
“I’m working on a theory. Would you…”I sit back and take my hands off of her face, opting to grab her hand closest to me with both of mine. I hold a couple of fingers to her pulse point so I can feel her heartbeat. “...with me?” I hear Marcus finish as soon as my hands are on her again.
“Would Iwhatwith you?” I raise an eyebrow at his choppy phrasing. It’s not like him to talk in incomplete thoughts like that. Although, it’s also not normal for me to hear him in my head either.
“Isaid,would you care to test it out with me?”His tone shows just how exasperated with me he’s becoming.
Trying to clarify, I can’t help but ask, “Test what out?”
“Oh, for the love of Fates. Can you not follow a conversation? I know that was a fucked-up dream your psyche came up with...He may need some mental help over that shit...but seriously, will you focus?”If I thought Marcus sounded exasperated before, now he sounds well and truly fed up with me. His words are clipped and have a sharp edge to them.
I stare at him like he just asked the dumbest question. He rolls his eyes, and the normalcy of the action helps erase the rest of the lingering dread the dream left me with. That, and feeling the steady beat of her pulse under my fingertips.
“Great… I won’t be repeating myself this time, so you better pay attention. My theory is that somehow we can hear whoever’s in wolf form if we’re touching her in human form. I have no idea why, but that’s something we can ascertain when she wakes up. It seems like I can’t hear your thoughts when you’re in your human form; my guess is because you’re able to voice them to us in that form and we can understand you. Or maybe we just need more information to figure it out.”
His theory seems plausible, although it could just as easily be aliens or those ear bugs from Star Trek. Khan! I shudder at the thought as my mind continues cycling through other thoughts. I’m relieved he can’t hear me right now; otherwise, he probably would’ve caught the fleeting thought about her being in a coma and won’t be waking up anytime soon. I’m worried about how he’ll react to the news since he has no experience controlling his emotions. We all saw the moment they kicked in. Knowing him like we do, it would’ve been hard to miss. “Sounds great. How are we going to test your theory?”
“I'll keep thinking a trail of thoughts, and you take your hands off of her and put them back on and see what happens.”He sounds scholarly right now, something we typically expect from Derrick, not Marcus.
Finding no faults with his plan, I quickly agree. “Ok, got it. Sounds like a good way to test your theory.”
My hands are already touching her, so as soon as he starts talking, I follow through with the plan he laid out, and remove them, then place them again just to remove them, and so on.“I seriously think we need to talk about your dream, tha… etty fucked up shi… would your sub… think to even dream… and her…”
“Okay! Okay! Your theory was right. Please, for fuck’s sake, do NOT think about that anymore!” I take a few breaths to try and steady myself. I want to reach out and take her hand again, but I can’t handle hearing Marcus’ thoughts about the dream right now. Running my hand through my hair, I wish it was her hair I was feeling instead. In lieu of touching her, I stare at her face, with probably a shit ton of longing all over my own features, which is impossible to hide at the moment.
Marcus lets out a yip to get my attention. My eyes land on him, and he gestures with his head for me to place my hand on her again. My eyes narrow as I question if I can really trust his thoughts right now. After a moment of deliberation, I place my hand in hers again.
Seeing my hand in hers, Marcus immediately starts talking,“I’m surprised she hasn’t woken up yet, with everything that’s happened. And with the way you were repeatedly placing your hand on her and taking it away like that. She must be a deep sleeper... right? Either that or she’s just too exhausted. What do you think?”
Dang. I really don’t want to be answering that question right now. “There’s a reason she hasn’t woken up, but I'll tell you about it when the rest of the guys wake up.” There, I answered without having to tell him what I know. Now to distract him… “What do you think is up with us hearing each other’s thoughts when we touch her? Maybe she’s like an X-Man with mind abilities similar to Professor Xavier or Jean Grey. How cool would that be?!”
“I wish I had an answer, but sadly, I don’t. We know humans don’t have magical abilities, so I guess it’s possible she could be a witch or came in contact with one at some point who put some kind of spell on her… I’m certain she has something to do with it though, since the Fates played a hand in us finding her. So for now, I’m glad we figured out this part of how it works. I’m sure it will come in handy.”I’m not surprised he ignored my movie reference.
There's a pause in our conversation, and I realize my thumb is caressing the back of her hand. I didn’t even register I was doing it. Marcus still has his paw draped over her collarbone and shoulder on the side closest to him, and that vibration is still there under my skin like a slight tickle.
“Too bad we can’t use that ability without having to touch her… you know… seeing as how you’re so territorial over her,” I say to him with a smirk on my face, and he narrows his eyes on me before he responds.
“You’re touching her right now, aren’t you? I haven't tried to kill you yet, have I? Though I oughta smack you upside the head for that bullshit, and after that I should put you in a headlock just to remind you which one of us is the top dog around here.”
“Oh yeah? I’d like to see you try! Go ahead and shift, and we can see who is undeniably the ‘top dog’ around here.” I don’t harbor any delusions that I would beat Marcus, but it’s nice to have this back-and-forth conversation since he hasn’t been acting like himself. This dominance competition is a lot more along the lines of something he would normally say. He’s constantly trying to teach us new fighting moves he learned in his various military stints.
“Nah, I’m good, man.”He turns his head away from me with a distant glaze in his eyes.
“What do you mean, you’re good? You never turn down a chance to spar!” So much for thinking he was sounding more like himself.
“I just don’t want to shift right now.” He sounds like a sullen teenager.
There’s something about his tone telling me he’s trying to hide his real reasons. Holy shit. Light bulb moment! He’s probably freaking out over not being able to control his emotions. Aw, crap… I can’t believe I didn’t realize sooner. Marcus! Afraid of something! I never thought I would see the day. I feel like a dick. He has no experience dealing with his feelings, and now all of a sudden he’s being territorial over a human the Fates led us to save. On top of that, he’s acting all moody.
“You seem to be expressing some emotions that are uncharacteristic for your robot self there, man. You want to talk about it?” He lets out a huff at my question. It could be wishful thinking, but he sounds almost relieved I asked about it.
“Dude, it’s as if a switch was flicked and my body is now consumed with all these feelings. I don't know what they are, what they mean, or what I should do about them. I feel like a fucking toddler who wants to throw a tantrum over nothing. And that'scertainlynot who I am. I’m wrecked and no longer know which way is up anymore.”
“I know you like to be in control of everything around you at all times, and I’m confident you’ll get the hang of things quickly; you won’t give yourself any other option. But maybe you should give yourself a bit of a break in the meantime. Just hit pause and try to think through what it is you’re experiencing and count to five to process before responding. Trust me, this will do wonders.”
