An involuntary sigh leaves her after she finishes her first handful and she reaches for another. I’m made an immediate believer in the powers of the water she just drank upon observing the change that comes over her pallor with just one sip. She drinks until the small pool of water is too empty to get any more water out without the use of a straw. “Did you get enough?” I press on.
“Enough for now. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to keep up with the energy I’m losing or not, but Fates know if Marcus is around, I won’t be able to drink more.” She gives an epic eye roll along with her statement. As much as I’m dying to know what’s going on there, I need to take baby steps when pressing her for information that she’s obviously unwilling to share, and this doesn’t seem like the battle I want to take on right now.
Reaching out my arm to help her up, she groans before taking it. With a sheepish wince, she asks, “Do you mind if I cover our marks back up? I promise to explain it later, but for now, I just want to keep it between the two of us.” She exudes guilt for even asking, and I’m not going to lie and say I don’t feel any disappointment. My heart felt full to bursting this morning, but now, it’s shrinking by the moment. My bubble feels popped.
The smile gradually leaving my face must tip her off. She reaches for my shoulder to pull me in for a kiss. I’m tempted to pull away from her, to deny her something she wants, to disappoint her like she has me... but that would just result in refusing myself something I want as well, which is simply a lose-lose situation.
She softly brushes her lips against mine, and the buzz of our bond tingles my lips. The bond thrums with the comfort she’s passing to me. “Derrick, we just don’t have time right now for me to explain. You know the other guys won’t give us privacy for long right now.” Fuck this whole situation and not being able to spend the time together as a normal bonding couple would be afforded. Having to wait for all kinds of answers from her is going to quickly become the bane of my existence.
“Yeah, sure, go ahead,” I respond, holding my arm out for her. A slight warmth covers my mark before it fades from view. Once she releases my arm, I turn around to head back to the other guys, no sense in wasting time trying to get the answers she isn’t ready to give me. I can’t wait to be past the point of wading through the beginning of a relationship.
Giving her my back feels wrong. The experiences she’s been through lately... I should be more understanding right now. Shit, I’m being such a dick. Pausing, I turn around to wait for her to catch up. She gives me a hesitant smile when I reach out my hand for her to grab, and once she does, I lace our fingers together. The rest of our walk back is passed in silence, both of us feeling a slight strain between us.
I rub my hands through my hair as we walk up to the others. In the short amount of time we’ve been gone, they’ve already packed up everything from camp. “I’ll walk with the girl, the rest of you shift and be alert on our travels.” Marcus gives his orders in a clipped tone, only to be immediately argued with.
“I’m sorry, do you not understand the meaning of the words ‘I need space?’ Because if not, I can educate you…” Damn, Cecily’s sass gets turned up to max whenever Marcus is around. I’m not sure if she’s being argumentative toward him because she means it, or just wants to be the white to his black. The way they butt heads is going to either be a strain on everyone, or a great source of entertainment. I’m not sure which one it’ll be yet.
Marcus, not used to being refused, gives her a blank gaze. Confusion crosses his face as he replies to her, “Of course I know what it means. Just because that is what you want, doesn’t mean you’ll get it. That’s life, Darlin’. Or is that not something you’re used to?” Oh fuck, he might have a death wish.
Her eyes narrow on him. “Don’t do something you’ll regret later, Marcus. If I recall, you sure seemed like you wanted me to not hate you last night. You’re real close to fucking things up for yourself if you don’t respect my need for space right now. It may have been five hundred years for you, but it feels like yesterday for me.” Cecily’s face begins to get red in potent rage, and Klaus gradually inches his way closer to her.
“Why do you keep talking like I somehow abused you? I don’t fucking know you! For fuck’s sake, you need to start making some sense, woman!” Marcus throws his arms up in frustration and then places them on his hips as he stares her down. Alex glances around like he’s uncomfortable, his hand rubbing the back of his neck.
Klaus, who hasn’t stopped his slow approach, places a hand on the small of her back when he reaches her. At the pressure of his touch, Cecily peers up at him and her features instantly soften. Her expression is a brief one before she’s gazing back toward Marcus with a mix of hurt and rage in her eyes. “You don’t fucking know me? I guess there are no bounds to the lengths you’ll go in rejecting me.” Man, if looks could kill, Marcus would be a goner. Her words cause confusion in all of us, and her tone is sharp as a knife.
Klaus instantly holds up one hand toward Marcus, his eyes pleading for him to not say anything. With Klaus’ other arm, he pulls Cecily into his chest and she instantly fists his shirt in both hands as she soaks up the comfort he’s giving her.“Guys, she’s experiencing immense amounts of anguish right now. I know it doesn’t make sense to us, but she believes she knows Marcus. Whether we believe it or not, that’s her reality, and we need to respect it until she’s ready to tell us.”
The words are spoken right into our minds, coming from Klaus. A pang of jealousy hits me. How is he able to know what my mate is feeling? Opening up my connection to her, I’m flooded with the anguish he’s talking about. Coming down the line of our bond is a torrent of mixed emotions, ranging from rage to fear, even going all the way to reluctant love.
My heart hurts when I recognize her reluctant love, because it isn’t directed toward me. All of her feelings are focused on Marcus, and I can’t figure out why she has such a strong reaction to him. As the day goes on, it’s becoming more and more imperative for me to get some privacy with her, so she can open up and give me the answers we all need.
With the bond now open between us, I’m pummeled with the heartbreak she’s trying to build a wall around to contain again. She feels as if her heart was ripped open and torn to bits. She also appreciates how Klaus is always there to hold her together when she feels like falling apart the most. As much as I wish that’s me right now, I’m glad she has him if it gives her a sense of peace.
Bending his head down, Klaus whispers into her ear. Damn, too bad I’m not close enough to overhear what he’s saying to her. Marcus rubs both hands over his head before gazing at the ground and sighing as his shoulders slump. Poor guy has been getting the rough end of things lately. The ironic thing about her accusation that he’s rejected her is, she’s the one rejecting him at every turn. He wants nothing more than to claim her as his.
If I knew it wouldn’t push her away, I would force her to tell all of us everything that is going on with her right now. She doesn’t realize how desperately dedicated to her each one of us is. We all just want whatever is best for her, which includes her happiness and protection. There isn’t anything we wouldn’t do for her.
As if we’re linked into a spell, Marcus, Alex, and I lift our heads at the same time, and direct all our awareness on our girl. It’s like there’s a bubble around Klaus and our girl—they’re lost in their own world, no interference able to penetrate and distract them from seeing anyone but each other.
His hand is rubbing her back, and she’s nodding her head in agreement to whatever it is he’s saying to her. Their cheeks press against each other, and we watch as they both relax into the touch. Her fingers loosen their hold on his shirt, and his hand rubbing her back finally rests on the crest of her hip.
She begins to nuzzle into his cheek as she pulls her head back and the corner of their lips touch. Her rapidly pumping heartbeats can be felt coming down the bond we share, along with desire. There’s no denying how much she wants him to kiss her right now. I can’t decide if I want him to go through with it, or to pull away from her.
Everything in me says this is right, but my head tells me there hasn’t been an instance of our ancestors sharing a mate before, so why should I? I’m relieved my lips are the only ones she’s tasted, but there’s also a wrongness surrounding that truth. My heart’s telling me he’s just as much hers as I am.
My eyes dart to Alex and Marcus, to gleam what their thoughts are on this situation. They both heard us last night, and are now here to observe her being all close and personal with another member from our group. Marcus is standing with his arms crossed over his chest, a seriousness to his face, devoid of any signs as to his inner thoughts. Alex, on the other hand, is practically bouncing on his toes, looking like he’s about to cheer them on.
I peek at Cecily, to see she has her body pressed up against Klaus, lips still resting right next to his, but now they’re locked onto each other’s eyes. Klaus isn’t typically one to wear his thoughts on his face, but his eyes are expressive right now. He wants to kiss her, no doubt about it. There’s also worry trying to get in the way. He’s trying to decide if kissing her right now is the best decision.
There’s no way to know for sure what thoughts are trying to pull him away from kissing her. I don’t find it appropriate to try and ask right now, either. A cloud of regret crosses his vision, right before he moves to pull away. Immediately, through the bond, I feel the ache in her chest at his rejection.
Studying her face, you would never know what’s going on inside her head right now—smooth as glass, the hurt stabbing through her isn’t reflected. Her heart can’t handle more rejection right now, and she doesn’t understand how she can be misinterpreting how he acts toward her. My reaction to her pain is visceral, the need to protect, soothe, and repair what’s hurting her is instinctual.“Don’t pull away, man.”
I can’t be sure he gets my message, seeing as how they still seem to be in their own bubble. Alex joins in on the encouragement though. “Yes! Just kissss the girl.” His words almost come off in a sing-song tone; I swear it sounds familiar like it came from a movie. Klaus finally shows some kind of reaction by the twitch of his mouth, as he tries not to smile. Alex is such a shit sometimes.
Finally, we hear a single grunt come through our mind connection, the only agreement we’ll get from Marcus. My gut clenches as I watch Klaus dip his head down to brush his nose against hers.I don’t want him to kiss her. I do want him to kiss her. Back and forth, my emotions are haywire. One thing I do know, this is the right course of action. Cecily comes first in everything, and as much as I don’t want to admit it, Klaus gives her something different than I do. She needs us both and who am I to deny her that?
She’s reluctant to believe he’s no longer pulling back from her. Somehow I know she’s thinking of a past time where she was teased about being kissed. The moment his lips touch hers though, she allows herself to feel the nervous butterflies rapidly multiplying. Her tightly built walls immediately meet their fall the moment his tongue sweeps into her mouth. Her wall tumbles down and is decimated into particles smaller than dust.The details the bond is feeding me are mind boggling.
